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painful sex-none of the usual culprits.

26 replies

itsbetterthanabox · 01/02/2016 13:39

Since I started having sex it has hurt. It's fine. We just generally do other sexual stuff not piv but I want to know what's causing this!
The front wall and the opening feel sore like its raw and sex starts to burn. Sometimes I just get Vulval pain too when sitting down etc. It's significantly worse around the time of my period.
I've been tested for just about everything and have Nothing. I don't tense or tighten up. No allergy to condoms.
I've been examined by gynaecologists multiple times and there's nothing to see. Had a clear smear last year.
I've tried cleansing just with water and using unscented cleansing creams from the doctor, no difference. We've tried lots of lubes but I'm not dry anyway. I've been on the pill and off it.
No doctor can tell me what's wrong or what I can do.
Any ideas?

OP posts:
Honeyh365 · 01/02/2016 16:06

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Honeyh365 · 01/02/2016 17:11

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Jennifer11 · 01/02/2016 17:48

I've been prone to this over the years. I'd agree with all tips for thrush (nothing scented, avoiding wearing tights all the time etc) but I've also found Multi Gyn gel from Boots really good. Have a tendency to get sore and itchy as if I'm getting thrush (but I'm not ) - well worth a try!

Honeyh365 · 02/02/2016 13:49

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itsbetterthanabox · 02/02/2016 15:13

I have tried all sorts of soaps and not using soaps and washing liquids. It's definitely not that causing it.
I've not used tampons and used moon cups or pads. No difference.
I don't wear tight undies or trousers.
It definitely isn't thrush or cystitis.
I've had it for about 10 years. There's no smell and I'm gentle with myself.
I don't know what is best. Thanks for your advice. I've tried so many remedies and meds for different things it could be but nothing has helped.
Anyone know what the condition could be? Or have similar? Sad

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itsbetterthanabox · 02/02/2016 15:16

Does sudocrem help then? I have tried different creams but as I can't put them inside they don't help there and outside not much either

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SparklyTinselTits · 02/02/2016 15:27

I've heard about a condition called vaginismus (sp?) that's entirely psychological. It's something to do with the muscles in and around the vagina involuntarily tighten, making sex painful.
If you doctors can't find anything physically wrong, then could it be a physiological thing? Anxiety surrounding sex? A bad experience in the past?

I could be totally off the mark, but that's the only thing I could think of if there's no infection/allergy/injury down there

SparklyTinselTits · 02/02/2016 15:28

Psychological*

Not physiological

NameChange30 · 02/02/2016 15:32

This sounds like vulvodynia. It's awful really but many GPs and even gynaecologists don't know much about it. My advice is to print off some info, take it to your GP and ask for a referral to a vulval pain specialist. And if you're in the UK, the Vulval Pain Society is a great source of information, advice and support.

Honeyh365 · 02/02/2016 15:42

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Honeyh365 · 02/02/2016 15:46

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itsbetterthanabox · 02/02/2016 16:45

Honey
We don't really have piv sex as it's painful. We maybe do it every few months. We do other things together. He has no symptoms or issues at all.
We do use condoms atm and have tried latex free, it makes no difference. We've also not used condoms when I was on the pill and again no change.

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 02/02/2016 16:59

OP did you see my post?

Orangeanddemons · 02/02/2016 17:04

Sounds like vulvodynia to me. It's significant that it gets worse before a period.

Morasssassafras · 02/02/2016 17:12

Endometriosis can cause painful sex. Many other symptoms and it's something that normally takes years to diagnose so worth doing a web search and seeing if you have any of the other symptoms.

itsbetterthanabox · 04/02/2016 01:00

Thank you anotheremma
I have heard of vulvodynia. I suppose I never want it to be that because it's not a clear diagnoses lol! It's just a series of symptoms with no cure only management.
The only thing I wonder is would vulvodynia still hurt inside the vagina too? As I have that.
Thank you for the link I'll look more into it.

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itsbetterthanabox · 04/02/2016 01:02

With endometriosis I have find it confusing because they say pain during sex is a symptom but what kind of pain? It isn't described. I don't bleed between periods. I do have heavy periods though. The other symptoms are so vague!

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LucyBabs · 04/02/2016 01:11

I had what my gynae thought was endometriosis after I had my first dc. Sex became so uncomfortable and I would have pain in my vulva at certain times. I didn't think it was endometriosis because from what I read its internal pain only? It stopped after about 18 months.

As an aside my Mam had vulva and vaginal dermatitis which caused very similar symptoms to yours itsbetter

NameChange30 · 04/02/2016 08:51

If you have pain inside the vagina, particularly in the entrance to the vagina, it's probably vestibulodynia which is very similar to vulvodynia. The VPS website explains the difference between the two. Basically the "vestibule" is the entrance to the vagina so if that's the bit that usually hurts, that's what you have. You can have a bit of both though (pain in the vestibule during sex, ie provoked pain, and vulval pain for no particular reason, ie unprovoked pain) which is what I have. It's a depressing diagnosis but it is actually very treatable and manageable if you see the right gynaecologist. It's taken a long time but I can have pain-free sex now. If you want more advice and recommendations please feel free to PM me.

INeedNewShoes · 04/02/2016 09:01

It'd be worth trying Balance Active Gel for BV.

I always had the issue you describe but then had a phase of issues down below (just general discomfort made worse by cycling) and pharmacist recommended the BV gel to resettle ph levels. After that a welcome side effect was that all of a sudden my issues with burny horridness during sex disappeared.

Might be worth a try. But otherwise please don't be shy about seeking help from your GP about this. Problems having sex are not uncommon and there will be things that can help you.

NameChange30 · 04/02/2016 09:07

If it's thrush or bacterial vaginosis you should go to the doctors and get a swab to make sure. I did have thrush at the beginning but the burning sensations and pain were still there even after the thrush had gone. Some OTC treatments can make it worse, too. Avoid all pessaries and creams! I did find BioFem and Balance Active Gel were OK - not irritating but they didn't make much difference.

itsbetterthanabox · 04/02/2016 09:39

It's definitely not thrush or bv or any other infection. I've been tested many times for everything and been to multiple doctors and gynaes.

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itsbetterthanabox · 04/02/2016 09:41

Anotheremma
How do you find the right gynae though? This is the issue! I've been to loads. One told me to have some wine! Another said to have a baby, I was 19 and a uni student..
Where do you find ones who know about these conditions?
Thank you for you advice!

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NameChange30 · 04/02/2016 13:39

If you live in London or could travel there, the Royal Free has a vulval pain clinic which is very good. I don't live in London but have taken days off work to go the clinic and it was definitely worth it.

If you're too far from London I suggest you look on the VPS website for info on gynaes - there are also support groups (online and face to face) that you can ask for recommendations.

Please feel free to PM if you want to talk locations and other specifics.

NameChange30 · 04/02/2016 13:46

From the VPS website:

"Vulval clinics
A vulval clinic is usually a hospital service offering care specifically for vulval problems and it can be run by a number of different speciality doctors. The British Society for the Study of Vulval Disease is an organisation of health professionals who have an interest in vulval disease. They hold a database of vulval clinics and services in the UK. The Clinics in the UK page of their website allows you to search for clinics and services near you using an interactive map, or alternatively you can download a list (PDF). As a patient you cannot self-refer to these clinics but you could discuss referral with your GP."

vulvalpainsociety.org/vps/index.php/further-help/getting-help-from-health-professionals

(The whole page is useful actually so do have a look!)

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