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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Not only has ds1 had his cash stolen

15 replies

Curiousmama · 20/05/2010 19:32

I went up to the school tonight to hand in some forms and met up with ds1 only for him to say 'notice anything missing?' His tie's only been stolen now! So I went in with the forms and got to speak to the head of year. She was great said she'll make sure they know in PE and also will give him a new tie in the morning.

But tonight I was checking his uniform and getting it ready for tomorrow. He's off with his dad. I notice a mark on the sleeve of his blazer. At first I thought it must be paint but it's more like glue. It's quite large and green. I tried and tried to wash it off but it wouldn't shift. I've got it in the machine now but if it doesn't come off he'll have to go without a blazer tomorrow and probably until I can buy a new one. I have the cash but you may have to order them? He's only year 7 so hasn't had a massive amount of wear I was hoping it'd maybe do him a few months as there's some wear in it.

Getting a bit sick now.

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FlorenceDaphne · 20/05/2010 19:40

I work in a secondary school. I guarantee you that he does not need a new blazer, even with a large green stain on it. Schools are quite understanding about these things! Our kids go around practically in rags. Is it a very posh school?

How has has his tie been stolen?

Curiousmama · 20/05/2010 19:42

His tie's been stolen the same way his money has in PE. He's going to give his cash to his tutor now. His clothes were all over the changing room apparently. It's funny this has suddenly happened when he's got top grades in his exams although may be a coincidence? He's really popular as a rule but sounds like he's being singled out?

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Curiousmama · 20/05/2010 19:44

Oh and his school is very particular so doubt he'd be able to go around with it like it is plus it's unsightly. I may just buy the sew on badge and buy a cheaper jacket from primark or somewhere? Or may even ask on freecycle?

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Pluto · 20/05/2010 19:53

Does your DS need cash in school to pay for a fare home or for his lunch? A lot of schools are moving to cashless systems for lunch to avoid children using money. Is there any alternative to cash to sort his transport home? As far as possible try to keep the amount of money he has about his person in school to an absolute minimum. Once thieves know that X child has money in their wallet or about their person they are a possible target.

WRT the tie - is this a prank or bullying? The HOY will be able to help with this and it may well be his tie will "turn up" somewhere mysteriously. My DS was quite sure his trainer had been stolen but we gave it a week or so and lo and behold it turned up again. I will never know if another child mistakenly put it in their bag or did it out of unpleasantness or if DS's understanding of the word "stolen" is my understanding of the word lost!

Don't buy a new blazer unless you really strongly feel your DS is going to be singled out for the green streak. Many students look a little bit odd in their uniforms at this time of year: they don't fit, the stain defences are no longer up to the job and various items have not withstood the playground asphalt test.

Curiousmama · 20/05/2010 20:05

He needs cash for drinks etc... but you're right I will keep it to a minimum. I hope his tie turns up and that it's all just a coincidence. Of course he's so laid back he's horizontal

I came out of school tonight (he had the dog) and said 'it's ok your head of year said you don't need to wear a tie anymore and just to come in jeans and T shirt' He said 'really!' I said 'nope' He was stood with 2 mates who laughed too they know me though.

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sunnydelight · 21/05/2010 05:26

The cash is obviously an issue, but I'm a bit puzzled that you say his tie has been "stolen". Kids mislay things all the time, if someone was mucking around with his clothes it's annoying but kids are kids, it's not really the end of the world. Stolen implies intention.

You seem to be reading far too much into everything. If I heard a parent in RL saying that her child is having stuff stolen and she thinks maybe it's because he's done so well in his exams (i.e. others MUST be jealous) I would be thinking "what a silly woman, avoid".

Curiousmama · 21/05/2010 08:46

ok sunnydelight but luckily I don't get avoided

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cory · 21/05/2010 08:49

Have to admit that if my dcs' stuff goes missing I assume they have lost it; I'd need some evidence to say it has been stolen.

Otherwise I'd have to accept responsibility for everything that dh claims "someone has taken" at home- which usually turns up in his coat pockets. And dh failed his A-levels, so am definitely not stealing his gadgets out of jealousy

Curiousmama · 21/05/2010 09:04

no doubt it is jealousy to be honest. I hope it is a prank as wouldn't like to think it's going to go on. I have enough to fork out for. He's not the only one it's happened too. One friend had all his spending money stolen at the school trip so someone in his year is doing it.

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gillybean2 · 21/05/2010 09:19

If he got changed for PE, came back and his clothes had ben chucked about, I would say it's most certainly likely the person(s) responsible have also 'hidden' his tie.

That's assuming he has to wear his tie at all times and wouldn't of taken it off anywhere else. So how else could he have mislaid it...?!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 21/05/2010 09:50

At ds1's old school, the boys had to leave their PE kits on racks round the school - they weren't allowed to take them into classrooms or the dining hall, and there wasn't room in the lockers.

It was a well-known 'prank' in the school to take someone's kitbag and move it to another set of racks, or worse, to empty it out, and strew the kit all around the school. Ds1'sw kit vanished twice - once he managed to find all the bits of kit in the various locations they'd been left in, and the second time we had to replace all his kit - and because it was a selective grammar school with expensive uniform, replacing the kit cost around £100. It turned out in the end that his bag had been dumped somewhere really obscure - it did turn up some months later, but by then, we'd already replaced all the kit, because otherwise he'd have got detentions for not being properly equipped for PE.

You had to have indoor PE kit, rugby kit (including the school's rugby socks at £4.50 a pair), a pair of rugby boots and two pairs of trainers - one pair for indoor PE, and one for outdoor. Even buying unbranded trainers at the cheapie shoe shop, replacing all this was hugely expensive, because you could only buy school PE kit in the school's own uniform shop.

I had huge rows with the school about these 'pranks' - I saw nothing funny or clever about them, and felt that the school had a certain amount of responsibility for the costs we had to bear as a result, because it was their procedures and rules regarding where kit could be left that made the 'prank' possible - needless to say I got nowhere with the school.

I'm just glad the boys are now at a more sensible school, where PE kit is shorts/tracksuit bottoms and t-shirt - the only rule being no football shirts - so the kit is far less bulky and can go in lockers or be carried round by the kids, and is far cheaper to replace if anything goes missing.

As for ties - well don't get me started on ties!! We should have at least 5 school ties in the house - but the dses appear to be completely incapable of keeping them. They don't disappear at school - but the house appears to be a black hole for ties. One day last week we could only find ONE school tie - despite my asking the boys the night before to make sure they had everything they needed for school. They assured me they did - but apparently checking that your uniform is all present and correct means assuming you know where your tie is, not actually having it in your hot, sweaty little hand (which is the definition of checking that I've tried to enforce in the past).

GRRRRRRRR

Sorry - tie rant over.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 21/05/2010 09:53

Oh - and blazers - ds2 also went to a selective grammar school in England - with a jolly expensive blazer. He hadn't been there one full term when he spilled custard on his blazer.

Dh kindly decided to sponge it off - nothing wrong there - jolly helpful, in fact - until he decided to iron it dry. Despite being expensive, it was man made fibres - and he melted a lovely big iron-mark onto the front of the blazer - so I had to go and spend £45 replacing it, just before Christmas. He did get a bit of an ear bending for that - especially as, being manmade fibre, it could have gone through the wash and would have been dry by the morning.

admission · 21/05/2010 12:24

The school may well be particular about the uniform and I would always commend a school that wants their pupils to look smart.

However there is a reality here. The blazar was damaged at school and the suggestion is that this may not be an accident but deliberate. So the school cannot be that precious about the standard of the uniform. It does not appear from the posts that son is bothered that the stain is there (why does that not surprise me!) You also have just more than half a term left before the summer holidays and boys have a very nasty habit of growing a lot! Buying a new uniform now is likely to end up with you buying another one in the summer holidays as your son puts on a growth spurt.

I would simply wait and see what happens. If anything develops at school about the stain I would go into school and suggest that they find out how the stain got on the blazer before criticising the elegance (or not) of the attire. The school is not legally able to punish your son about a messy blazer or what their mother has said!

Curiousmama · 21/05/2010 16:31

Well he got a new tie this morning and his blazer (which I washed late last night) dried in time and is ok...phew! Agree I don't think the school can be too fussy considering. Plus they have been good so far?

He didn't 'mislay' his tie...obviously...someone has taken it. Even if they just take it and hide it then that's stealing in my book. Anyway all's well for now although I'm not holding my breath.

I think I was so boiling yesterday as it's one thing after another. Also forgot that last week he came home with one PE sock but they must've been quick if they took/hid that? So had to fork out for new socks.

Dp was looking at a new rucksack the other day that'd be able to take all his kit and books etc... but I daren't get him it now just incase.

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Loshad · 21/05/2010 22:21

he still might have mislaid his tie though, or someone else has it by accident, I've 4 boys, and teach at secondary so a reasonable amount of experience at this - tie ends up (by mistake of either your son, or another child) buried at the bottom of someone else's sports kit bag, or book bag. It may reappear tomorrow, it may surface in a week or a month's time - i really wouldn't start jumping to the conclusion that your son isd being picked on because he is doing well - in such matters cock up is far more likely than deliberate sabotage. FWIW son 1's swim kit once went missing, i bought new trunks, supplied new towel, the original kit was returned (unwashed) a term later, presumably stuck in someone's car boot, chaos pile until spotted.

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