he spat in my face

[ummmmmm]

Is this a thing? Do people get turned on by that?

It's a pretty new relationship, we've been seeing each other about 3 months. He's a bit kinkier than previous partners, but after coming out of a long marriage and almost non-existent sex life a couple of years ago, I've been quite happy to try new things. Nothing too out there, stuff like dressing up, sex toys etc. We always talked about stuff beforehand, I've never felt like he's made me do things I didn't want to try.

But this was weird. We were having sex, he asked me to spit on him. So I did, just gently, thinking it was slightly weird. Then he just spat in my face really hard!

I didn't like it at all and it was so unexpected. I haven't told him yet, but I will. I guess I just found it really odd, and a bit demeaning. I'm wondering if we're compatible after all.

Yup, definitely some kind of a thing. Ex wanted to spit in my mouth. Never happened [vom]. Then again, he was also obsessed with the idea of golden showers (let him do it once - never again!) and had that revolting fantasy about smearing seamen all over me and me then going to work like that.

He watched a lot of really bad porn and it's one of the many reasons why he's an ex.

I'm not a prude. Don't mind kinky sex at all - just not demeaning stuff that reminds me of a cat marking its territory.

pocketsavioir I think you're right, and that's probably why I didn't immediately leap off when he did it. But mine was more of a gentle dribble, his was really hard! (sorry for tmi). I'm sure if I had refused to do it, he wouldn't have done it to me.

The porn thing is ringing alarm bells though... I hadn't thought about it being linked to a porn habit. I know he does watch it sometimes, as he asked me to watch it with him and I said no!

To whoever asked, in all other respects he is a perfectly normal bloke and we do lots of lovely non-sex related things together. We also work together, though not in the same department.

I think it's a thing in gay porn. It's supposed to be like that you're both so turned on you'd let each other do anything, iykwim - like spit in the other one's mouth (or let someone spit in yours)! It's supposed to be as sexual for the one that gets spat on as it is for the one doing the spitting. He's obviously seen something and thought "ooh they look horny, I'll try it out". Erm, so you need to have a word! Maybe he can be creative with less 'out there' type things, but talk to you first before trying anything more unusual. Or just politely decline any future invitations from him.

Vile. People used to get fined for spitting on public transport. If someone spat in my face I'd have their knob as a trophy.

Whether or not you liked it is irrelevant. He did something without checking that you would consent to it. Being spat on is an unusual thing to enjoy so the fact that he did it without asking how you felt about t shows 1- violation of your bodily autonomy and 2- a lack of care for your enjoyment
Both dumping offences