Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Original poster

Out of practise, help!!

18 replies

backonthebikeagain · 07/01/2016 14:08

I have been single for 4 years, sex with exdp wasnt great. I had a one stand a few years ago and it was awful.

Currently dating someone very nice but am terrified about having sex. I have had 2 children so my body is full of stretch marks etc.

Please someone remind how to have great sex! Foreplay was never a big thing with exdp, any tips would be appreciated :)

OP posts:
Shaftmesideways · 07/01/2016 18:55

I'd say have a drink to relax & follow your gut instinct, slowly, no need to rush. Enjoy the journey & have confidence in yourself. Nothing is sexier than confidence, don't be afraid to take the lead.

Needtoprotect16 · 07/01/2016 19:00

Can you talk about this to your partner so they are sensitive to how you're feeling?

Original poster
backonthebikeagain · 07/01/2016 19:02

I dont know, Im not good with talking about this out loud IYSWIM!! Im actually very shy, its so annoying!

I could say Im very nervous. Ive ordered a chemise that should look ok and will cover me up! I will have to practice with lighting :)

I hate this, I just want to skip to where we are comfortable together!!

OP posts:
Goodbetterbest · 07/01/2016 23:15

Enthusiasm is a good starting point. Accepting your body as it is will help you feel confident. We're all older and saggier now, but I'd guess your partner will simply be delighted that they are in bed and you are naked and want to have sex with them. Smile

Take your time, relax and enjoy it.

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/01/2016 23:23

It's really difficult to get into the swing of having sex with somebody new, especially when you've been with somebody for a long time. I would also suggest one or two glasses of wine to relax not get pissed, definitely experiment with lighting, chemise is a GREAT idea, and will be very well received I would have thought. What about having a light spray tan maybe? That can do wonders for stretch marks. The first time I had sex after my husband left, I was utterly terrified, but we very quickly forgot any awkwardness and it was lovely. I promise you, it will be fine! Do report back Wink

Original poster
backonthebikeagain · 08/01/2016 10:14

Thanks all, I hadnt thought about spray tan. Maybe I will practise and see if it works! There something called Airbrush Legs that looks good.

OP posts:
SparklyTinselTits · 08/01/2016 10:18

I agree with pp.

  • fake tan works wonders to dull the appearance of stretch marks and scars! I've got a few stretch marks on my tummy and scarring from horrific sunburn on my arse Blush (moral of the story, don't get pissed and fall asleep on the beach) but St Tropez tan makes them barely noticeable Smile
  • and talk to him about being nervous. You don't have to go into detail, just tell him it's been a while and your nervous. If he's a nice guy, who is worthy of being in your bed, then he will understand and ease into it at a pace that's comfortable for you!

Enjoy yourself OP! Grin

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/01/2016 10:58

No, don't use airbrush legs! If you're a novice to fake tan, go and have a spray tan at a salon, it will be well worth it (or have a look at local FB pages and see if there is somebody who will come and do it for you at home with their own equipment, infinitely cheaper). You can then practice on your own when under less pressure. I don't know what your skin tone is, but perhaps start with one of the "summer skin" products, such as Dove, which is a moisturiser with a touch of fake tan and progress from there I am the fake tan queen Smile

mrsjskelton · 08/01/2016 11:04

If this person is respectful and deserving of you, they won't notice your stretch marks! It will also feel comfortable even if it's not perfect. If it's wrong it will feel wrong. Any person who acknowledges your children will not expect a supermodel and should love you for the hard working, glorious mum you are'

Original poster
backonthebikeagain · 08/01/2016 11:14

Ah, thank you all! I am a total fake tan novice. When I was 18 I mis read the instructions and thought sparingly meant use more! My knees and feet were orange :)

Im not sure I could even stand in front of a woman to spray tan me though :( I will have a look in Boots later and practise this weekend!

OP posts:
G1veMeStrength · 08/01/2016 11:18

Flipping heck you don't need a spray tan! You are bloody wonderful as you are - if he doesn't think so, don't have sex with him anyway! You'll be FINE- just do what you feel happy to do, take it at your own pace, and don't worry about other peoples ideas of what you should be doing.

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/01/2016 11:26

Back, you don't have to be naked. I should say that I only suggested this as a little confidence boost for the OP...it is scary showing your body to somebody new, especially if you have stretchmarks etc. I just found it worked for me and made me feel better about myself Smile. If you're going to go and buy a product anyway, stick to light shades and with a guide colour to avoid streaks. Use a mitt to apply, wash hand thoroughly and use a wet wipe lightly over ankles, knees and elbows to prevent colour sticking to those drier bits.

I do totally agree however, that whoever he is should love you stretchmarks or not and I hope it is a really lovely experience for you both!

RedMapleLeaf · 08/01/2016 17:13

Say something like it's been a while since you last did this and you almost feel like it's your first time. I said this once to a man (it was half true and I was half feeling a bit lazy Blush ) and it was very well received.

RedMapleLeaf · 08/01/2016 17:15

Also, I think it might be worth spending two or three minutes a day just appreciating your body a bit. I don't mean that as a euphemism, I just mean moisturising your legs after a shower or using a hair mask or whatever and being mindful of how amazing the human body is.

Original poster
backonthebikeagain · 08/01/2016 19:32

Thank you all!! I hate my body, if I could have a tummy tuck, boob job and laser treatment I would!! Im exercising a lot at the moment in the hope of toning up!! Has anyone had any joy with bio oil on stretch marks??

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 08/01/2016 23:14

I did the bio oil thing but didn't notice much difference to be honest. They do fade though, I can't remember a time when I didn't have stretchmarks now, they are just part of me. Thus far, they haven't put anybody off. A toned tummy is just as nice, stretchmarks or not! I do moisturise my entire body every single day and exfoliate regularly, I just find my skin is much nicer for it....and don't forget your feet...Smile

Goodbetterbest · 09/01/2016 11:41

I agree with the PP about taking care of yourself and investing on some grooming - both money and time.

One of the best things about having a lover is that you become self-aware in a positive way. If I hadn't of met anyone I would be a fat, moustached layabout who lived in PJs. I'm far from glossy but I do at least take care of myself, and I feel good 75% of the time.

Exfoliate, moisturise, wax, shave, trim. Anything which makes you feel better about yourself.

Goodbetterbest · 09/01/2016 11:42

And watch Shirley Valentine, Tom Conte loves her stretch marks Smile

New posts on this thread. Refresh page

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.