Just cant get there...

[Princessgrace2011]

Had one of those really good shags with my dh last night, kids fast asleep, really randy for each other, amazing foreplay, hitting all the right spots iykwim and just as the blessed moment was about to happen (literally on the brink of orgasm) and one of the kids coughed It completely lost my focas dh came seconds later, i was so angry at myself i bust into tears. This is not the first time this has happened either but this was the first time in a long time iv gotten that close whilst having sex. I mean years ago I could orgasm just through penertration not every time but now and again.
But lately its not been happening so dh just made me come in other ways which is ok but i so miss orgasming at the same time with him it made us feel that more connected and i long for that feeling again

We've tried all sorts more foreplay, night in a hotel, kids sleeping out so we know were not going to be interupted nothing works I just cant get my brain into gear! Really need to concentrate to orgasm and it feels like my brain is not connected to my bits, anyone else in the same predicament?

Any tips on how I can focas more?

It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. I know it's frustrating, but maybe you could focus on enjoying the moment a bit more and not willing that final push.
I think having children really does change your sex life for most people, and it takes time to get that back. Give yourself a bit of time and try to relax. I am sure you will get the connection back.
We had a few setbacks after having children, but we came through it much better than we were before.

I think having children and growing older also affects your physical way of orgasm.

I am much less sensitive than I used to be and it takes me a lot longer to get there.

But when I get there these days I enjoy very strong orgasms. More than I used to before DC.

Try and take the pressure off yourself op, you can orgasm (there is a thread on here where some women have never experienced one ) and your DH seems keen and able to get you there!! You could look into done toys to stimulate you first or during if you want to time it right? Bullet vibes are very good to use in this scenario.

Sometimes my DP is like a lovely Jack in the box bobbing up and down from oral to PiV to bring me to a point where we can be mutually satisfied.

I know about the crying with frustration at having nearly made it though...that's the downside of having kids about.

Thanks for the replies, i know having kids changes things my youngest is only 5 months! Yes u are both right need to stop putting pressure on myself and just relax!

5 months!!!

Definitely reduce the pressure! I think my bits were still numb!

Have a little browse on Lovehoney op?

I do wonder if Lovehoney's profits have soared since MN created this sex topic

I had an emergency c-section so my bits should be still in working order!

I was thinking of looking on lovehoney, every thread I read someone mentions lovehoney, think we might have some undercover lovehoney employees trying to drum up some business

I know! I think if I wasn't a 10 year veteran on MN I'd have an email asking me if I was on commission by now....

I think it sounds like instead of planning for it be spontaneous and just enjoy sex together. Maybe it's more likely to happen that way if pressure is off. Although I'm a new convert of lovehoney.

So am I minime
I got 20% off last night. Seemed rude not to purchase...

Love lovehoney !

What about one of the Durex vibrating rings ? They hit the spot pretty much every time for me. Sometimes your body forgets & these are a good reminder.