DS will be a bit of a target I think

[GreatForest]

My DS is due to start secondary school next september. I'm worried as he isn't like the other boys. He doesn't like football, wrestling or anything like that. Couldn't even name a footballer unless it was David Beckham (and that's only because he's always on tv).

He's an aspiring actor, very OTT and eccentric. A bit girly (in the kind of way that would be cool a few years down the line at university!) and he's a bit of a nerd (and looks like one with glasses etc).

Don't get me wrong, I love the way he is and I'm very proud of him but I think he will be targetted. He will be going to an inner city comp. Not the worst school in the world but not the best either.

Please assure me...

My middle nephew is a non sporty, actor type, and the good news is that he is very popular at secondary. I think it helps that he is v involved in the am dram group outside school, so was already well known to lots of older kids (and especially girls) which gave him some status.

Yes he is excited about being able to join the drama group as primary school have nothing like that at all.

He's not popular at primary at all. He has a few friends but nobody he is especially close to.

I think another good thing about secondary is the dinner time clubs. At primary he is left wandering the playground on his own as he refuses to join in with the football that everyone else plays.

In secondary he can leave them too it and join the computer/drama/chess clubs etc

My cousin is like this and had a hard time at primary but thrived at secondary I am sure he will be fine.

I agree with CWWM, secondary school could well be the place where he really comes into his own as the school seems to have lots of clubs suiting his interests which his primary school did not have.

Be optimistic, this will be the start of an exciting new adventure for your DS!

Secondary is a whole new ball game and it really brings out personalities - there will be other kids with similar interests to your son and lots more opportunities to follow stuff he enjoys and is good at such as drama as opposed to the sports element that dominates males in primary.

If he can chat to the girls he will ALWAYS be popular.

Theres a place for everyone in this world and im sure he will fit in great- stop worrying its months til Sept!!!

I wasnt gonna say this but will,ds2 is at secondary he wears glasses and looks quite geeky,he also has m.e/cfs and looks very pale BUT hes as hard as nuts very popular with the girls has loads of friends and gets on with the teachers (even in his moments of badness/exclusions)- why? cos hes confident and good with the gab.

I'm sure he will be fine, he sounds very confident and I think it's great that he has his own individual style!

He gets on better with girls now, always has done. He often takes it upon himself to try and 'sort out' bitchy arguments between girls in the playground lol

He does karate so I suppose he always has a bit of a back-up plan. I just hate him being laughed at all the time.

My ds is the same is 15 now and has never had any negative remarks V actory and eccentric and wouldn't know anything about football He nce asked if manchester utd was in england .He has some seriously rugger and footy friends and they all love him.Let him be himself he sounds great

Sounds like my dS1. It is really hard for boys if they do not like football. It is very oppressive in primary school.

It is very heartening to hear that he may well find it easier at high school. i had forgotten about the lunchtime club thing.

Not neccessarily. DS#1 dosn't care for football or any other sport. He does skateboard though but that is seen as a bit nerdy oddly enough. He has long hair and wears skater-type clothes. He had the p* taken about the hair but not for long.

The football thing just becomes irrelevant in secondary ime. DS was never interested in footie either but does rowing at school and karate & fencing outside.

Your ds will be spoiled for choice with all the clubs. Lunchtime clubs are a great idea, it means they don't sit in the library alone if they're too shy to join in with a bunch of strangers, and it's a great way to meet people who aren't in their form but have similar interests.

Does your ds play an instrument? If so there'll probably be orchestras, rock bands, jazz bands, loads of stuff.

Greatforest- that boy that you describe is my son. Every last detail is my boy.

Can I just ask- has he always been like this?

Ds2 is 7 and is just completely different to his peers (apart from teh female ones).

I am concerned about how he will be accepted over the next few years, Im terrified of him being bullied for the way he is and kid myself that it wont happen as he has an older brother!!

If he was 15 years older he would be described as 'effeminate'.

My nearly eight year old is camp as Christmas. Jazz hands, big Monroe fan, loves Mama Mia and dressing up. He also plays an important role sorting out arguments and being peacemaker amongst his girlfriends.

I've worried about him in the past but he seems to be doing just fine. He has lots of friends but I equally I think one or two very good friends is just as acceptable.

I always thought my ds would have a better time at secondary because he's more likely to meet kindred spirits.

I wish you and him all the best. It can be quite worrying I know.

My ds also skateboards and many of them are v butch!There was a fancy dress party recently theme films and all the boys were going as big macho things arnie style etc and ds insisted on going as aladdin inc pantaloons and fake tan he was totally blase about it!I have put a pic of him on my profile He isn't gay though and is desperate for a girlfriend!

He sounds like lots of the boys at my DC secondary school, many of them do drama, dance (street type dancing) play musical instruments and hang around in skinny jeans with long floppy hair, some seem very popular with the girls.
They look like they are having a good time, I suppose it depends on where you live and what the other kids are like.