He hates bj's

[zuberellla]

New man. He loves giving oral, will do it for ages makes a right meal of it BUT he doesn't like receiving What man doesn't like a BJ? Hasn't let me near it yet. Trouble is I LOVE giving bj's. I mean I REALLY love giving bj's. Part of that is my own satisfaction of a knob in my mouth but also it's seeing the pleasure you give. He hasn't told me of any bad experiences & nothing bad has happened between us yet to put him off. How can I win him round? The thought of never giving another bj is making me

And I thought it was just me!

Can't say I'm very keen on BJs. We do have a great sex life - after 40+ years. Partly because she is REALLY sexy outside the bedroom too

I find it quite baffling why BJs are so popular for men

If he's like me, it could be that he likes to be really dominant and BJs involve a loss of control. Note that you can be both dominant and considerate, though

I wouldn't try this with a new man but if you were tied up, and he kneeled over you while you were giving a BJ, so he was still in charge

(Off to have a cold shower now ...)

I think it's a misconception that all men love BJs. Likewise not all women enjoy receiving oral.

Don't try to talk him round - if he doesn't like them it's his right to rule them out.

I would be a bit concerned if it was a power thing. A need to be always in control would be rather limiting, sexually.

Don't talk him round. Maybe he'll let you try at some point but it's his right not to like them or want one.

Personally I don't think you should try and 'win him round'. I dislike oral on me and would get very, very bored of someone trying to pressure me into it because they enjoyed it to the extent that I'd probably end it if they carried on pressuring me if I'd said enough times that it wasn't something I enjoyed.

Men hating oral sex seems as alien to people as women who love giving them does. (I'm like you and I'd not be able to feel comfortable having sex with a man who hates receiving them).

To me it says he doesn't trust you (I guess it leaves a man feeling very vulnerable to have hid manhood in someone's mouth!) and/or he's a control freak

Not liking a certain sexual practice does not automatically mean a lack of trust or that somebody is a control freak. If somebody does not want to take part in a sexual act, you should never adopt a role of convincing them.

Talk about it in a rational, adult manner. Do NOT pressure or label somebody who says no to sex of any kind.

Seriously he is a control freak because he doesn't like oral? Only on mn.

He just doesn't like them and that is completely fine, everyone likes different things. Don't try to win him round or pressure him, imagine how you would feel if a man tried to pressure you into a sex act. There is plenty of other things you could do or if you really don't think it will work then you know the relationship is perhaps not for you.

I'm just saying how I'd feel if my partner didn't like to receive them! Of course people are fully entitled to not participate in sex acts they don't feel comfortable doing

You respect his choices and get over it, or find a new partner more sexually compatible with you.

Lucky you!

I think you should quit the idea of trying to coerce him into a sex act he doesn't want to do

It's fair enough for him not to like receiving oral. I hate receiving. Love giving, but hate getting. It took my husband ages to understand that when I said no, I don't like it, don't do it, that I meant it. So I totally understand him here and think you should stop trying to make him fo something he doesn't like because you feel your preferences matter more trying to 'win him round'.

I thought I was good at BJs because a partner loved them so much - I realise now that I wasn't, it was just that he loved them.

If you like giving BJs because your partner is so turned on by them, then it will lose most of its pleasure because he won't be, surely? Why not look for whatever it is he does like?

Talk to him about it. Does he like someone licking his nipples for example?

My DP isn't a huge fan, my ex loved them so I don't think I'm terrible at giving them or anything! He says it's because his ex used to do a bad job and eventually he started to dislike them. I do go down on him now and then and he tells me he actually gets into it nowadays but he would rather have PIV.

I like them but can’t come when getting one, so a couple of minutes is great and then I want to do something else.