I can't stop crying

[LegendLay]

My son did not receive any of the schools we put him down for, including the 11+ grammar school. They offered him a failing school in bloody Newham. A tough boys school(they would eat my son alive there)I don't care if i'm being melodramatic)

All the schools I put him down for where in Redbridge, where he attends primary and has been from the beginning.

Appealing but I'm so broken. All this stress on top of looming redundancies at work.

Is it too late to apply to other schools in Redbridge? as late entrance?

Has anyone used solicitors to help with the appeal system? I don't have the money, but will have to squeeze it out of somewhere.

I left work early today and just came home and crushed out. I had such awful dreams...I may give bed a miss tonight.

I don't want to speak to anyone on the phone tonight. I feel so depressed and lost.And bitter

I meant to say were not where

I'd contact ACE www.ace-ed.org.uk/ They should be ale to advise you.

how has your ds taken it?

I'm sorry to hear this LL. I would say that it is worth contacting other Redbridge schools: what have you got to lose!? There may be spare spaces because of people turning down places because they are going private or moving out of area. Get in there before someone else does.
Will the staff at the Primary be any help?

I know what you mean about not wanting to speak to other people - it is so difficult if they are happy with their allocation and you are not.

Sorry to hear that.

Are you outside the catchment area for the schools? Because if you're in or very close to the Newham border that might be it.

In terms of the 11+, I know it is super hard to get into the boys grammar so try not to take that to heart.

I'm not sure if a solicitor is the answer really - there must be lots of information ont the net on school appeals and the process.

Thank you so much for support. I have not told son yet. I just can't.

Thank you for the link.

I def will enquire more about putting his name down for other schools.

This is so soul destroying. Months and months of stress, anxiety, hope ...for ita ll to come crushing down. I honestly feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach. Repeatedly.

I'm stunned they could allocate a school that was never on the list in the first place. A school where ofsted/league tables are not good. I think 25% of children leave school with A-C gcse's.

My only crime is living in this shithole and they're making my son pay for it.

I don't have any useful advice, but I feel so sorry for you and your son. I really hope you can find a way forward. I've just been reading in the paper that ACE is excellent and you should go to them first rather than a solicitor.

Best of luck to you.

Thank you hester

LL - if you don't get in anywhere you have applied then they have to allocate you a place somewhere, even if it isn't your choice.

Donn't take this the wrong way but do be a little careful with the formulation of the appeal. I quite understand you don't want your son to go to a rough school but frankly no one does so unless there are extenuating circumstances (eg he has special needs that makes the school unsuitable) then this isn't the grounds for appeal. Instead you'd need to be looking to how the council(s) have misapplied the entry criteria and had, how they applied it correctly, you would have got a different result.

Do you need to tell your son though - presumably he'll be going into school tomorrow and others will be talking about where they got (I presume everyone finds out at the same time there) so he'll find out very quickly there is something you're not telling him.

Thank you Axis. You're very right, I need to put my emotions (which is very hard at the mo)to one side, and look at the entry criteria properly, and see where i'm heading with the appeal.

I feel very lost with all the information, although I have saved a lot of it so I can tackle it at work tomm.

You're very right about telling my son as i'm sure he will know by tomm at school. I know it sounds so weak but i just was not in the right state to tell him today.

Before school tomm, I will let him know but I will be upbeat about it. I wish I had someone to share this burden. I'm alone.

have a look at elevenplusexams.co.uk
they have a forum with an appeals thread. It's free and the advice is excellent, loads of parents on there in the same boat.

Make sure you get on the waiting lists for the schools you would prefer him to go to. People move, some go private etc, so you may get something, as long as you are on the list.

Thank you Claig. I'm already a member at elevenplus. Very bittersweet to think I spent so much time on there prepairing, reading and arming myself with information, only for it all to come crushing down. It is a great site, so I will continue to use it, and will look into the appeal section on there.

Seimum, thank you. That is what i'm planning to do tomm, asap.

Thank you to all who have posted, you don't know how much it means to me right now. Thank you

I agree with putting your sons name on waiting lists for schools you'd prefer. You may not be offered a place until after the start of the Autumn term..but as long as you stay focused and determined there is always hope. People do move away, and usually once people have started thieir DC in a school, they won't want to move them, so you will jump up the waiting lists.

As a member of admission appeal panels I would not recommend the use of a solicitor. Use ACE, use elevenplusexams to get useful advice and then go your self to the appeal or take a friend if you think they will be able to put the case for your child better than you. Parents can get very emotional about it and not actually say what they really want to say.

Apart from the cost of solicitors, most are not experts in school admission law and will simply try to "score points" when actually what you need is a solid set of reasons for appealing. The most impressive cases in my opinion are almost always put by parents who have done the research, checked the details and presented their own case, but I accept that many do need help in controlling their emotions to put forward a good cae..

LegendLay, I could have written your post myself. This is what happened to my son ,they gave him his sixth choice which is an 'academy' and also sports police officers outside the school gates each afternoon. My son would definitely not survive at that school and tbh I dont think I have any grounds to appeal so I will have to call up all the schools and put him on a waiting list. I am also going to look into private education for at least two terms and hopefully do an in-year transfer in Spring.

I found it so difficult to tell my son as we both know that the school is awful. He was in tears yesterday when I told him and I just vowed myself that there was no way on this earth I would send him there. I will just have to find a second job for a while or hope that he can get a place if I put him on a waiting list. I just felt so cheated yesterday, all the preparation and writing of reasons why I had chosen the school only to be lumbered with a school no-one else wants to go to

The other option was to send my son to live with his dad, but I am in London and he lives in Nottingham City which isnt too different to London tbh. In fact I would rather work two jobs than send him there. I sincerely understand how you are feeling, I have been walking around in a state of shock, not knowing which step to take. It is soul destroying. As the others have said it is better for you to tell your son about it. Good luck

By gramner dud you mean Ilford County High. They had in excess of 2000 applications had year I am told. Do the other schools were they Seven Kings and Valentines? If so I believe that they were over subscribed within catchment therefore your chance at appeal is slim as there are lts going for appeal within catchment. Which newham school did you get? I am an ex newham teacher.

Mimiso, I'm so sorry to hear your story, I suspect we are one of many in this nightmare of a situation. It's frighting. I still feel just as raw as yesterday, and I don't think that feeling will diminish until I have a solution is found. I think what you are doing, looking into so many options are great. I will share with you whatever information I findregarding this horrible situation. I have already ordered via Amazon the book recommended, and have been checking sites ect all day long.
I wish you the best, I really do.

squiby2004, yes it was Ilford county. He didn't do too bad but just not enough to get into the top 120.
The second school was Seven Kings, Valentines. The school they offered me in Newham is Rokeby School.
I understand about the appeal, but what can I do? I have to give it a shot, I really do.

I also applied to Forest and Bancroft, but no offers.