Damaged ladyparts post-childbirth - any suggestions?

[SolidGoldBrass]

CBA to namechange.

GIving birth did make a bit of a mess of my fanjo: I had a lot of stitches. Over the years between then and now I have been single and, the few times I went out looking for sex, generally had some fun without much in the way of PIV. Now I have started seeing a man and I would like, now and again, to do PIV, only it is really Not Happening. It hurts. Even when I am very much in the mood and using lube. I feel like I might have been sewn up a bit too tight or something.

Is there anything that might help? THing is, my DS is eleven years old so it's not like I need to 'wait to heal up'.

See a Dr, it might need refashioning.

Urgh! A most alarming idea. Wouldn't that just make things worse?

Research vaginismus. I have suffered for a long time with this and know it can come on after childbirth.

I second refashioning, I know the feeling you're talking about like sewn up a bit too much, I had mine refashioned and it was a bit sore for a couple of weeks but it was well worth sorting out.

A friend had to have a refashioning, worked wonders.

Could be scar tissue. I have loads of it and it can be really painful. They will fix it if you know you aren't having any more children. A designer vagina. How exciting!

SGB - Go and see a Somatic Sex Educator: they are trained in scar tissue remediation and deal specifically with birth-related trauma. If you want the name of someone then PM me and let me know. (I'm one, but almost certainly not based where you are.)

I think it is scar tissue rather than vaginismus (it's very localised and I don't tense up). But the idea of refashioning really freaks me out.

Your gp maybe able to give you some cream to help.

Might you just need some physio? Sex didn't feel right for me either after lots of stitches but turned out to be a muscular problem in the pelvic floor which was sorted (thankfully) by a lovely physio who specialised in that department. See your gp for a referral, whatever the problem you should be able to get it fixed.

My dsis had to have a surgery after her first birth as the scar tissue was causing her problems.
Get yourself to your GP! It will be ok.

I had to have surgery to remove remnants of my hymen which were left behind (more out than inside) after giving birth to DS. That was 10 months after he was born. I knew there was something not right fairly early on, I was fobbed off my midwives and health visitors that it was normal and just healing. After 6 months I was totally fed up and went to the GP and she sent me to the gynae specialists at the hospital.

If I were you, I'd go to my GP, explain everything and request they have a look and/or send you to a gynae specialist.

Solid have you any other symptoms?

I've had a refashioning also after stitches. It was like a displaced nerve type thing that caused a stinging/hurty sensation during PIV.

I'd get referred to a gynae. I ask about other symptoms as I've also just dealt with prolapses and didn't know anything about prolapses realise it WAS that as there was a whole host of other symptoms. FWIW I had a 4th degree tear during childbirth. Was yours similar or an episiotomy scar?

I don't think I had an episiotomy, I think I just, er, split. I remember there being a lot of stitching.

I think what worries me the most is that I have left it for 11 years - isn't it too late to fix things?

Not too late at all, lots of people wait years because they don't want it done if they might have another child. In my case I had it done after 1 year because I said unless they fixed it there wouldn't be any more children for me. Get a referral to a gynaecologist.

Oh, and I did subsequently have another child, but as it happened, he came out the sunroof. I'm very happy I got it done.