Secondary school SHOES

[Enchilada81]

I'm struggling with DS's stuff for september. He's not a "trendy" kid so hasn't got a clue what's in and what's out. We had a drama with the school bag (in the end we settled for a Nike messanger bag wth a tiny logo) and now we're debating about shoes.

I usually buy him Macadam ones (around £15) but DD says he'll get bullied with such 'cheapo' shoes. So I found some nice Ben Sherman slip on shoes for £35 but they look too grown up for him!

There's a lot of stuff about DS that bullies will love, I don't want his clothes to be one of them.

So what do 11 year old's wear on their feet?

"NOrthampton is renowned for shoes"

Dd1 is getting Dr Martens. She wanted the same as me woohoo I'm trendy

My 13 y/o DD1 wears Clarks shoes. With velcro (she is dyspraxic). Never been an issue as far as I can tell. DS is starting y7 next term - I assumed he would have his velcro (or not - he doesn't mind) black shoes from clarks like normal. At the end of the day, my kids all have curly hair, freckles and glasses. If stupid people want to bully them about their appearance they won't have to go for the shoes. Luckily it won't bother the kids.

I am about Y7 boys 'bullying' each other about their footwear unless it's completely outlandish, even with velcro seeing as in reality, not many 11 year old boys can tie laces reliably these days!

However, Y9 girls- different proposition altogether! They examine the nuances of each other's kit with forensic precision!

Dd has got to the end of yr 9 still wearing Clarks Velcro shoes. Her choice.
No bullying, comments from anyone.
She has realised her feet hurt in cheap crappy shoes. They may only cost £8 bot need replacing regularly.

Shoes wise they get something moderately smart black leather and hard wearing that fits their feet! Usually clarks/ startrite/ hushpuppy etc they walk miles and miles every week around school let alone to and from. Youngest bit miffed by this but actually a lot of the girls are inclarks for school tbh. Never had any bullying for it ( even in the boys school). Ds would like trendy shoes but he can go through a £30 pair- literally walk the soles to holes let alone toes damaged by footy- in 6-8 weeks still. ( these are clarks gents sale shoes).

Bras- I wish we could have the tatty teddy type ones!! Dd2 has been in flipping bravissimo bras since last summer when she was just 11- noine else does her size!! My understanding wa no wires till they have mature boobs. M&S say ok to have " soft wires" after a year but I feel that's sales patter.

None of my 3 are "trendy " or hugely popular but we've never had bullying issues at secondary. Ds was bullied rapt primary as a " boffin" though. My feeling, and what I try to tell the kids is it doesn't matter what you do, if a bully thinks your a target they'll have a go for something. Far better that it's your shoes- that you can blame your mother for than your personality/ personal appearance that you can do nothing about ( eg being a boffin ! Or bring ginger or what ever). Find a smart put down and walk away from the bullies head high.

back to shoes just a note of caution regarding the type of shoe, all the school I have worked at have come down hard on shoes. Boots are often not allowed (timberland etc) and a big no no are shoes that look like trainers. I actually fell out with clarks when in there with my DS as all the shoes for his size (7) were styled like trainers; I told the manager that as a HoY I would not accept those shoes in school and someone should be speaking to the designers to make them aware of the issues they were causing!

Our school won't accept slip in shoes. Must have a strap

1st year clarks or equivalent
1st year xmas tantrum re clarks etc
2nd yr onwards argument twice a year
5th year give up

Noddy

DD is after a pair of brogues (Clarkes!) for next year - Y8. Plus her Kickers should still fit. Both are sensible AND regarded as fashionable at her school. She has been very happy with a pair of (Clarkes velcro) Mary Janes this year, and may even opt for a similar pair by the end of the hols!

DS who is still only in Primary is FAR more label-conscious and will only wear either certain trainers or Kickers. Very expensive as he wears shoes out very quickly.

Three DS, youngest in yr7 and never had any issue with standard Clark lace-ups. Living in a small town has it's advantages.