To be a latch key child or not, that is the dilemma

[passmyglassplease]

I am a single parent and currently work 3 afternoons, both dcs are in after school club, which works fine.

from september my pfb will be attending secondary school, and I am torn about what to do with her after school.

to allow her to have the key to the flat, (I work locally to the flat about a minute away, so would expect to see her arrive home every day) or alternatively find an after school club for her age group which she is not so keen on!

i would be interested to find out what other parents are doing in similar situations.

I am the same situation as you. DD currently goes to after school club at her school. In September she starts secondary and there is no asc.

DD will be getting her own set of keys. AFAIK there is no asc for secondary age kids near here.

I get home from work around 5ish, so she would only be on her own for an hour and a half at the most. I think she will be ok. She knows she can go to a neighbour or her friend's mum nearby if she needs.

I think I'd be fine letting dd when she's 11 letting herself in. I have a younger ds though so wouldn't do it as I don't trust them to be nice to each other......got a few years to wait until they're that age anyway.
I'm sure your dd will be fine and you're only a minute away so she knows where you are if she needs you.

I think the important issue is how long will she be on her own?

ds2 (11) has had his own key in yr6, but doesn't often have to use it and is never home for longer than 20 mins on his own.

I wouldn't want my boys to be home alone for an hour or more on a regular basis at this age, but it depends on the timings.

At secondary I've found that ds1 (12) often does need to offload about his day when he gets home and it's a good time to chat about what's gone on and what homework he has.

I would anticipate her being home about 4.30 ish and I finish at 6 so potentially she could be on her own for 1.5 hours.

I am comong around to the idea of her having the key, only because my work is so close and she knows she can pop in any time.

I am rather hoping she will use the time to complete the mounds of homework I am expecting her to get!

And then we can relax together over dinner, (if only!)

I was/am in exactly this situation and my DD lets herself in after school on the two days I work. She is alone for 2 hours approx.

None of her friends were in the same situation on transferring to high school as they all had grandparents locally to help out so I felt very guilty about it.

My DD was fine on her own at 11 years old-in fact she loved having the house to herself. I work about 20 mins walk away so she knows she can get to me in an emergency.

She always texts me when she gets in so I know she's safe.

Your pfb will be ok!

She will be shattered at the end of the day to start with so an ASC would be very wearing. My DD just wanted to come home and veg for a while before homework etc.

You are so close if she needs you so latchkey kid is fine. She will probably love the peace and quiet!

Agree with others - my DD (PFB too) had her own key from year 7 and let herself in from term 2, twice/week. She was home for about an hour on her own. She loved it - space to do nothing, little bit of independence, no forced interaction. No problems at all.

It'll be fine. Amazing how fast things change in year 7 - get ready!

i think she would be fine with her own key and a set of guidelines. after all, she COULD leave home in less than 5 years...

She will be fine. By the time she gets in, has a drink, something to eat and relaxes for a bit, you will be home.

DS1 lets himself in 2 evenings per week - gets in around 4.10pm although DH is home about 5 ish. DS1 always rings me at work to say he is home.

Before you go to work, why don't you put something out for her to eat/drink when she gets in, or leave a little note? It's a little gesture that shows you can't be around, but haven't forgotten her and are thinking of her.

I also think this wd be fine as you work so close by. I envy you that bit! You might want to agree some ground rules about whether she can have friends round during that time?

I think this would work splendidly. Culd you get her to come into work after school twice a week and sit and do homework with you, so she's not on her own every afternoon? If not, don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine.

Depending on the 11-year old she may love the gorwn-up feeling of letting herself in and having the house to herself,.