Painful sex post menopause

[Flossyfloof]

For the last 6 months or so sex has been really painful for me. I bought some lube which has helped a little but not that much. Went to the GP who suggested topical hormone treatment which neither of us wants to try.
It is increasingly hard for me as my partner can't really let go as he's scared of hurting me and the whole sex thing is currently just ok rather than fantastic (as it gas been for the last 20 plus years).
Has anyone experienced the same? Any suggestions gratefully received!

There are creams for vaginal dryness that contain hormones, that are often only used every other night. Once the problem is sorted with cream, it often only needs to be used occasionally. Might be worth talking to your GP again, and explaining your reservations about the cream.

I saw a very young doctor, nice, but didn't wholly understand the problem. She has noted "vaginal dryness" but that is only part of it, I don't feel as if it is the dryness which is making it hard. Anyway we have agreed that we will try a couple of different lubricants and if no joy try the hormone cream. She did give me a prescription but neither of us are keen to make that the first port of call.
Thanks for your response.

Why do you not want to use the cream?

Once you start replacing the oestrogen that you are no longer producing yourself, you will probably find the problem is resolved. You may still need to use a small amount of lubricant, but the pain should be sorted.

Lubricant on its own won't help because you get vaginal atrophy (shrinkage) post menopause - the oestrogen cream is necessary to prevent that.

DP thinks I will grow a moustache, ha very ha. I don't fancy the idea of taking hormones, albeit topical.

You won't grow a moustache as a result of using a topical oestrogen replacement.

You may grow some facial hair as a result of menopause though.

Why would an oestrogen replacement cream give you a moustache, given it's only replacing the hormones you're losing as a result of the menopause?

If the doctor has prescribed a treatment, I'd go with that, otherwise what's the point of going in the first place?

TBH I think the GP understood the problem perfectly and has suggested the correct solution.

Obviously what you do is up to you, OP.

As I explained, I don't feel that it is just dryness. There is a specific area which is very painful on intercourse, not in the normal way of things. She suggested a lubricant and I said I would try that first.
I know I won't grow a moustache as a result, that was a joke.
I hav obviously never been in this situation. I don't particularly want to be using hormones as I am scared.
I mentioned severe pain to the doc, at the vaginal entrance, she looked and thought I might have a mild prolapse. Unlikely as I have not had kids, a gynaecologist mentioned years ago that my cervix looked low. I just don't have great confidence. I think a prolapse and tender vaginal entrance would not be related.

Can you get a referral to a gynae if you are concerned about the pain?

I use ovestin cream and I think it's brilliant! I've had no side effects, just a much more comfortable fanjo It's not like full HRT, it just acts locally.

I don't feel that it is just dryness.

Thinking back, for me it was dryness, plus a stinging pain near the vaginal entrance, and a couple of times, the day after sex I felt like everything was falling out. The hormonal cream has sorted out all these and also my recurrent bouts of BV.

Honestly, I'd give it a try and then if you're still having problems, get a referral. You can always just stop using it if you decide it's not for you.

I had stinging too
It's not just dryness it's also that the skin thins
Oestrogen ring, needs changing every 3 months, and sylk lubricant works a treat

I'm 54, and now 4 years post-menopause. My doctor prescribed Vagifem pessaries for this same problem (and recurrent cystitis-type irritation ) about 6 weeks ago. I use them twice a week and they have helped enormously. I have also been using HRT patches (Evorel Conti 50) for the past year.

As 3littlefrogs says, the problem is not so much lack of lubrication, which can be added, but the vaginal walls become thinner after menopause causing increased sensitivity, and the specific painful area you describe is probably due to this.

The hormones in the gel/pessaries are a very low dose and just work on the parts they are applied to!

Apparently OP the more sex you have the better it gets as more blood rushes to the area and you produce more natural lubrication.

OP here is a link to a natural health website that may help you to find an answer that appeals.

www.marilynglenville.com/what-are-vaginal-atrophy-vaginal-dryness/

The terminology is so bloody dreadful isn't it? Everyone, I seem to have vaginal atrophy!
Very helpful, many thanks. When I next go into the village I will pick up the prescription and take notice of the nutritional advice. We eat quite a few lentils and also take vitamin C so that's a start.

Morning just popped in to say I have used the Vagifem for a week omg cannot believe the difference! Just feeling more comfortable day to day and sex was barely uncomfortable. I am still going to go back to speak to my GP about some concerns but it was so nice for us not to be worried. I had imagined the pessaries to be huuuuuge but they are so tiny. Thanks again for all your advice.

That's good news OP

I think vagifem is what I'm on.

Question for those more knowledgeable - I didn't have a period from last August and assumed I'd stopped. Went to GP in October with lots of peri menopausal symptoms including dryness and loss of libido etc.

Even when I did feel frisky, no matter HOW aroused I got it was like the Sahara down there 😳

Got prescribed the pessaries and they helped enormously.

Then had a period in December and then exactly a month later.

So if I'm menstruating again (for now) do I need to still use the pessaries?? Because surely my natural oestrogen levels are back?

I saw this thread and came to sing the praises of Vagifem but I see the OP has already tried it.
No lube made it bearable for me, I needed the topical estrogen.
The dose was 25mcg twice a week when I started it but is now 10mcg twoce a week and works just as well

Premeno! It' an unbelievable lubricating product works for up to three days and can replace estrogen creams! Different issue, but I was proscribed estrogen cream whilst breastfeeding and did not want to go down that path, but these were a lifesaver! www.amazon.co.uk/Premeno-Duo-Vaginal-Ovules-Rehydration/dp/B002WDTJLE/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1454267582&sr=8-2&keywords=premeno