Come and slap me or hug, me what ever you prefer. I'm gutted for no good reason.

[LynetteScavo]

DS1 took the 11+, but failed to get into the boys grammar school by a couple of points.

The school he has been offered is lovely...he wil be as happy there as anywhere else.

But I'm guttted slightly upset because he didn't get into the grammar, and won't be able to wear the lovely uniform, and put on his CV that he went to this school. (Unless he goes there for 6th form, which he could)

DH has acted like he was totally uninterested in where DS went to senior school, and truged around open evenings becuse he had too. But he looked like he was going to cry today when we got the results. He hasn't cried since DS1 was born.

It was only a couple of points. So near, yet so far. I'm upset for DH and I, but not for DS, as he couldn't care less.

I would like a hug, but deserve a slap.

?The Grammar tests are not infallible?

I so second this! They are a particular type of test to which not all children are suited ? DC1 cruised through 11+ whereas DC2 (who we and DC1 consider to be brighter) scored about 20 points less.

But DC2 has settled in really well, loves the school and as they set in English, maths and sciences from day, has been pushed every bit as hard as DC1 during Y7.

Dont know if this helps, Ds is in local comp, one cousin is at Tiffins, the other at King Edwards Grammer, all are in y12. They all got equally good GCSE results (in fact my DS did more GCSEs), but only mine is on the Oxbridge programme and is taking more AS exams.

Your son will be in top sets, prefect material (no doubt!) and selected for showing parents round at open days. Teachers love top sets (compared to some other classes) and he'll be more easily known by staff than the middling ability kids (my experience). His confidence will be boosted! Bottom of grammar is hard place to be.

BigTillyMint- you've got my ds to a tee- bright, not competitive- totally disinterested in the whole 11 PLUS.I feel your pain op, and hope there is a new bottle of wine sitting in the fridge for you.
Tis a horrible system, and I really felt for childen today who said they didn't get into grammars when their classmates had. 140 places for over 1400 entrants???

"140 places for over 1400 entrants???"

This is part of the problem. If you were interviewing only three people for a job then you would do your utmost to do a thorough application process to make sure you got the right person. When you get to the stage where you have ten applicants for every Grammar school place then you know that the top 40ish super-geniuses will get in and the next 100 places could be filled by anyone one of the kids from No41 to No341 - they are all pretty much the same. It makes no odds to the Grammar school, so they have no vested interest in ironing out any glitches in the entrance exam.

and of course if you're really sad about him not wearing a blue uniform you could always make him wear it anyway (of course I do realise that it might take some persuading him but it will a good project to take your mind of things).

I was talking to his teacher today, and she senced something was wrong, so I blurted out about being upset, and started blubbing . She assured me he was more than capable of passing, and said I could appeal, but pointed out the comp he will go to values individuals, and I should consider whether I wanted him molded into one particular shape, or to welcomed for who he is.

This is really about me not passing the 11+ many years ago, and feeling like a failiure compared to my older siblings. I just wanted to show my family etc' that I could produce a child who could pass the 11+.

His dad and I both dropped out of doing our A-levels. This boy is soooo going to get some decent A'levels if it kills us!

Chin up, Lynette. My friend's very very bright son went to one of the top state grammars and ended up dropping out of uni (twice) and now works in a bar. He's perfectly happy, just not motivated in that way. Grammar school is not necessarily right for all the kids that are bright enough to go there.

bigtillymint - have you ever been to the tortoise sanctuary in cornwall?

kewcumber...you should not have sugested that to me. I could dress DS up in the uniform, and drag him round town in it, couldn't I!

I feel for parents such as release the hounds when their DC has been top of class and predicted by their primary school to fly through tests etc for selective schools then somehow dont perform on the day. is no allowance made for this seems a bit young at age 11 to have to learn to deal with failure in exams. still guess that is what the SAT system is criticised for as well. some kids are just good at sitting tests it doesnt mean that they are very bright and unfortunately release the hounds may have to seethe but if the system says a score on a paper measures how bright your child is regardless of your or teachers opinion as to how bright your child, it is the score unfortunately that counts. glad we dont have grammars where we are its either state comp or private. at least with sats if a bright kid doesnt perform on the day after a couple of weeks in secondary school they soon sort it out using their own tests assessments etc and kids are more at ease knowing that its not the be all and end all if they dont do well so are more likely to succeed

Thanks busymummy3. This is what I fear - that DD1 may be so anxious re exam conditions that, no matter how bright she is at school day to day, she might always mess up. She's also predicted to breeze through the Y6 SATS, but I'm feeling very nervous about that now!

dd was predicted level 5 on science- came out a 3 in sats. Just went to pieces (it was the first exam)

That just shows how stupid SATs are deaddei.

Yes, they are bollocks.
I have used that word a lot this week regarding secondary schools and the whole horrible experience!!!

I think you deserve a hug and then I'm afraid after that I'd have to slap you.(sad) I'm sorry! Get over yourself! You failed the 11+ - and what has that got to do with the price of fish?? I'm sure DS is a star and all that but he didn't perform on the day and thats what counts. There has to be some form of selection, right?
He will do very well in the school that he has gotten into and you should be happy with that and forget about impressing your friends/neighbours/family. Enjoy him for who he is and stop comparing him to your friends children/yourself (confused)
In 10 years time you will see how it all turns out, encourage him, love him and have fun and he will be a success.