Help want to become a wanton sex goddess

[Tottie24]

So I'm quite shy, unimaginative, unadventurous in bed, I never take the lead, and feel like I don't really know what I'm doing or if im any good....I don't want to ask him as I suspect if I confessed about my lack of confidence that in itself is a bit of a turn off so I'm wanting to do something about it so I enjoy it more and can pleasure him better. What books or anything really would you recommend to turn me into a wanton sex goddess?!?!

No book can do anything for you - you need to communicate with your DP.

I don't agree with the previous poster.

I think you need to find out what turns you on and excites you, that's how you become a sex goddess! But sometimes you don't know what you don't know , and you need ideas from elsewhere to spark your own imagination.

Have a browse of literotica.com where you can read all sorts of fantasies. A lot of them will not be your cup of tea. But you never know what you might find, that might give you some new ideas to suggest to your partner. That could open up a whole discussion about what he likes, shared fantasies and so on.

Thanks you, SoConfused15 that is exactly what I was trying to ask as I havent a clue! Frowning up I was told that madturbation was wrong and I shouldn't do it .....so now I have no idea what I want, like, or where to start! thank you for your advice

You can ask your partner what he likes without him knowing you aren't confident. Start talking about fantasies and work it downwards into what things he likes you to do during a general session.

I would start by reading erotica and seeing what turns you on. That might give you some ideas. It's hard to communicate your needs and desires when you don't really have a good idea what they are.

Small changes with your partner will give you a confidence boost because he is likely to be thrilled. That could be anything from turning the lights on, whispering in his ear that you want to fuck him or him to fuck you, wearing something sexy, leaving him a note or sending a text suggesting having a shower together... small steps are a little bit scary, but achievable and it opens up the possibility that you can do more.
Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, it's about having fun.

OddSocks is right in one way, you DO need to take to your partner but at the same time, books and/or story sites online are a good way of exploring your own sexual chemistry before you talk to him. You never know, he may be feeling the same way as what you are.

I also second the texting thing - but after the conversation with your DP she says, currently in a rather steamy texting session with her DP

And as a last thing, if you're feeling really adventurous then maybe a sexy card game from lovehoney, I saw one that has questions to ask your partner (and he asks you, of course), and own one that gives you ideas for sex that I leave on my DP's desk every so often.

Nothing that happened between two consenting adults sexually is wrong. I agree with previous posters who say to browse somewhere like literotic or even check out some of the NSFW Tumblrs to get an idea of what turns you on.

Somethings we fantasise end up being the best things ever, others not so much (or worse) when we get to experience them but if you try it twice and still don't like it, find something else. Most men will tell you a woman who is confident in her own skin and open to exploring is incredibly sexy... Even just asking him, by text if you're not sure saying it aloud what he would like, may give you some confidence to follow up on what he says with something you would like.

What do you mean by sexual goddess? If you mean being in a good sexual relationship and being good at sex within that relationship, here are my thoughts (I'm male,, 50s, married twice with lots of sexual relationships)
In my experience a good sex partner equates to a partner who really wants to have sex with me and no woman can "make" themselves want to have sex unless they genuinely feel comfortable and really want to have sex for themselves. Trying hard to please a man as an isolated objective is dangerous. My hints/pointers are;
*Don't take your bearings from porn
*Good sex starts with a good non-sexual relationship and quality time together

• Good sex happens when you make time - don't try when you are tired, tipsy or stressed *Sort your contraception out if not trying to get pregnant - you won't enjoy sex and hence be good at sex if you worry it will get you pregnant if that is the last thing you want
• Be sexy/flirty on a one to one outside the bedroom
• Be clean an hygienic at every point you might have sex (shower twice a day)
• Get a vibrator and learn how to orgasm with your partner. If you get orgasm "returns" and enjoyment from your sexual approaches, you will be keen on sex for yourself and have a positive sex drive - this is great for a partner who also wants sex *Don't be body concious - "at night, all the cats are black" - sex is about emotions and being into each other - not vanity or "good looks". My current partner is the very best sex partner I have ever had - she is an over weight late fifties woman - but wow, she is the best and I never need to look at young "looker" women
• Use lube and be comfy and have privacy in where you have sex
• Have a clear agreement with your partner on dos and donts (oral, cum in mouth, anal, period sex etc) - agree on what you both have a mutual OK on and listen to each other's fantasies (not all are exotic - I have shared simple clothing fetishes with my partner and she has wowed and satisfied me big time - I;'m so glad I told her). Don't do what you are uncomfortable with - ever (you could damage your sexual mojo and get hang-ups)
• Remember that long term relationships have sex once or at most twice a week and mostly the comfy sort both partners like - not nightly sex olympics with porno style acts
• Good sex and good partnership mostly starts with a kiss and a cuddle with some emotion - it is not project work with deadlines or fixed calendars
• Flirt by text and phone - sets up that emotional desire for sex

Massively disagree with a lot of that cosmic although I do agree that pleasing your DP at the expense of your own needs is no good.

1. A ONS (if single) can be fun. You don't need an emotional connection. If you, personally, can't have sex without one ten that's fine. It isn't necessary though.

1. Showers twice a day don't matter. Your standard cleanliness is fine.

1. Use lube if you need it. If you get naturally quite wet then that's ok too and nothing to be embarrassed about.

1. Sex can be once or twice a week but this is down to the people involved. Wanting more or less is fine.

I fully agree with a list of do's and don'ts though. Find what you think you might like and experiment. It's supposed to be fun.

I think I misread your OP originally and assumed it was all about wanting to please your DP, you want tips for you though I think? Masturbate, try toys, read up on things you think you might like but still communicate. Try things and see how it goes and have fun!

Showers twice a day... not necessary dirty sex is best!

Shower twice a day? Really not necessary!

Couples in long-term relationships can have whatever kind of sex they want, however often they want. Comfy once a week is definitely not for everyone.

Comfy and privacy are not always necessary. Up against a tree on an evening walk is neither comfy nor private, but as long as you are not likely to offend anyone, it can be very wanton!

Lube is a personal choice. I didn't need it at all when I was younger, I do now.

Lust is as good an emotion as love.

I wouldn't use porn as a guide, but I've got some great ideas from Tumblr before.

Yes to the do/don't list. Communication is SO important. Don't try anything new without checking your partner is ok with it first.

I seem to say the ad nauseam but talk to him. There is nothing wrong with asking what he likes, you are not a mind reader and everyone is different. Tell him how you feel and ask him to share his. IME, saying nothing leads to the other accepting what you do because he thinks you like it or not to offend you. Talking makes it more enjoyable for both of you. What books told me was almost the opposite to what DP likes, he is the one who told me what he likes and how he likes it and visa versa, he is not a mind reader either.