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Original poster

Can a man be aroused but still struggle to get an erection?

38 replies

PorridgeIsYummy · 04/07/2015 00:27

Had my hot date with Mr Gorgeous and it was a bit odd. He talked and acted like he was really turned on, had incredible stamina - and yet he didn't have a firm erection most of the time. Was he just acting like he was turned on when he wasn't - if he was as turned on as he seemed, surely he'd be rock hard? Or was he just nervous?

Argh - it's the second man that's had erection issues with me. For information, I have above average looks and figure and my hygiene is meticulous (in case you're wondering...). Mr Gorgeous never acknowledged that there was any issue at all and seemed perfectly comfortable , I wonder if this is his normal self?

OP posts:
pocketsaviour · 05/07/2015 20:38

Condoms can also cause this, I have met a few men that go soft when they try and put on a condom

Ditto! I refer to this as my married man finder - because they're used to shagging their missus without a condom so they're not used to the sensation Hmm

ALaughAMinute · 06/07/2015 22:13

I've experienced this with 2 men and both times it turned out to be performance anxiety.

Both the men could cum through oral sex despite not having a full erection. The first guy I got really close to and the problem resolved itself after a couple of months of seeing him. In fact, he turned out to be the best lover I'd ever had! I still think of him now, the sexy bastard! Smile

The second guy was also a very good lover, all apart from not being able to get a full erection and have penetrative sex. I remember both times I felt really upset and couldn't help wondering if it was my fault in some way. I needn't have worried though as the second guy later admitted that it was a long-term problem and that he'd been suffering with ED for years, including when he was married to his ex wife.

Don't blame yourself, it's his problem not yours. He may have had this problem for years, or it might not be a problem, and might disappear in a few weeks. You may have to talk about it eventually but I wouldn't put any pressure on him for now. Try a bit of foreplay and see what happens, or better still give him a BJ. You may have to work on him for sometime but there's every chance you will get there in the end. Be patient and understanding but don't whatever you do, be patronising. Good luck.

ohdobuckup · 08/07/2015 22:46

One of my most fun lovers was almost totally impotent, health reasons and age (but only late fifties) had robbed him of his ability to get a full erection , but by god what he could do with his tongue,toys, fingers and thumbs (especially thumbs!..who knew?) was mind blowing.

AnyFucker · 08/07/2015 22:50

performance nerves or a couple of sherries ?

jc12689 · 16/11/2023 13:26

patterkiller · 04/07/2015 09:19

He was an incredibly generous lover otherwise
Wouldn't you rather have this than a rock hard selfish wanker?
Anyway, probably nerves. if it happens next time ask him.

The two things aren't necessary mutually exclusive 😁

WildflowersInAMasonJar · 16/11/2023 13:38

@jc12689

How on earth have you ended up resurrecting a thread from 8 years ago? 😬

DGConsultant · 16/11/2023 17:38

This will seem contradictory, but he probably really fancies you. Thus the messages telling you how good It was. It Isn't uncommon to be so turned on that you can't stay "rock hard". He's probably had a wank before hand, anticipating the fun, so struggled to stay hard throughout. Not a problem with me usually, but I've heard of It happening. Also not uncommon that you are so hard and turned on that you can't come/finish either.

DixonD · 16/11/2023 18:01

DGConsultant · 16/11/2023 17:38

This will seem contradictory, but he probably really fancies you. Thus the messages telling you how good It was. It Isn't uncommon to be so turned on that you can't stay "rock hard". He's probably had a wank before hand, anticipating the fun, so struggled to stay hard throughout. Not a problem with me usually, but I've heard of It happening. Also not uncommon that you are so hard and turned on that you can't come/finish either.

I’m a woman and agree with your last sentence - at least from my own point of view. No idea from a man’s perspective.

FriedOkra · 16/11/2023 18:03

🧟‍♀️ Zombie thread. 8 years old.

Not sure why posters are now telling us that they have no erection issues as that wouldn’t have helped OP at the time, never mind over 8 years later. Any excuse. 🤣

DixonD · 16/11/2023 18:04

FriedOkra · 16/11/2023 18:03

🧟‍♀️ Zombie thread. 8 years old.

Not sure why posters are now telling us that they have no erection issues as that wouldn’t have helped OP at the time, never mind over 8 years later. Any excuse. 🤣

I never noticed! 😂

Let’s hope their challenges were overcome.

DGConsultant · 16/11/2023 18:08

Well, all I can say is that I didn't revivify this thread. Didn't even notice!

VocalFryUp · 16/11/2023 18:10

🧟‍♀️ Zombie thread. 8 years old.

🤣🤣Are they googling for this stuff? How do they find it? 🤣🤣 8 years!

Not sure why posters are now telling us that they have no erection issues as that wouldn’t have helped OP at the time, never mind over 8 years later. Any excuse.🤣

I always think the ones that insist there’s no issues protest too much or aren’t having sex at all. 😬

Zombie thread!*

FriedOkra · 16/11/2023 18:23

Are they googling for this stuff? How do they find it?

Some do google mumsnet for things like this. One bloke admitted to googling mumsnet because he wanted a wank not so long ago. 😵With all the other available material elsewhere, the mind boggles. 😂

Anyway, lets hope OP is all sorted now. 😂

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