How to persuade dd to do this workshop

[NervousNutty]

The secondary school dd will go up to in Sept, always runs a summer workshop for the new starters.

It includes a day trip and other bits and bobs for £30.

Today Dd has come home with a letter offering her a place at a slightly different workshop for gifted and talented pupils. She has to write a statement explaining why she thinks she deserves a place and then 20 new yr 7 pupils will be selected.

If she gets a place it is free.

I want her to do the gifted and talented workshop, and she doesn't want to do either.

Still think she should have gone to the workshop she wanted to. AND chosen the instrument she wanted to!!!!!!

I think so too, Seeker.

while an 11yo can't know a lot about secondary school before she gets there- frankly, unless you're a secondary school teacher, neither do you

I have found I am a very good on subject-specific matters and on general inter-people relations, but when it comes to school dynamics dd knows more than me- because she knows her contemporaries and I do not

so we listen to each other, works well for us

Well I disagree. If it were up to dd she'd have done neither workshop, and from speaking to other parents who's children have done them, they are worth it and the children get alot out of them.

I don't see why it was unfair of me to make dd compromise.

Think you've done the right thing - win win. It is always easier to shy away from the unknown and go along with friends. You don't know whether she might get this opportunity again so why not take it up now.

So at what age does she get to make her own choice?. I think at some point soon you should trust her to make her own choices, discuss the options with her and after her considerations respect her decision...Pick the decisions/ battles you wish to win, and they will gradually reduce over the years and she will be a well balalnced young lady, if you keep bribing/ making decisions for her then she wont have any confidence in her own ability to know what she wants and wont have the faith in you to allow her to grow up

Why should G & T be free and the other £30.

I think the G & T stuff is funded by the govt