Bf very shy - how to help him gain confidence and teach him what I like - I'm also v shy!

[Talulaley]

We've been going out for four months now. He's a lovely, lovely guy, I fancy him like mad, and the kissing is amazing. But .. He's very shy, lacking in confidence, and not very experienced. I'm also very shy, not very good at all at saying what I like or don't like. He doesn't seem to know quite where to touch me or how, I mean he knows the general area but doesn't quite hit the spot, sometimes even with guidance. Oral is amazing, but not very often and I hate asking.

I don't want it to be an issue, make him even less confident. I don't mind if I don't have an orgasm every time. I'm happy just to kiss a lot, and we do kiss a lot!

Any ideas on how I can tactfully help him and also without being too embarrassed myself?

Forgot to add, we also use a lot of lubricant. He doesn't seem to get wet at all when aroused (precum?), and says it's uncomfortable when I stroke him without lubrication. This isn't a problem, but not something I've come across before.

says it's uncomfortable when I stroke him without lubrication
I wouldn't expect a bloke to produce enough precome to lubricate his whole cock, but - trying to think - I don't think I remember any fellas I've slept with saying they needed lube to enjoy a handy. But everyone's different and maybe he's got used to masturbating with lube as a teenager and now just prefers the sensation.

Different strokes for different folks

Re the shyness, would making it into a sort of game help? Like you could write little questions that you both have to answer and then read out, like
"I really love it when my partner does ..."
"My favourite thing to do to my partner is..."
"Something I want my partner to do to me but am too shy to ask..."
"Something I wish my partner would do more of is..."

Re the "too shy to ask" question, only put it in there if you can be sure you won't pull a freak out if your partner reveals they have a kink. If he says "I really wish Talulaley would pull out a strap on and fuck me in the arse with it" you need to be able to go "Interesting!" rather than "OH GOD NO!"

I think the 'my fave thing to do with my partner' type stuff can easily get too close to, 'phew, my ex was awesome and you aren't quite there yet, I'm going to need to train you up to reach his amazingly high standards.' There's a need to tread carefully here.

As for the lube thing, well, dry skin on dry skin isn't anywhere near as lovely as the feeling of lubed skin... Sorry if TMI. And no, us chaps generally don't get wet.

I honestly think you just need to keep on showing and guiding each other and most of all - talk. Talk. Talk. And smile and laugh too, but don't forget to talk. If you can get over your shyness enough to have sex, you can easily talk about it. Good luck op.

Thanks.

Unfortunately I do find it difficult to talk about it

I usually drop lots of saliva, Eekaman is right...a handjob is much nicer when slippery.

Have you tried telling him.what you enjoy while you are not in bed ie an out of bed convo about what you love in bed? Or just after sex maybe, when you are both feeling close? I am a big shy is saying what I want too, so I either whisper it or demonstrate ie, so I don't have to say it out loud, so to speak

If your shy put the lights out and tell him - talk dirty - hopefully it will blow his mind not scare him off. :)

Few drinks also helps loosen the inhibitions a bit but not too many!

Neither of us drink

I struggle to talk dirty, I know he'd like that, but I find it difficult, due to shyness.

How do you know he's like it?

He told me once on the phone.

Sext him. My boyfriend was away for a while and we had few very good conversations on text at bedtime along the lines of ... If I was with right now I'd want to xxxxx to you / I wish you were in bed with me so you could do xxxx
Gave us an idea of what we both liked most.