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Sex

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Original poster

High sex drive in women

17 replies

justjuanmorebeer · 18/07/2015 18:11

So I have always had one. Since puberty. It has ended up causing problems in every relationship I have ever had.
I am now in a great, great relationship I have been in for a year and the sex is really good, and frequent so long may it continue.
Are there any other mumsnetters with high libido too? If you google it I find it comes up as a symptom of bi polar (definitely don't have) and nothing more helpful so is this really abnormal to have sexual urges very often?

OP posts:

ProfessorPickles · 18/07/2015 20:04

How often are you meaning OP?
I can be really bad especially at the start of a new relationship or pregnant where I'm pretty much unsatisfiable because I want it again straight after, my sex drive goes way over the top! But dies down a little eventually in a relationship.
Is this how you feel?

WallyBantersJunkBox · 18/07/2015 20:33

I am the same at the moment. And in a fairly new relationship.

But it's never been like this for me generally. I think for me it's a couple of things....

Complete love and trust means I'm safe to go with my needs and desires

I've never ever been turned on by anyone like my new chap.

I'm approaching menopause so I think my body is urging me on for that last unimaginable baby.

Some days I am so aroused (sorry hate the word horny) that I can't even focus.

I rely on ahem "self maintenance" a lot on a quiet evening.

ROARmeow · 18/07/2015 20:34

I have a higher sex drive than DH, but I'm not sure which one of us is more 'normal'.

Sometimes it causes a few tiffs between us

I'm especially highly sexed around ovulation, and in late pregnancy.

CatMilkMan · 18/07/2015 20:36

From the title I almost expected the thread to be a man saying "know how I can find them?"
DP has a high sex drive and always has as far as I know.

Original poster

justjuanmorebeer · 18/07/2015 20:38

I mean that I want sex every day ideally for me I would get it at least once a day and I have pretty much always felt like this since I lost my virginity really. Most men I have been with were more than satisfied with it say, 3 x per week or less so I always felt like I'd like more.

OP posts:

Original poster

justjuanmorebeer · 18/07/2015 20:39

I am wondering if this is particularly odd for women or not. My dp says he has never been with a woman like it.

OP posts:

pocketsaviour · 18/07/2015 20:58

LOL at catmilk - I thought the same!

OP I have been through cycles with my sex drive throughout my life. When I was in my teens, I wanted it twice a day and if I hadn't had it for 2 days in a row, it was a tragedy of national proportions

Then I started drinking and smoking a lot of weed and that pretty near killed it stone dead for a few years (and nearly me with it.)

When I met my H and stopped drinking and smoking it revived. When we were TTC we both got really frustrated that we could only have sex every other day (as recommended by consultant as his sperm count was a bit low.)

With my last partner it was still very high and I'd have happily had it every day, although our schedules didn't allow for that to happen.

I do now feel that it's waning as I get closer to menopause (so opposite to Wally! ) and now I'm single again I do sometimes think "Shall I haul the rabbit out tonight - nah, can't be bothered, let's have an extra 30 minutes sleep."

Nevergoingtolearn · 18/07/2015 22:34

When I was married I had a very low sex drive, since we split I have become a bit of a sex addict and I want it all the time.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 19/07/2015 06:41

Yes Never, that's another factor in my present excited status.

Like a blockage in the pipes had been cleared

NinjaLeprechaun · 19/07/2015 07:33

I've always had a high sex drive, but I have bipolar disorder so that might explain it.
It actually was a huge problem when I was with my ex because I thought it meant the relationship was healthier than it was. If the sex was good, surely everything else had to be okay as well. Right? Well, actually, no. He was an emotionally abusive jackass, (but the sex kept being good even after we were no longer together. ) I also think he didn't like the fact that he couldn't 'keep up with' me, or that he didn't get to be in charge of making me want sex - or, something.

"I'm approaching menopause so I think my body is urging me on for that last unimaginable baby. "
Yes. I can always tell when I'm ovulating (tmi, no doubt) because of my constant, all-consuming, utterly insatiable, need for preoccupation with sex, which lasts for about 2 days and then goes back to normal.
Either sadly or luckily, depending on your perspective, I'm very single and so don't have to worry about wearing out a partner. Only batteries.

RinkRashDerbyKisses · 19/07/2015 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

debbriana · 19/07/2015 23:06

Oh dear!! I have just found out I have a high sex drive. U thought it was normal. Surely it's not wrong to want sex everyday? And never satisfied even after cunnilingus. I do get frustrated but I can cope without it. Contraceptive implant does lower it for me a bit.

debbriana · 19/07/2015 23:09

Does it mean am bipolar?

Pixighirl · 20/07/2015 08:47

Im exactly the same, im 31 - been with my partner for 16 years (married 12) ang get sulky if he doesnt "put out" every day.

If it was up to me we would be having sex 2-3 times every day.

Ovulation time also causes me an inability to even think about anything else and i find it hard to concentrate! Although ive been told several times over its not normal haha

pocketsaviour · 20/07/2015 19:44

Surely it's not wrong to want sex everyday?
No it's not wrong. It's just part of you, like hating cabbage or liking heavy metal.
Equally, it's not wrong if you only want sex a couple of times a month. People are different.

No of course it doesn't mean you're bipolar!

ohdobuckup · 21/07/2015 18:07

When I was counselling in a mental health service it was interesting the number of times this came up, as many women were repressed about their sexual needs and felt they were odd or 'dirty' for wanting sex so much.

This was way back in the eighties and early nineties(!), when you'd have thought there had been more open discussion about it by then, but there was still a perception among a lot of women that they should not have such strong desires, and it was men who had the high sex drives in the normal course of things.This thread (and site!) would have been a real asset back then.

Amongst my nursing colleagues it was common discussion that most of their men had lower sex drives than they did, especially later in life.

FunkyColdOedema · 21/07/2015 21:16

If the relationship is good, then my drive is high, wanting to have sex 2 times (more if possible) per day, say 4-5 times per week. When my last relationship went south, my drive was low too, I had to try to muster enthusiasm to have sex once a week or so. I thought something was wrong with me medically, it took a while for the penny to drop.

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