Counselling - will it help?

[Jopeg]

The school is arranging counselling for our daughter (with our agreement). She is bright but has been putting no effort into her coursework for GCSEs etc. (currently sitting them) she is monumentally disorganised, but her teachers cannot get her to open up to them and she is almost deliberately putting no effort in, (recent test where they were allowed to use textbooks was really shoddily done). They wonder if there is some underlying reason, I really don't know. Would appreciate your thoughts...

No idea if it will help jopeg. Is she up for counselling, or digging her heels in? If she's keen, I'd say it's well worth a shot. If not, it's probably a waste of time. I suppose the real question is whether or not it might do any harm? If there is something that's causing her to not put any effort it, counselling might bring it all to the surface, which could be upsetting. But if she's not doing terribly well as it is, maybe it's "at the surface" already?

My gut feeling is that if there is an underlying reason, it's surely best to get to the bottom of it.

BTW I work in a girls' school, and there are loads of them going to see the counsellor every week. It's very common. Most of them seem to feel a bit blue after their appointments, but they all appreciate it long-term.

We haven't told her, don't think she would be keen, I suppose you are right it could help and probably won't do any harm.

She is at an all girls' school - interesting...

You have to tell her! Otherwise she will definitely go as stubborn as a mule and waste her time and the counselor. My only recommendation would be to find out the qualifications of the counselor, and what kind of counselling it will be.
But if she wants to go, then I'd probably let her anyhow.

Yes you are right of course, the school will be contacting us again after the GCSEs I think I will cross this particular bridge then.

Stubborn as a mule - have you met her?

The stubborn as a mule thing, came from knowing how I'd have reacted if my Mum had got me counselling without my agreement. And I was pretty compliant. You can take a girl to counselling but you can't get them to talk.

I really hope she does agree and it helps.

Wondering if it is wise now...

Another mum of dd at an all girls school here!

I only wish her school had been as helpful. They were only ever interested in academic issues. I think if you're not able to get anything out of her yourself, it would be good to give her the opportunity to open up to someone impartial, even if she chooses not to.

I never got to the bottom of my DD's problems and she finally became quite ill and missed a lot of school with an undiagnosed mystery illness.

Best of luck to both of you.

Oh thanks for that TheFutureMrsClooney, hope your DD is OK now.

Fine, thanks, she left school last week and is unrecognisably happy, even in the midst of exams!

Hope you get sorted too.