Is bad sex a reason to leave?

[findmeacupboard]

I love my husband, i honestly really do hes kind and carig and looks after me and i still find him attractive. My issue is that our sex life is crap. In 7 years wev been together i can count the number of orgasms on 1 hand. He tries and i try to show him whats good and we have sex at least once a week normally so we definitely practice but no matter what its just never got any better.

Its getting me down to a point where i feel like im not sure i can spend the rest of my life like this. Iv talked to him, wev tried weekends away, toys, going back to basics, taking it slow, quickies but its just never gotten any better.

What would you do in my situation?

I have just started seeing a 'inexperienced guy' but I think it's much better than someone with loads of experience. I think if you have chemistry the sex should be good, maybe it's a sign that your relationship is not great, maybe you are not made for each other?

This would be a deal-breaker for me, and I'm not that highly sexed. Bad sex is dispiriting, soul-sapping and IMO rather bad for you.

Other people have suggested the improvement option, but have you tried going without? I suspect, sadly, you might find it an improvement. If you do, the relationship is over.

MN is full of people being told to LTB because DP handed them a crisp in a strange way, but in your case I really would advise you leaving like a shot.

You're way too young to sign up for a lifetime of shit sex.

It's not a case of you either get a man who's
Good in bed BUT treats you like shit,
OR
Crap in bed but treats you wonderfully.

You can get the whole thing in one package! It's not even that unusual!

Thankyou all so much for yourr replies, it honestly means so much cos iv been beginning to feel like im going insane.

Gonna have to seriously mull things over and make a decision. I don't wanna have 'that' conversation with dh and tell him im thinking of leaving to decide that maybe i or we can get past this in the future.

In my head i feel like i want to be with him for everything else about the relationship but the sex part. I still want him and find him attractive, i just know that he doesnt push the right buttons in bed for me and it puts me off sleeping with him.

But on the other hand he does look after me so well. I have a few serious health issues and hes always stodd by me no matter what has happened, in the 7 years wev been together iv had major surgery, minor surgery, been diagnosed with a condition that can kill me if not handled properly, and suffered with depression so badly iv attempted suicide twice. But i finally feel like im past the bad point in my life and i find myself happy more than unhappy now, and i feel like the sec thing is the part of my relationship thats stopping me from saying 'im totally ok now'

I see a counsellor every few weeks still and the intimacy/sex issue is mostly the only real issue iv still been dealing with. Yes i still have a few things that crop up every now and then but all in all im fairly stable now.

I know me telling dh that im thinking of leaving will either crush him or hell flip and go berserk, hes a very laid back guy in general and its only when it comes to me that he doesnt really deal well with stuff.

I spoke to my best friend earlier who said that i need to make sure im 100% decided on my decision and stick to it. She said to her were an awesome couple together and fit so well in every other aspect that it baffles her why our sex life cant sort itself out

Have you actually demonstrated to him what foreplay you like, as in 10 minutes of you being sensual towards him and then him replicating it back to you and then switching again?

It sounds like he has issues with sex and a lower libido - is he will to address them?

My dh has never had another partner but he really enjoys me enjoying sex and I think for my not huge experience the key, and the driver for the other person to explore and find out what works for each other?

I know and i really want to sort this issue. Leaving ny marriage is my very last resort

Thats a thought actually id never thought of that!! Thanks honeyh

Would he 'play a game' where you gave him a lesson? My DH would love that.

Sex counselling? Is that a thing? For couples, I mean!

Be very careful of making decisions based on opinions on the Internet, it is renowned for allowing haters to express opinions they would not normally express and you have no idea what mess they have made of their own lives.