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Original poster

Is this normal?

32 replies

TobleroneBoo · 01/10/2015 08:45

I am very rarely " in the mood" for anything sexual. When it does happen, I always enjoy it but more often than not I literally feel like I cant be bothered to get going. Does that just happen, am I normal? I am 25, on the pill, very happy in my relationship so just lazy maybe?

OP posts:
cowbag1 · 01/10/2015 08:47

Change your contraception if you can. Completely revived my libido when I came off the pill. We had struggled to have sex more than once a month before I did.

Original poster
TobleroneBoo · 01/10/2015 10:30

Thank you - I was a bit scared of posting in this topic. Would you mind me asking what you changed to?

OP posts:
gatewalker · 01/10/2015 10:33

I echo that - get off the pill. It was a revelation. I used the copper coil instead. Now I'm back to condoms - no foreign bodies in my uterus.

MajesticWhine · 01/10/2015 10:52

Get a copper coil instead of the pill. You will become a monster.

gatewalker · 01/10/2015 11:08

As much as it is an effective contraceptive, the pill is a fecking scourge on women's ability to tune into their cycles and enjoy their sexuality. A very nice, socially and medically acceptable form of control. My opinion is pretty extreme, and I stand by in unapologetically.

gatewalker · 01/10/2015 11:09
  • it
Original poster
TobleroneBoo · 01/10/2015 11:42

Thank you for your responses. I understand, I haven't had a period in over two years. While its quite nice not having to deal with it, I do worry about what it is doing to my body. I am hoping to start a family soon, would copper coil still be best until then?

OP posts:
Jo4040 · 01/10/2015 11:49

I'm 25 and I can't not be arsed with it. It bothers my OH bcz he said surely our sex life can't be over at 25.

I love him, actually fancy him...but just want to cuddle at the end if a hard days at work and juggleing the kids.

I actually don't understand what all the big fuss is about. Not everybody has to like it.

Jo4040 · 01/10/2015 11:52

What is it that people like?!? It's a great big bloody Hassel.

gatewalker · 01/10/2015 12:36

That's you, Jo, and is not the case for many others. It simply comes down to physiology, psychology, and opinion. All entirely personal.

gatewalker · 01/10/2015 12:38

The copper coil (i.e. non-hormonal/non-IUD) is not usually prescribed for women who haven't had children, as far as I can remember, Toblerone, but I'd check just in case.

gatewalker · 01/10/2015 12:41

Apparently that information I just gave isn't relevant. It can be harder to fit a copper coil if you haven't had a baby, but it's a regular and normal procedure.

cowbag1 · 01/10/2015 13:40

We just use condoms now, partly because we want to ttc dc2 in a few months but mostly because I'm sick of pumping my body full of artificial hormones.

Of course some men and women just have lower sex drives but mine had always previously been high so I knew it was the pill. I tried a couple of different ones but they all have the same effect on me. Then I came off it to ttc and felt fantastic, and that has continued even with a 9mo baby to look after!

Once we've completed our family dh has said he'll have a vasectomy as he can see what a difference being off hormonal bc can make.

MajesticWhine · 01/10/2015 13:44

TobleroneBoo, if you are going to TTC soon, within a year or so, then it's probably not worth the hassle of getting a coil.
cowbag, hope he follows through - my DH too said he would have a vasectomy. DD3 is now 5 and strangely, that doctor's appointment hasn't been made yet HmmSmile

Dadof2wo · 01/10/2015 19:08

Jo4040, what is there not to like about it?

FattyNinjaOwl · 01/10/2015 19:17

My DP is getting a vasectomy. Until then I'm on the pill and using condoms. My 8 week old is here thanks to the pill failing.
I hate it. I am fat (i was anyway, due to a number of things, but i struggle to lose weight while on hormonal contraception) and im never in the mood. But hopefully not much longer as he has his appointment to discuss things with the consultant in 2 weeks.

xSummerStarsx · 01/10/2015 20:52

Nope, I hear you. I feel the same. I'm fine once in doing it, enjoy it, always orgasm and fancy my DP like crazy....but I never initiate as frankly I'm not that bothered.

I've got the copper coil, I just don't think I have a high sex drive. Only time I'm horny is when I'm on or hungover!
Maybe I'm just weird!

tb · 01/10/2015 21:25

I had a copper-7 coil, and then a graviguard-T (which wasn't as comfortable) about 15 years before I had dd, so they do, or used to, fit them to women who haven't had children.

Btw, it was the gp that fitted it, not a family planning clinic.

About the Mirena, I'll draw a veil - gloopy black sludge for a year until they took the bloody thing out, and periods, too.

Thankfully am now too old to need to bother with coil, pill, diaphragm etc.

TheImminentGin · 01/10/2015 21:32

Perhaps you would like to read Emily Nagoski on responsive desire
I've just discovered her blog The Dirty Normal and downloaded her book and I think she is awesome.

Jo4040 · 02/10/2015 20:04

Its just a effort. Iv got anxiety and (undiagnosed (yet) OCD)...so that prob plays a big part.

pocketsaviour · 04/10/2015 16:45

Another one here saying get off the pill. I switched to Depo (but if you're planning to TTC soon it might not be suitable.) Although it's hormonal it did not affect my libido the way the pill did, and a massive bonus is that I still don't have periods. Score!

I think with the coil they usually want to leave it in for 3-5 years so again TTC might become an issue. You could always go with condoms in the interim. I'm a fan of female condoms although they've not really caught on.

bodenbiscuit · 04/10/2015 16:48

I take Yasmin and that does not see, to affect my sex drive.

sinninginacorner · 04/10/2015 16:52

Just out if interest what pill was everyone on? I had a pill check last week and asked to change my pill because it was effecting my libido so badly. I've been prescribed Ovranette now (previously on microgynon) but can't decide whether to start taking it or not and risk just using condoms. I've not had kids but want them soon-ish so the nurse was reluctant to fit a coil and I also take the pill to control my previously extremely heavy and painful periods so not sure its a good idea? Were any of you who found the pill horrendous on Ovranette?

BastardGoDarkly · 04/10/2015 17:00

Yeah II found depo killed my libido stone dead!

I only got it back after last dc and dh finally getting the snip.

eurochick · 04/10/2015 17:01

Another one here who found that the Pill killed libido!

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