After 20 yrs is it wrong of me to wonder what it would be like to have sex with somebody else?

[SheWhoDaresGins]

Since the age of 16 I have had the same sexual partner for 20 years. Even though it is really good most of the time I can't help feeling that I am missing out.

The thrill of a first kiss, the excitement of all that sexual tension building. That first moment you have sex. I miss that.

DP is experimental to a degree and we connect really well and I love him. I don't want to be with anyone else. I just want to feel the excitement of being with someone for the first time.

I'm only 36 and feel I am missing out some how.

No , you aren't missing out, except maybe on maturity.

It sounds as if you are just a bit curious that's all, and you are just thinking out loud. Not a sign of immaturity that I know of.

Nothing wrong with wondering.

it would only be "wrong" if you acted on it

I wouldn't act on it

In hindsight I wished I'd not settled down so young I suppose.

I am glad I sowed my seeds a bit before getting married.

But take my word on this, the grass is not greener.

I shagged about loads before I married. I can honestly say sex within a relationship is far far better.

No it's not wrong at all. You don't magically stop finding anyone apart from your SO sexually attractive the minute you enter into a committed relationship.

It's one of the reasons that monogamy seems so unnatural and unrealistic to many people, me included.

Obviously I don't condone cheating. If you have agreed to a monogamous relationship then you either honour that commitment or end it (or if you both want to sleep with other people, discuss the possibility of an open relationship).

I would never act on my urges and I know the grass isn't greener

Hmmm

I think we are just stuck in a rut really. To be honest I wouldn't want to do the whole dating shit again.

Ahhh I'm just thinking out loud really

I slept around quite a bit when younger and had a few long term relationships before meeting my now dp. So I have done it and I still feel a bit sad sometimes that I won't get to do it again.

I really don't see this as a strange thing to feel. I also feel a bit sad that I won't cuddle dd as a baby again and that i will never go into space. It is normal to miss nice things that's have passed and feel a bit sad that there are experiences you will never have.

I think when I was young i sort of believed anything was possible but now I'm in my 30s I have come to except that some doors are closed and I have to learn to live with the choices I have made. On the whole I am pretty happy with those choices :)

Though I would love to go into space

Really. I couldn't handle being in space.

I know what you mean about accepting my choices. I'm going to work harder keeping the spark going.

I still get butterflies when I know he's due in and when we had a break I missed him terribly so I know I want to be with him.

So I suppose now I need to look at ways to spice things up maybes.

Thanks for all the replies.

I've been with my DP 7 years, he is the only man I've ever been with too and sometimes I do miss that excitement and first spark that we once had.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wondering or even fantasizing, it's when you act on it that it becomes a problem.

That's it Olde that spark. I miss that belly flipping minute that you get when you first kiss someone even though I was ill at the time with a kidney infection, we clashed teeth then I threw up it was the best kiss ever

A bit naff perhaps but could you as a couple have a "first date" again somewhere? Hotel bar perhaps then nip up to your hotel room for a "first time" shag? Not sure it would fully work as you might feel silly pretending but it could fulfill a fantasy. Dress up sexy etc.

Of course it's not wrong to miss it - it's a wonderful feeling! All that "are we going to kiss, aren't we, oh my god we are, we're kissing!!!" That said, suspect what we're feeling nostalgic for is the whole teenage thing too - love and lust is all so new. Sigh ...

not wrong of you at all. been there done that and got the tee. Was (still am) with hubby from the age of 14. got to the age of about 36 and started wondering....turns out he was wondering too. we talked a lot, ended up dabbling in swinging for 18 months, absolutely loved it, brought us closer together, and was quite an amazing time, and one i shall look back on fondly, when i am old and grey!

Im 44 now and we do occasionally still have a dabble, though separately, as I tend to stick to the one guy now rather than several, and DH prefers clubs.