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Original poster

Advice again please!

12 replies

lucsnowe · 12/10/2015 22:25

I wonder if anyone can help... I've been in a new relationship for nearly six months. After a slightly troubled very early start to our sex life, all was great. Orgasms for me were more reliable and better than ever before. I put this down to my age (42), feeling more self-confident and happier with my body than in my emotionally insecure younger years, as well as very happy with and attracted to my new man. However, quite mysteriously, in the last few weeks, I seem to have lost the ability to orgasm. I can't think of an explanation. It is the same at all points of my cycle. I'm becoming increasingly annoyed and frustrated with myself which is not helping, of course. Can anyone think of a constructive way forward?

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 14/10/2015 20:38

Are you still able to orgasm through masturbation?

Have you had any changes to diet or lifestyle in the last few weeks, including any tablets you take (inc contraception)?

BG2015 · 14/10/2015 21:53

I too have a similar problem. I've been with my fella for a year now.

I fancy him a lot. He's very spontaneous and we've had sex all over the house and at random times - no sex at 10pm in bed in the dark here (well sometimes) but I love it, it's good fun.

It's not boring at all and I feel very relaxed and comfortable with him more than any man I've been with.

I'm 46 and he's 50.

We have sex about 4 times a week and I maybe orgasm once or twice. I'm very intune with my body and can orgasm just through penetration - as long as the right bits are rubbing of course.

I come close many times but just can't seem to get to the end, which I don't understand. I know its in my head.

Totally understand where you're coming from

Original poster
lucsnowe · 14/10/2015 23:12

Pocket saviour, thank you for your reply. No I just can't come at all. No changes to diet, lifestyle or contraception. It is really strange and annoying and frustrating.

BG2015 thank you for your reply too. yes I think it is all in my head too. Your new relationship sounds great. So were there any trigger factors alongside your inability to orgasm? And are you still able to come sometimes still? I do get so close, but just don't reach that final release. Whereas I could a few weeks ago!

OP posts:
GhettoFabulous · 16/10/2015 18:13

Hormonal changes due to being a certain age would be the most likely cause.

Original poster
lucsnowe · 16/10/2015 23:06

Thanks ghetto fabulous. The thing is, I don't feel any different hormonally: my cycles have not changed, I still have plenty of cervical mucus and it varies in the way I would expect across the month. Really odd.

OP posts:
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 17/10/2015 20:31

I had a problem with general numbness and pins & needles. I put up with it until one day I was unable to orgasm, Googled it and came to the conclusion I was deficient in vitamin B12. It was confirmed by my GP and I had a course of injections to bring the level up quickly, I now take 'under the tongue lozenges' (B12 injections stung like a bastard) so it might be worth trying them first, especially if you don't eat a lot of dark green leafy veg/red meat.

Original poster
lucsnowe · 18/10/2015 23:42

Thank you, MarkRuffalo! That's really interesting. I assume I would need to get the lozenges from the GP. Will definitely investigate. So were you able to orgasm again once your vitamin B12 levels were restored?

OP posts:
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 19/10/2015 09:27

You can buy them online or at health food shops but I would see if you can get some blood tests done first in case they mess up the results.

Mine was apparently 'borderline' (although looking at the numbers myself it appeared to be a v large 'normal range' and I was just outside of the very bottom so obviously low to me)

GP said she would check with colleagues, but it was most likely a gynae problem, but when she had checked she called me back and said yes, we should do the injections.

Very quickly the numbness went away in all areas and I was able to orgasm again. Just mentioning that in case your tests don't show a problem, or you are 'borderline' it could be worth trying anyway. You can't overdose on B12, you just get rid of any excess, so no risk.

Fwiw, they didn't seem too bothered about finding the cause for the low level either. I'm not a veggie nor had I changed diet lately. Who knows what causes it, but subsequent tests have shown it back up at the top of the normal range so I think the lozenges are doing a good job.

Goodbetterbest · 19/10/2015 17:40

That's really interesting about B12. I'm having the same problems as the OP, thought it was over doing things.

Original poster
lucsnowe · 21/10/2015 00:25

Hi Goodbetterbest yes I also wondered if I was over doing it! I'm looking into vitamin B12 though.

OP posts:
Goodbetterbest · 21/10/2015 23:17

I bought some today so will wait and see. :)

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 22/10/2015 09:57

Hope it helps Good xx

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