Soft erection help?

[catfacesunday]

I have a lovely new boyfriend who's in his 50s. He didn't have a partner for a long time before me & I put his soft erections down to a 'getting to know you/relaxing' process. However we've been together for some time now & things aren't improving. I don't want to tell him I can barely feel him inside as I don't want to destroy his confidence. He acknowledges it could be better. Googling impotence on my own I read that poor blood vessel dilation is the no.1 cause of impotence issues. He's now told me his cholesterol is 7.5 so it seems the two add up. He's very keen to please however & has just started to change his diet to hopefully lower his cholesterol & with luck improve his erections too. I wondered if anyone else has had any success achieving stronger erections & how did they do it? I've thought about a cock-ring but isn't that only useful after the penis is hard? It would also be nice to be able to feel him cum. Right now his climax is so weak I wouldn't notice. He goes to the gym regularly so his exercise is good. Good PIV sex really matters to me, yes there are lots of other things you can do but there's nothing quite like a really satisfying fuck.

Would he be willing to try Viagra?

I have a lovely new partner, we've been together almost a year. His previous relationship destroyed him sexually, and not in a good way. His ex wife used to ridicule him etc, and took away all of his confidence. When we first began to be intimate, he found it very difficult to get and maintain an erection. He went to the GPs and he prescribed Viagra. It really helped with maintaining an erection and he was very hard. We're now at the stage where he doesn't need Viagra anymore, but he struggles to climax. He's never actually come when we've been together - he can when masturbating on his own or if we're indulging in phone sex.

But, I guess what I'm trying to say in a very long winded way, is that there could be help out there should he want to access it.

Good luck.

I think this is definitely a "see the GP" one. He sounds like a good candidate for Viagra.

As the others have said, viagra really can make a big difference. Also, there are other similar things like cialis if he doesn't get on with viagra.

The problem could be physical or psychological. Either way, you need to get him to see his GP.

Speaking from experience, I think you should not just assume it is ED. I had the same when I met my partner and it was definitely nerves/adrenalin that did it (I'm male by the way). It took quite a few love making sessions to overcome the problem. Personally, I felt that the need to satisfy and perform made me a bit stressed. Also, don't forget that men need foreplay and stimulation and the common approach to sex of lots of foreplay centred on the woman, then the woman cums, then PIV is not optimal for a man - particularly if the woman takes 10 or 15 minutes to cum (even now I can't stay hard without stimulation for more than a couple of minutes - but this is psychological because I can stay hard for 15 or 20 mins on my own or with mutual masturbation). If you want to see your new man's new potential, have a session where you just satisfy him and get on with PIV without much foreplay on you (use lube before you start if you need it). Stimulate him manually and lick his nipples - then have a proper good fuck quite quickly - let him have the pleasure. Get your climax later. Once you have done this a few times he will be confident and you can mix back in the woman cums first or cum together arrangement.
Other things that won't help his ability to stay hard are; too much alcohol, work/other stress (has he definitely put his last partner out of his life?), lack of privacy (eg your kids in the house/flat mates?), big meal before hand, any hygiene/smell issues (both partners), tight condom, lack of lube/tightness.
Longer term, the use of a vibrator by the woman can help - it simply makes the job of satisfying your female partner quicker and easier so that you can get on with what most men want (PIV). When my partner takes ages to cum I can totally lose hardness by the time we get to the "let me have it" moment - by that point I have an aching wrist from giving her foreplay and a lost urge!
If this does not work, maybe it is ED - but it was not ED in my case.

Cosmic,

What you have (not had) also sounds like a form of ED. You would likely also benefit from Viagra / cialis. And suggesting using lube instead of foreplay on the female is frankly ridiculous.

Given the situation, I think Cosmic has given good advice provided she gets to cum later.

Horrid though it may be, it's definitely worth a trip to the GP to rule out the many conditions which may cause this. Certainly in the UK it holds the promise of drugs on prescription if they turn out to be necessary.

All the best.