How do you choose between schools?

[Burroo]

Now that many of the offers are in, in the light of several recent threads (including one of my own) can I ask how have people chosen which school is the right one, or how are you intending to make that decision?
What's most important? Results? Facilities? Atmosphere?
How do you judge whether the school that seems right for your dc now, will in fact be right for the hormonal (not so d) c in 2 years time?
What importance do you give to relative costs (if a private school)?
Is it all just down to luck and/or gut instinct?

Ds has been accepted at a lovely school, it felt so calm when we walked in, there were boys sitting outside reading which was fab, the art teacher appologised for her class being a little noisey as she had left them for a minute and didn't seem annoyed by this so I thought they were realistic, the library was fab, facilities were fab, range of activities/range of lessons were exactly the ones ds really likes (including philosophy!!!), I didn't really look at the exam results to be honest,I have a friend who's children went there, I really respect him and he views the school really highly. My instincts tell me it's the right place for ds. It's not one thing tht makes a school the right one for your child, it's many.

Wish I knew!

We are trying to choose between 2 schools for which DD1 has been accepted, and have just spent the evening discussing which one to go for. There are many differences (e.g. single sex vs mixed), but for us the two most important deciding factors are that one school has offered her a small scholarship, but the other is closer with shorter school days, and would be less tiring.

Aargh! I would be happy for her to go to either school, and think she will do as well academically at both, but we don't know where she will be happier. (And she doesn't either...)

Phone on Monday and ask if you can see each school again. We found that some schools have unpublicised extra tours during the school day to help the undecided make up their minds. And this time you know they want you!

In the end we let our daughter choose. Both lovely schools. And one way of ensuring she would not blame us in years to come.

Yes. We're going to try to visit again, but SO tricky. Do we go fir the nice, calm, private day school where is friends are going, the outstanding, forward looking top of the league tables but high pressure state school, or the perfect fit, gorgeous in every way but financially crippling boarding school. All completely different, all have pros and cons, and me, ds and dh each put them in a different order of preference!

To me high pressure is bad, I trained as a paeds nurse and the majority of drunk teenagers I saw were from this sort of school as they couldn't handle it. As for boarding, you have to do this for years and the fees get higher every year, it's one hell of a committment. It depends on your child though, if they are laid back and calm then look for a school like this but will give them the appropriate kick up the rear end when required. A child who likes targets will do better in competitive school. It's really hard I think, we've made more then ds's fair share of mistakes. I live and hope that his secondary school will be the one where he stays until he's 18 but it's blardy expensive.

As for us, we've already been to each school during the school day, and open day at one school once and the other school twice. I think it really comes down to which of the main issues (time travelling vs scholarship) is more important to DD and us.

Visiting on a school day does throw up some things you don't think about at open days though, like at one we saw how crowded the playground was at lunchtime, and the kids were all carrying bags (turned out they had no lockers). I asked what they did at wet lunchtimes, they said hang around eating lunch then try to get to class early - not great... (Otherwise the school is fab though).

If DD had an opinion I would gladly let her choose - take the pressure off us .

Unknown to us our daughter also talked it through with a teacher she trusted. (Our choice was between two day schools so finance was not a major factor, and academically both schools were similar, but one was busy whilst the other calm, and one was co-ed, the other all girls.) The teacher had no difficult taking her through the options and explaining why, for our child, one school would suit her better than the other.

She is the one who now has to do the longer commute. But is pleased with her choice. The school is fab, for precisely the reasons the teacher had outlined.

It's like buying a house - you walk in and something feels 'right'.

ajandjjmum I do agree. When we went round open days initially, one was my favourite after looking at the web site but after visiting it seemed too posh and I thought we'd be the poor relations. Another seemed dominated by the boys, and I just didn't see my DD's there.

However, we found 2 schools that felt right...

Now that would be a problem. I do think it's a good idea to chat (if you can) to some of the students in the upper years. It's important that they are encouraged to become rounded people, as well as obtain the best results they can - I think! It's nice when teenagers can hold a conversation with you.

Works in theory, and obviously for many people in practice too; but our fear is that of our 3 options the one which really does feel right in every single way to us and to DS, is the one that would be a real financial struggle (2 others that would have been equally as good didn't offer him a place). The remaining 2 options are both good schools (1 very good) but are so completely different in every way that we are really stumped. We are going to see them again but it may come down to tossing a coin! Tempting to let ds decide, but as his initial reaction to one school was that he didn't like it, only to change his mind when he heard that his current best friend was going there, I'm not sure that he's the best judge!

Would it be worth checking with the Bursar what the school policy is regarding financial help, if it becomes necessary in the future?

We didn't pay any attention to cost when selecting - some time ago now! - but really feel the strain currently. Having said that, we wouldn't change the decision we made, because we really feel the school has contributed to making our dc the (mainly!) great people they are growing into.

Don't envy you.

I let my daughter choose which secondary she wanted and she chose the shiniest, newest, supposedly flagship school. I was never happy about her choice and wanted her to go to the faith school she would have naturally been accepted into.

Long story short - she started the school and it was like the army! Parents had no say in anything, trips were deemed compulsory yet had to be paid for (I didn't send her and didn't pay). No security in school, mass detentions and very bad bullying despite good Ofsted report and hyped up parents evening.

Halfway through Yr 8 a boy in her class attempted to stab her in the leg and just missed because she moved so quickly. He had brought the scissors into school with him, as he did regularly according to his friends, and when I saw the head of year was told that he was playing around they would try to ensure my daughter had different classes.

The move to classes did not happen and I was told he was not dangerous, they would not exclude as this was their policy etc. Two months later he tried to stab her in the neck outside a classroom whilst waiting for the teacher. She just caught a glimpse of the scissors and edged away but he ran after her down the corridor and she fell over.

Despite this horrendous incident and the fact that I involved the police and it was caught on CCTV the deputy head refused to do anything other than move him cross a band. My DD was ill with worry, off school for 6 weeks and she loves education. The school insisted that although my DD is gifted and talented they would not elude him. I had to move my DD to the school I had wanted her to go to and she loves it!! The teachers are supportive, welcoming and happy to listen. Merits are given out where due and the pupils are well behaved.

My DD told me that she wished she had listened to me and my gut feeling. All I can say is talk to parents who have kids at the shcool you like, talk to the primary teachers and ask where they are sending their child. Speak with children who go to the school when they are not in the school and being told what to say.

The newest, prettiest school is not necessarily the best, sometimes the ramshackle but caring school is better for the child's development all round and if the child is happy they will learn.