What on earth should I do? Sorry - bit long

[TiggyR]

My DS is in Y10. Like most 15 year olds he can be a bit loud and lary, or come across as a bit a bit sullen and insolent, but generally he is a bright and well-behaved boy who has never been in any trouble at school, beyond the odd detention.

Long story, but today the art teacher was having a general rant to the whole class for something or other, and he mistakenly thought my son was laughing, which he wasn't. (He just had 'train track' braces fitted yesterday and they feel a bit weird so he was stretching his lips back in a sort of smile-like grimace.) The teacher completely lost it, grabbed him by the clothes and slammed him against a desk, started shaking him violently and shouted really loudly and aggressively in his face. My son pushed him off, and he grabbed him and did it again. He told him to get out of the room, and when my son went, he told him to get back in, and not to walk away from him! He carried on his tirade in front of everyone, told my son he was a worthless piece of dirt and from now on he'd treat him as such. (yes, really!) Then he followed him outside, with his GSCSE coursework (a piece of painted pottery) in his hand and threatened to smash it on the floor and told him it was crap. The whole class was a bit shell-shocked.

My son was devastated and went to tell another teacher. Then several teachers all came to see him independently to find out what had happened, and he was asked to see the head and the deputy head. The other kids were asked by the head to write statements about what happened. It appears they were all totally bewildered by this unprovoked reaction, and all concurred that my son did nothing. My son said all the other teachers were very supportive and no-one tried to suggest that he may have asked for it in any way, but even if he had it's clearly unacceptable.

The Dep Head found me at the school gate and said that the matter was being handled, taken very seriously, and he'd talk to me about it when things were a bit clearer. He approached me voluntarily, and as I had only just been told by my son I was a bit shell-shocked, so didn't say much.

The thing is, this teacher is a good teacher, who gets results, but he has a hot temper and has done a similar thing before to another boy, a couple of years ago - they all still talk about it!

I know teaching can be incredibly stressful and teenagers can be hideous and highly provoking, but this is not a 'challenging' school with enormous classes and little parental support. In fact is the very opposite of that. So I can't beleive his stress is worse than any other teachers. I don't want to go in all guns blazing and insist that the man loses his job, but neither do I want to be a pushover, which is my default setting in these situations. I'm too understanding for my own good sometimes! Plus, my poor son has to continue with this teacher for his GCSE Art as he is the only one who teaches it.

What would be the norm in these situations in terms of disciplinary action? I feel like his fate could lie in my hands depending on how much of a fuss I make, and I really don't know what to do. Plus it's a (whisper it!) private school so I can't take it up with the LEA.

I don't know at the moment, but for what it's worth here is the full run-down according to my son:

He mucked up the painting on his pottery so he asked the teacher if he could paint it over in white and start again. Teacher said yes.His friend then starting randomly swirling paint over it in silly patterns becuase they knew it was going to be re-done anyway.

Another boy defaced someone else's work with a blob of paint for a joke.

The teacher started his rant to the whole class saying he was fed up with them spoiling one another's work on purpose, not taking the work seriously etc.

My son unfortunately picked that moment to 'pull a face' due to his uncomfortable new brace, which the teacher misinterpreted as him smiling/laughing.

He started shouting at him, saying 'You want to laugh at me do you? Go on, laugh at me, Laugh then!'

My son was genuinely confused, so he just said 'Why?' (but it possibly came out in a bit of a narky way!)

The teacher started screaming 'Why what? Why what? Obviously the answer should have been 'Why, Sir?' but under the circumstances my son was a bit dumbstruck!

Then he grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him into a desk, and started shaking him hard and shouting in his face, calling him offensive names etc. My son wrestled him off, and shouted 'Get off me!'

The teacher then grabbed him and started again. Told him to get out. He went, but was then told not to walk away!

The teacher said 'Your a stupid/worthless piece of shit (or something, can't remember exactly) and from now on that's how I'm going to treat you.'

Then he sent him out of the room again, grabbed his pottery, followed him out and said 'See this? This is crap. I'm going to smash on the floor - that's what I think of your work.' (Again, that's not verbatim, but it's the best I can remeber it right now.)

My son walked off, upset and found another teacher he could confide in, and the rest is as I said before.

Tiggy, I teach in an EBD school and often have kids screaming abuse in my face. If I reacted as you outlined above, I too would get suspended and rightly so.

I think the teacher has crossed a line, and the school has recognised this.

In short, it is academic as to whether or not your son 'deserved' it; it is unacceptable professional conduct on the part of the teacher.

Thanks everyone, I think it's been very useful for me because it has helped me see that his fate is not in my hands. Which I would find very hard to live with. although I know he did wrong, I have great respect/empathy for teachers and think they have a tough job, even in schools like my DS's. God knows I've wanted to punch my son often enough! I know that irrespective of how I feel he will be dealt with as the school sees fit, and that is not my problem, or my responsibility to see justice meted out. But I do of course have the option of involving the police if they choose not to. That's my trump card, but my gut feeling is that I will not use it. I know he's a good teacher in spite of all this. I would insist on a face to face apology for my son. But if the school choose to sack him/involve the police it is their decision based on what they already know of him, and it is not to be on my conscience.

there is no excuse for the teacher, sure your son is a bit of a lad and mucks around but that is quite normal and the teacher's reaction is way over the top.
Unfortunately for the teacher he cracked, it must be a build up of stress in and out of school, but there is no excuse for him in his professional position of responsibility.
He is obviously too volatile and cracks too easily, he is very likely to do it again and the outcome could be far more serious.

If you remember just before Christmas there was a teacher who cracked and hit a boy with an anvil, the police and ambulance were called and the teacher was arrested. Nobody at the school could believe the teacher had done it as he was a very good teacher, well liked by all of the pupils. Human beings do sometimes crack like this and there is sometimes no obvious explanation.

Anyone who cracks like this is a danger to the pupils.