It all happened so quickly.

[ThePonyFormerlyKnownAsTony]

So, say you were dating somebody, somebody who's had relationships before, no known issues. You have sex for the first time and he comes very quickly. You don't have sex again that night.
Do you think it could just be a one off or something that could be worked on and improved or something that's just the way it is with little chance of improvement?
He's lovely but I'm now nervous that it will be like this again.

Sorry for posting this at 3pm by the way, Ive just been mulling it over and I did look for a similar thread but couldn't find one.

How would we know ?

Fair point.

I was just hoping for advice from people with a bit more experience than me but you're right.

I don't mean to be rude.

But surely the options are

1. ask him, he is the one with the info you need

2. assume it could be a) performance anxiety which will settle b) a long term issue

Yeah, thanks for the response.
Sorry if I offended/seemed stupid, I've asked for this to be deleted anyway.

You didn't seem stupid and it's not a stupid question. Sorry you've asked for your thread to be deleted OP.

You haven't offended, nor seemed stupid

If you want an answer though, you won't find it here. You might get people telling you their experiences but it won't tell you what is happening with tthis bloke.

Bit harsh any fucker

Op first night nerves are not unheard of so if you like him I would not discount him on that experience.

I would definitely not ask him about it yet. He is probably mortified.

AF sometimes your posting style can come across as a bit too blunt.

Op, it's completely fair for you to feel a bit concerned. if you like this man and want to sleep with him again, I would give him another chance. It could very well be performance anxiety. If it happens again, please feel you can talk about it. sensitivity is the key. Explain that you want both of you to have a satisfying experience and look for ways to get that together. examples could be him masturbating before sex, or finishing and then continuing to pleasure you, then maybe round two!

Thanks all. I didn't want to ask him just in case I made it an issue and it became worse.

I really like him so will just see how it pans out.

Thank you all.

I think that is a good plan for now, but you have the right to have satisfying sex too. It doesn't have to be a big issue, it can be something easily worked around. Good luck, and feel free to post again for advice, please don't be put off. :)

Good luck op hope next time is better

He wasn't selfish at all. And I think he was a bit embarrassed, he apologised but then he didn't initiate sex again so I was worried it was something he's used to happening or something to do with me.
He'd already come once, before we had sex, which wasn't so quick (through foreplay rather than sex).

It can depend on a couple of things.

1. With a new partner it does seem to happen a lot quicker than you’d strictly want it to. It might mean he really fancies you.

1. How old is he. If he came twice then he may be struggling to raise the pressure for the third go.

1. He may be embarrassed that it happened so quick that he didn’t want to risk it again.

I’m a bloke, if it happens to me then I do my level best to make sure that she has a smile on her face by doing other stuff.

Thanks! Hope it was 3 and not that he didn't enjoy himself. Oh well, sure it'll become clear soon.

did you come, or did he come quickly and that was it?

If thats the case, I wouldnt go back for seconds

If you like him, have a relaxing night and you initiate the sex. If he comes quickly act as its nothing and ask him how long will it take for him to recover so you can go again. Keep repeating this and don't let him out of your bed until the issue is resolved, this is such an easy issue to solve. Good luck and enjoy.

I was initially thinking, from a male perspective, that it was simply new partner anxiety, nothing to concern anyone.

Then I read he'd already cum once during foreplay... well, that should have taken the edge of things and pretty much ensured OP and the fella were going to be in for a lengthy session - which didn't happen. Cumming quickly once in a session can happen, but twice? I'm thinking there's more to this.

If OP likes him enough, have another go, and if it happens again, maybe then try to have this stress free, no drama conversation askng him if this is how it normally happens for him.

Good luck OP.

He was probably nervous, very excited, not had sex for a while and things will probably improve. Stick with it and give him a chance, I know it can be very disappointing and frustrating but chances are it will get better.

I would put it down to first time nerves/over excitement. If it's been a while for him he probably would have struggled to hold back. If it's an on going problem it definitely needs discussing. There are exercises etc that can help I should imagine.

Hope things improve op! Please don't be put off posting by one rude poster

This happened to my dp the first time we had sex. That was 10 months ago and it hasn't happened since. He apologised at the time and is generally a bit anxious about his performance, so I guess it was nerves. I would not write this guy off - the first few times you have sex with someone are rarely the best times. Tbh dp wasn't anything to write home about bed-wise, but it just got better and better as we got to know each other and both became more relaxed. Its fabulous now and I am so glad I didn't write him off

could be anxiety- my ex husband was exactly like this- he was actually gay but trying to live a 'normal' life. He either came very quickly or couldn't sustain an erection at all

This is what we call a zombie thread Joystir. Op could be into a six+ month relationship with someone else by now!