how to motivate son in school please !!

[linconlass]

My ds is in a good state school - yr 8-in pref to grammar as felt wd push him too hard and with his personality put him off.He is in top set exept for maths.School have said that hes suddenly doing less well in some subjects but brilliant in others.He seems to be turning off at geography and in french and in the latter has asked to go down a set as he finds too difficult.Whilst I except that its ok not to be as good in some subjects as others,my DS personality is that if hes not at the top he will stop trying.therefore hes doing really well in english and gets lots of praise so its a positive circle ,whereas in geography his results dropped quite a lot - 79 % in test to 45% - schol said he appeared that he couldnt be bothered to extend his answers- this is leading to further not trying.It seems almost like a self esteem thing to me -he has always hated anything that could be seen as crticsim even when in th emost positive framework .He says nothing has happend at school.He hates it if i look at his homework - just assumes I am going to be critical when im not - hes a self starter and hates oversight.help - any ideas please?

Ooh, I think I have a similar DS. See thread here.

If he is similar, then honestly, I don't think we can motivate them. We just have to keep gently nudging them along.

I keep telling DS that if he does well at school he will grow up to earn lots of money so then he can buy himself lots of toys in adulthood. Sadly, this seems to motivate him!!

I would contact the teachers of the subjects where he is slipping and ask them for suggestions as to how you can help.

In yr8 I think you should still be keeping a very close eye on his homework diary and completed homework, to check he is producing quality work and to insist he is spending time over it.

As far as motivation is concerned, does he respond best to a carrot or a stick? You could set him a specific target of improving his grades in particular subjects by the end of the year, with a promised reward.

Or you could threaten to withhold access to XBox or Playstation or whatever if he doesn't buck his ideas up.

Yr8 boys often do start to slip, but I think pro-active, interested parents can make a difference.

Is there anything he is really interested in that doesnt imediately connect with a job but could for example loves sealfe centres eventually decides to go to university to do biology If he can see a purpose to his learning and learn about something he likes he might be more motivated MAYBE

I have a son now in year 9 - I would take a step back actually!! - In reality he doesn't have to be great at everything unless he intends to do EVERY subject to GCSE - he gets to drop the ones hes less interested in at the end of year 9 - so - if he doesn't like Geog that much - does this really matter in the final scheme of things!

Motivating to GCSE - that's another one!