impotence help?

[januaryblues11]

my dp is 33 I am 32.

been together for 2 years, always had a brilliant sex life - a normal week at the beginning was 6 times plus. this gradually ebbed to 4 times average which I figured was normal.

He had a vasectomy a year ago and after that would have periods of time where he could not get an erection - either he'd get one but not sustain it, or not get one at all.

in the last month, we've had sex once. many more attempts, where he has not been able to get an erection. Hes really down about it and it's making him depressed. He even said he'd understand if I left him for someone who could have sex

he went to Dr who couldn't find anything physically wrong. said it was unlikely to be the vasectomy. Hes sending him for blood tests to check hormones and gave him a prescription for viagra which I'm not really happy about him taking.

I think it's likely psychological. I don't know how to help him. I love him, I'd never leave him over this but hes down, he feels like less of a man.

any advice?

Why aren't you happy about him taking the Viagra, can I ask?

I remember in a previous relationship this happening and it became a cycle as the pressure to perform became huge, then he couldn't maintain an erection or he ejaculated prematurely.
Have you tried non PIV things to take the pressure off? Just massage, touching, oral, toys etc?

Hey OP, what's wrong with the Viagra? Might help break the cycle of nerves/poor performance/nerves/poor performance.

If you check out the vasectomy threads on health and family planning I am in the same situation.

My testosterone fell through the floor after a second op to help with post vasectomy pain. I had a battle to get replacement as I was 6 compared to the norm of 20. Viagra won't work if testosterone is low. Viagra works when the person has underlying health issues and poor circulation.

You need to get the T checked out. Doctors won't treat if it's over 8 or 9. Normal is 8 to 30. Normal for a 40 year old is around 20. 8 nmol would be for an 80 year old bloke.

My snip didn't go well.

Let us know what his T was

I am now on replacement but also take pain drugs which actually inhibit errections and stop ejaculation.

Testosterone is very important for health. The depression and mood is a sign of low T. Is he exhausted too ?

Sorry to hear that Fuzz

thanks for input. I felt a bit funny about viagra because I remember when it came out, hearing stories about men having heart attacks and that sort of thing. dp is slim and has no heart problems that we know about but I am a natural worrier!

he took one yesterday which worked, seemed to boost his confidence.

fuzz sorry to hear your situation. my dp had bad mental effects from his vasectomy - flashbacks mostly. Hes a deeply private person so I think having a procedure done on that particular of his body while awake affected him.

I will let you know what his t outcome is.