Have I let DD down badly? grammar entry

[cantcarryon]

DD is currently at high ranking independent school in yr5, doing really well and told will have no problem getting into the equally high ranking attached senior school. She really likes the senior school and we had thought that was here settled.

However, there is a highly competitive and ultra sought after grammar in our area - girls from all over the country fighting to get in, girls put down on waiting list for tutors in y3 or earlier, tutored from y5. That includes girls from independents.

We had not been keen on going down this route as hate all the stress for DD of tutoring culture ( have never used it before) and, having seen the school, was not sure if it would duit DD as well as present school. (she is very into the arts, creative writing, acting, drama and the grammar is known for focus on science and maths).

However, this weekend she broke down in tears and told me all her friends were being tutored for this school, including her best friend, and why wasn't she? She has also ben told it is impossible to get in without tutoring. She is now desperate to go.

It is also true that we struggle a bit with the fees, would make life a lot easier if she got into this grammar. We have also been interested in the local comprehensive, not selective but very popular and gets good results, have heard lots of good things about it. Her 2 friends next door both go there so should be no problem getting a place, we are pretty close. But when i mentioned this she got very upset, saying she had seen some of the work her friend was doing (friend is in y7, my DD is in y5) and it was way too easy.

So i just don't know what to do. I will get her in with a tutor if I can as she is so keen, but just don't know if I will be able to find one at this late stage. we have started going through books for V and NV reasoning, which is what the entrance test solely consists of. She has been getting a bit stressed as she does not think she is doing well enough, though getting around 85%.

Have i completely let her down? Just feel I have left it all too late and she will not get a place because i can't get her a tutor.

Please, anyone got any advice?

Most of the kids we know who got in to TGS or TBS were heavily tutored for 2-3 years in advance.

The competition is so intense and the margin between getting in or not is so small that unless a child really is remarkable they need to be absolutely on top of their game and very practiced. What they do when they get there is a different matter. Unless you child is seriously clever and so can, as people suggest, manage without tutoring, I think there is a decision to be made about whether you want to put a child through the process.

After all at the end of it they might be a whizz are good at VR and non-VR, and probably wont get a place (most don't!) and the time might be have been better spent learning French, piano, tennis or even how to play.

You do need an acceptable fall-back, either fee paying or not, and it sounds as if you have, with your child having had the right level of preparation to meet any entry requirements.

This is the point that girls will be panicking, and it will get worse as the autumn term progresses. The irony is that had you pushed your daughter through all this tutoring, she probably have argued against that as well.

Both my kids failed the entrance test, albeit without much preparation though one of them was as low as 600th on the wait list, and she had thought she did well on the day. Both ended up in academic independent schools (state schools our way are notoriously poor), where they can be predicted, based on school league table performance, to get just as good exam results. (We essentially used the Grammar exams as practice for indies - nothing could be quite as intense as waiting for the TBS 11+!)

Sidestepping (neatly)the state/private debate, I don't really understand how these Grammars can be so selective and take only from the very very top of the ability range and not do better than they do. Which suggests that sound hard working kids who didn't play the tutor game may do just as well elsewhere.

(I dont think I expressed myself very well, but hope you understand what I mean.)

Don't panic! It's not true that private tutoring is essential; all the preparation material you need is readily available in bookshops and on line. What you definitely need (as a parent) is confidence and the time to set aside for some regular practice sessions. If you have a go together, you'll probaby see fairly soon how your DD gets on with this sort of test and then you'll be making an informed decision about whether or not to go for it.