patronizing comments at parents evening

[hf2]

i attended parents evening yesterday for my DS, year 8. all his teachers said he was very quiet and needs to be more assertive. but one teacher said he was very quiet, and "can I ask if you sit around the table at tea time and talk". how rude! suggesting my son is quiet and shy because i don't talk to him! he has alsways been shy, and has been encouraged by us to do out of school activities to build his confidence(and yes we do sit around the table and talk). he has been going to scouts for 7 years, regularly attends holiday sports camps and attended a week long photography workshop last summer holiday. he is completely at ease around people he knows well and family. she ended the appointment by saying "from one mother to another can i suggest you put aside 5 minutes a day to talk". i came away feeling very insulted.wanted to know what any one else thought?

Wholly inappropriate! If she had suggested the activities you have mentioned then fair enough but to comment on your parenting (which she is!) is not on!

I probably would have been speechless. Which would have only reinforced her presumption. But, yes, I would have felt very patronised

what a disgusting thing to say. Personally I would think about complaining to the head teacher about it. It is outrageous.

I imagine she see's alot of children who's parents don't say two words to them. I wouldn't take it personally, she is out of order to make assumptions like this though.

I wouldn't want any teacher with so little understanding, empathy and sympathy anywhere near my child. If there was any chance of transferring classes to another teacher, I would ask for that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with shy children, everybody is different. Shy children are usually the most sensitive and clever. What a disgraceful teacher.

Is it possible that she's aware of some issue which she thinks he hasn't discussed with you? Aside from his shyness, I mean. I'd have expected her to come out and tell you if this was the case, but I just wonder if she suspects he's having some sort of problem that he hasn't communicated to you. I agree that even were that the case she's handled it really badly.

I think she's bang out of line.
Speak to the Head.

What a strange thread!

Sheis probably just been on a course where this was mentioned and now thinks she is an expert! Ignore her