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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Single Sex Schools - Better, worse, no different?

21 replies

Bomper · 24/03/2009 19:52

My ds and my niece are both starting secondary school in September and are both going to single sex schools. This is just a coincidence and we both picked the schools for other reasons but I was just wondering IS it better or not to go to a single sex school. A Headmaster at another school we looked round that was also all boys said Yes, boys work in a totally different way to girls and therefore being a all boys school was an advantge, but then he would wouldn't he? What do you think?

OP posts:

Original poster

Bomper · 24/03/2009 19:53

Apologies for the awful typing!!

OP posts:

spongebrainbigpants · 24/03/2009 19:56

There is alot of research to say that single sex schools are much better for both sexes than mixed schools as girls and boys do learn in completely different ways and single sex schools can make allowances for this in a way that co-ed schools can't.

In fact some co-ed schools are now starting to split the genders for particular lessons like maths and science, with fantastic success.

Having said that I went to an all girls' school for two years and hated every bloody minute of it!

Different strokes for different folks . . .

GColdtimer · 24/03/2009 20:04

I went to an all girls school and think I probably got a better education because of it. But then I have nothing to compare it to. We did have a mixed 6th form and it did change the dynamic in lessons, but that could have been because we weren't used to being mixed. I would have no problem sending DD to an all girls school.

However, my DH went to an all boys school and hated it - too much aggression and testostorone without the girls to temper it down. He was much happier in a mixed school. If he had a son, he would never send him to an all boys school.

Not sure that help much

spongebrainbigpants · 24/03/2009 20:12

That's interesting two, cos I would never send any daughter of mine to an all girls school (bitch fest IME) but would have no problem with sending my son to an all boys school!

Shows how much our childhood affects our parenting - which is obvious really!

GColdtimer · 24/03/2009 20:20

That is interesting. I suppose our school could be bitchy, but a lot of it passed me by. Also, I was always grateful that we weren't all squabbling over boys!

As you say, our experiences totally affects our parenting. It makes it hard to be objective about some of the big decisions though doesn't it?

Blottedcopybook · 24/03/2009 20:21

I agree with spongebrain - I went to a single sex school for high school and it was so cliquey and bitchy. Obviously there wasn't the distraction that boys provide, but other than that I honestly can't think of a single benefit to me. I hate hate hated it!

foxytocin · 24/03/2009 20:26

i work in an all boys secondary and love it. don't miss teaching girls. i think it keeps our boys immature a bit longer but nowadays i don't find that necessarily a bad thing. in fact it is kinda sweet. Stop me. I am getting nostalgic about work. i am on mat lv.

i took dd in today and even some big yr 11's came over to see dd2 and 'aaaawwww' at her. i like that about our boys.

i went to an all girls and think it was a good thing. we were encouraged to think for ourselves more and we competed hard against each other. I went to a mixed 6th form and found i had a healthy disrespect for boys and men.

scrooged · 24/03/2009 20:27

Ds used to go to a all boys school (for about 2 minutes!), IME, boys need girls to normalise them and calm them down. Boys get hyper easily and girls have a calming influence on them. I wouldn't send him back to an all boys school.

AMumInScotland · 25/03/2009 09:50

I thought about this when looking round independent schools, and all I can say for certain is that the academic results for girls and boys were just the same between the co-ed school we looked at and the joint-primary-linked-secondaries school. Both these schools are actually part of the same group, and had virtually identical intakes.

But what I don't know is whether there were differences in the subjects the boys and girls chose to study for exams - I've heard that girls in an all-girls school are more likely to carry on with subjects like physics, whereas it's often seen as a "boy's" subject in mixed schools. Ditto boys carrying on with music.

So if your child is likely to be interested in a subject like that, and likely to give way to social pressure not to carry on, then maybe a single-sex school has advantages.

mimsum · 25/03/2009 13:55

one of the things I love about ds1's all-boys school is that the y7 boys play at breaks - they run around, play tag, patball, football - just think of a load of puppies and you won't be far wrong

however, a friend of his goes to a mixed school and he says breaks are so boring because all the kids do is 'hang out' and chat - it's not 'cool' to rush around and play

I think the boys at single sex schools are probably 'younger' than boys at mixed schools, but hey, imo that's no bad thing

CharleeInSpring · 25/03/2009 13:58

I went to both and did 10x better at a mixed sxhool, im my experience girls at an all girls school are bitchy and cliquey, where there are boys there it defuses things and makes it easier for the childer (ie me) who find it harder to fit in.

DP also went to an all boys school and hated it, there was so much testosterone flying about that there was an awful lot of bulling and 'laddish' teasing.

We still live near the 2 single sex schools and i would rather HE than let my boys go to any single sex school.

notagrannyyet · 25/03/2009 14:11

Mimsum I have a yr 7 DS in a co-ed school he runs around, plays tag, football, etc....sometimes with the girls!

There was a thread on this a few days ago.

I would be one of those who would want the best of both. If I had a young DD I would want her at an all girls school. As it is I have 15, 13 & 12 yr old boys and no way would I consider sending them to a single sex school.

Takver · 25/03/2009 14:42

I went to a single sex girls comprehensive, didn't find it bitchy or cliquey, for those who did, were you at state comps or single sex private schools, I have a suspicion there might be a difference?
There was a move when I was about 14 to make the school mixed, and I would say 90% of the girls in my class were against.

cory · 26/03/2009 11:09

Personally, I am happy that both mine will be going to mixed schools precisely because (some) boys and (some) girls work and learn in different ways. I don't think you can succeed in today's working environment if you haven't learnt to be adaptable enough to take on different working styles, rather than just sticking to whatever suits you best. And learning to cooperate with the opposite sex is going to be a big part of any working experience.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 26/03/2009 11:14

FWIW my DD1 is in the top maths set in Year Seven in her school and she says the girls in the class considerably outperform the boys. The same appears to be true in her science class. I get no sense as yet that maths and science are seen as boys subjects and from what I have seen of older girls at the school that doesn't change as they move up. I wonder if this girl/boy subject thing is a bit of a myth.

Karam · 26/03/2009 12:22

I have taught at both mixed and single sex schools. I think there are real benefits to single sex schools. Yes, I did teach very differently when I was at the girls' school. Lots more project work and things like that. But also, I found that the girls did more of the traditional boys things. For example, lots of girls had drumming lessons and the school had a very strong science dept and science club. Because there were no boys there, there was no illusion that these clubs were really for the boys - At a girls' school, drumming lessons are provided for girls and so they took them up and thrived! I also found that the school was more 'emotional' lots of talking through feelings and a lot more emphasis on PSHE and the like. They also used to walk around a lot with hot water bottles when they had period pains! (Yes, this was a state girls' school). You'd never see things like that in a mixed school.

However, there were downsides to it too. The fights over boyfriends were another thing. It was always another girl had nicked the boyfriend, never the bloke's fault and boy could they catfight! It was almost like the lads were put on a bit of a pedalstool. However, this soon changed when they were in the mixed sixth form - the girls always used to moan about the immaturity of the boys - and despite spending the whole school looking forward to being in a mixed sixth form, soon wished that they were single sex again when they had lessons with the boys! They actually found the adjustment really easy tbh and never had any immaturity about being near boys or so on - they just got on with it. So the argument that they can't cope with the other sex when they meet up again is a spurious argument in my experience - I never witnessed any problems of that sort at all. HTH

Ivykaty44 · 26/03/2009 12:25

I really loved being at an all girls school, looking back it was rather good that it was female only

My eldest dd started at all girls and then moved to mix and it took her a while (2 years) to settle in with the fact of boys in the class.

Ivykaty44 · 26/03/2009 12:28

My dd found it much more of a bitch fest at the mixed school than at the all girls, she really struggled with some of the girls and just how nasty they were to each other.

I had not experianced this either and had thought it was also due to me having attened a single sex school where the girls were not bitchy. I had assumed the bitchyness started due to the boys being around.

AtheneNoctua · 26/03/2009 12:54

I absolutely get my knickers in a twist when I hear teachers talking about how boys are good at math and girls like to read. There is not a shred of truth in this for me. It be be genreally true in the greater population. But there are individuals for whom this attitude will not be helpful. I believe my DD is one of them (probably inherited/learned this trait from me -- I'm inclined to think inherited). Anyway, I think it's a load of crap for us. So, I active encourage to take an interest in the "boy" subject because I think it is unlikely that the school will do this. Overall it is a good school and I like it. But, this "math is for boys" thing really grates on my nerves. Oh well. We have just found Kumon. So, I believe the subject is covered now.

Anyway, i prefer co-ed schools for her because if boys are going to be favoured in math and science I want her to compete with them in school. I don't want her to get a false sense of security in school and then find out out after school that the real world is a bit tougher than she thought and she's not prepared.

I believe the math and scienge largely form the foundation for the skills that are sought and well paid in the business world. Playing with Barbie is a waste of time. Learning to build a railroad is a potentially useful skill.

webwiz · 26/03/2009 14:25

All three of mine attend a mixed school and I didn't like the idea of all the girly project work on offer at the girls school my DD1 would have hated it. We have never come across the attitude that science or maths is for boys - DD1's friend has a place at oxford this autumn to study physics and there is an equal mix of boys and girls in both the A level maths and english classes. DD2 is a natural mathematician and was top of the year in her year 11 mocks. She plans to take maths and further maths A levels. In fact some of the girls in DD2s year are so capable that I worried that they favoured girls but DS is in year 7 and I haven't found that to be the case. We went to a music and dance show at school last night and plenty of boys were willing to dance and there were girls in the samba drumming group. Maybe it is partly down to schools to ensure that they encourage boys and girls to take up the full range of opportunities available to them.

Cosette · 26/03/2009 14:40

One of the reasons I was keen to send both my DDs to a girls' school was because they are good at maths and science. My belief is that building up confidence and interest is really important at their (secondary school) age. In a mixed sex teaching environment, boys are much more likely to dominate science/maths lessons and participation. This makes it harder for girls because they don't like to be seen as pushy/geeky etc in front of the boys.

Being in a single sex environment means there is an automatic assumption that girls will participate properly (as there are no boys in the class to do it for them).

As for when you get out into the real world - well the key there is confidence in your own abilities, and knowledge in your subject, all of which should ideally be developed at school.

I ended up in a career in IT by accident - hated science/maths at school (state co-ed), and didn't select any at O or A level that I didn't have to. I love my job now, and am glad that I found it, despite not realising at school that I had a real aptitude for it.

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