Another year 7 question

[isitwineoclockyet]

My eldest DD started secondary last September & has started having a huge issue getting to the loos on time. She has never had this problem before - not at playgroup, not primary school, & not at home/while we're out anywhere. I know she hates the school loos (older girls smoking, smells, lack of paper etc), but she insists she isn't avoiding using them, just genuinely not having the time to get there. I have tried to makes suggestions as to how she handles it, like planning ahead, thinking about when she can fit extra loo trips into her day etc. I've also suggested she wears skirts not trousers & takes a change of underwear so that any accidents that do happen aren't catastrophic. I'm not sure what else to suggest. As far as I know none of her friends has the same issue, & I have had her checked out for any infections, but the tests were negative. I don't think there are any other issues, as she is otherwise her usual mood-swingy 12 year old self - regularly has friends round, plays in school sports teams etc etc. I know I could talk to the school (though asking her to be allowed to go to the loo whenever she wanted would maybe bring its own problems, if the other kids noticed or she was too embarrassed to ask?) but was wondering if there was another approach that I've missed? I would welcome any suggestions. Thanks.

Can she make sure she always goes with a friend so it's not too daunting having to go on her own. Perhaps get her some tena lady as an interim measure?

I can understand her problem- as a teacher I often struggled to get to the toliet during the school day. I think you are right that she needs to plan it into her day. Gpo at the start of lunch. If she occasionally needs to be a little late for lessons then she should try that. There are choldren who are allowed to go to the toilet whenever needed - they have 'kidney problems'. I am sure most have genuine problems but some like your dd just can't find the time.
I don't like to suggest children drink less as they need to stay hydrated but if she is drinking to excess this may have an effect.

Do you have a school nurse based at the school? Perhaps she could give some advice?

Thanks.

I have already equipped her with some of the little tena lady pads (having first checked they didn't say TENA LADY all over in big letters - imagine the shame if someone found them!)

Oddly, I think it might also help her to be told that teachers sometimes struggle too. I think she feels that she's some kind of weirdo, & even if any of her friends had the same issue they'd hardly be likely to say anything. I think I might ask the school about her being given a bit of leeway at the start of lessons. I think she'd feel less awkward about that than asking to leave in the middle of a lesson. I agree about being wary of saying she should drink less. I don't want her to end up dehydrated & I don't think she's drinking a lot.