13 yr old heroin pusher or childish boast?

[GroveMum]

My 13 year old daughter goes to a high flying grammar school in the London area. Following the threads about St Paul's etc I asked her whether girls at her school felt pressurised and were anorexic, suicidal, driven to drugs etc. She said not(although no-one is fat!), but that a girl in another form in her year had said she could get hold of heroin for them.
At the time I thought it was just a stupid boast but I am wondering if there was something in it and if I should tell the school? School friend of mine died from heroin at the end of 5th form - can't believe people are still ignorant to think it is glamourous rather than addictive, criminal and dirty. I don't know the girl involved and I don't want my daughter to end up being interrogated by the school and having to grass up her class mate - if it was just a stupid comment.

I think that you are too quick to label the child a pusher... What I remember of my own druggy teen years is that we might procure drugs to supply at cost to each other, but we weren't trying to deal regularly, get each other hooked or even make a profit.

Otherwise, yes I'd probably tell the school.... but bear in mind it might make your child into a grass, which might have social repercussions (or she might be less likely to tell you about other gossip in future). Otherwise, I think there's probably some truth in most claims like this, and that it's probably possible at most any high school -- plus kids at "high flying" schools tend to have more disposable income to spend on drugs.

Thanks for your response. From what I remember of my teenage years, parents don't have a clue about what goes on. I think I will keep quiet for now but ask DD if there are any repeats of the offer.

I think it would be realistic to assume that this child can theoretically supply the heroin as there will always be some potential for drugs to be bought into any and every school.

However whether theory and practice can be bought together is probably something else in many such boastful instances.

It might be of future interest to establish exactly what your daughter's schools drugs policy is. Many will not permanently exclude for possession only, it has to be supply. I would however not be keen to take any further action without a lot more evidence than some teenager's boasting remarks.

No, I wouldn't.

Friend of mine was desperate to make friends at school and offered to obtain drugs for other girls - from a friend of her sister's. She was expelled. She wasn't a dealer, just a slightly hopeless, friendless girl. But the school's policy was quite tough. She said it took her a good long while to get over it.

I know that schools have tough anti-drugs policies for a reason, but the chances of that girl being a heroin pusher, at 13 are just slim to negligible.

Whereas the chances of her being excluded are quite high. and I think the reasons for doing so would be misguided.

I'd just keep listening to what your dd says, and intervene if anything else occurs.

I'm not sure that drug "pushers" exist in reality. I mean, drugs are kind of a product that sell themselves.

Heroin is unlikely.

If she was offering to obtain cannabis or m-cat, I'd be worried, but I honestly don't think there's much of a (within school) market for heroin amongst young teenagers.

Given that you don't know the other girl, I can't think of anything you could do. Even if school spoke to the girl, she could simply deny the conversation had ever taken place - she hasn't, after all, actually supplied drugs, nor is there actual evidence as opposed to hearsay that she ever offered to do so...

It honestly sounds like boasting to me, & not terribly convincing boasting, name-checing the most heinous drug she could think of off the top of her head...

Missus84 - i agree with you there. Sloppy usage on my part.

I might be tempted to email the head of year to bring to their attention that you had overheard girls talking about this.

Suggest it is probably nothing, and that it is really not your business, however if there were any truth in it, it would be of major concern and so they may want to keep an eye open. You yourself do not need any response, and you are confident your daughter is not involved and did not "snitch".

If one of two other warning flags have already come up, eg problems with school work, it might be time for the school to dig a bit more deeply and ramp up the pastoral care. (It probably is an idle and boast, but again the girl might have problems at home, have found an unsuitable boyfriends etc etc.) If the school is content that it is silly playground talk then that is for them. At least you can know that you did not stand idly by.

I would not discuss this with your daughter. But would keep the conversation going about drugs, pressure etc.

I am not a teacher, so would welcome a more professional view.

Actually my daughter did mention that the girl involved is tutored 3 times a week but get poor marks in a certain subject - that is the only class they share, so don't know about the others. Seems the poor girl does have some sort of problem whether or not it is indeed drug related, problems at home or specific learning difficulty - I don't know.

Had a look at the school's drug policy on the website -seems to be generally designed to support the girl involved.

I am very reluctant to identify my daughter as the source of the information though.

You cannot approach the school as yourself without notifying them that your child was the source. You do not want to do that. However, if you do not identify yourself, then how can the school take your comments seriously ? They cannot.

All you can do is work on your child's education and hope that they make the right decisions. Obviously if other facts come to light, then you have to rethink.

Why the worry about snitching and being a grass?....surely you have to do what is right. If you truly believe a child has access to drugs and is offering to supply then the need to discuss it openly over rides any need for confidentiality,in the interests of all children

grammar school in london?
they could get ANYTHING... london is chock full of gangs and unscrupulous doctors who will prescribe anything, of course unlikely that a 13yo could get something directly from them but through an older friend or relative easily possible.

i never thought anyone in my family would get into drugs! i found how easy it is to obtain them. a teen can stop one person with their meth script outside a chemist and a whole world of despair could open!

tbh it is always possible to get hold of drugs

When I was at school (around 1980) we were asked to fill in a questionnaire about whether we would know how to get hold of drugs. We all answered yes. This did not actually mean that we had any personal contact with a drug pusher or were in the habit of buying drugs: merely that we had a shrewd idea of where you should start making enquiries should you ever want to.

A friend of mine arriving in Yr 8 spent the first few weeks detailing the results of sniffing thinner (far easier to obtain in those days) in a bid to impress the class. Her experiences may well have been genuine, but she never did any more drug taking in all the years I knew her.