Had sex with old FWB - was it bad for him now that I've had a baby ?

[NancyPiecrust]

So me and my ex have been separated a while now and I have been finding it really hard going from regular sex to no sex, intimacy, kissing or cuddling for months and months....So I have been chatting to and old f**k buddy and we arranged to meet up last night...I haven't seen him in that way for almost 5 years...We've both matured and things have changed since then but I found our sex last night really awkward and he seemed to have a hard time staying hard... He's always enjoyed me giving him oral sex and I really enjoy doing it too so that was the main focus and he seemed to stay hard when I was doing that...but when we put a condom on or started penetrative sex he was hard-ish but not rock hard or not hard enough for me to feel it really well even though he is very well endowed...if you see what I mean. He is a bit of a selfish lover but he has never had a problem with climaxing with me before but for some reason he just couldn't come through penetrative sex this time...was weird. He was very quiet as well and it all seemed a bit watered down and awkward. I mean it was really hot at first but then I dunno... I was just paranoid that because I have had a baby 1.5 years ago that I am just not tight enough down there anymore or he doesn't fancy me anymore...I mean I am about 1/2 a stone heavier than I used to be...and 5 years older...But I'm only 26 and I have been told always by guys that I'm very beautiful/hot & have a good figure etc...Never had any guy have a problem climaxing like this before ! :( And my ex DP always had to really stop himself from coming too soon as he was so turned on by sex with me. I just feel my newly single confidence knocked by this encounter now. It did also just make me realise that he is actually quite a selfish lover and i probably won't be booty calling him again !! He was just pounding away with no regard for if I was enjoying it.....UGh. Made me really miss my loving, connected, perfect, amazing sex with my ex and made me miss him even more :( So all in all not a great night !! :-/

Don't take it personally. There could be a gazillion reasons why the sex wasn't the same as it used to be 5 years ago.
And try not to compare every encounter with the sex you had with your ex.

you are assuming it's all you. there easily could have been factors his end In his life that could have affected how he was feeling and how he was performing.

I wouldn't dwell on it. truth is sex doesn't always go well even with partners. occasionally life happens and your body just doesn't respond how you want it to.

it's no bearing on you or your body.

It's him.
He's still banging out the same moves he was years ago when you were both younger and you less experienced. Over time you have gained more experience and know more about what you like. Whereas him, he doesn't really care. You could draw him lots of diagrams, guide him, but he would nod in agreement. He would say anything but still continue as before because generally it works for him.
Then lots of guys don't like condoms.

Please don't blame yourself! Wish women wouldn't be so quick to seek faults with themselves!

I mean he has aged too, many men have problems keeping it hard and steady as they age. Maybe he drank or he's smoking or he wan*ed before he saw you to allay his nerves. I don't think it's you hun!

Move on. Please.

I very much doubt the fact you've had a baby has anything to do with it being crap sex. 1/2 a stone is fuck all as well, not noticeable at all on most people.

I wasted too long hooking up with a selfish lover and it's just not worth it. You deserve better!

Your body is now the body of a mother - embrace that fact. He sounds a little immature and perhaps has no understanding of how a woman's body changes post birth.

And as for "banging away" - ewww, he sounds just awful. If that is his style I would guess he is watching too much porn and has skewed perceptions of what a woman's body actually looks like and what actually turns women on.

I don't think he sounds immature, because he doesn't really sound anything. He was quiet, and awkward, and not responding well to a call to fuck after a lengthy break.

You've no idea what's been going on in his life, and perhaps it's as simple as discovering that fuckbuddying is no longer for him.

All the big build-up, all the post-match analysis is you, not him.

Sometimes you can't just turn the clock back. I can see that you want to feel desired, especially after a break up, but that doesn't mean that the reality of an old sort-of-flame is going to work.

Honestly OP as said above, it's not you.

And speaking as a male, let's look at things; 26, hot, sexy, with curves, whats not to like? So move on from him, find someone who gives as well as receives and wants you for you. Good luck.

Maybe he's just not that in to you anymore.

It's probably because it's been a long time and the build up was hotter than the reality.

You hadn't seen him in five years. It was always gonna be 50/50 whether you could pick up where you left off, and unfortunately it simply sounds like neither of you were feeling it (no pun intended).

I'm sure your vagina is fine and dandy tho.

There is 5 years between the last time and this... I really wouldn't think too much about it x