Clueless in West London - Private Secondary school advice needed please for DD and DS

[joshhollowayspieceofass]

I'm utterly clueless about the private school system.

I didn't grow up in London, and niether did DH, and neither of us, or any of our family have ever been in the private school system.

However, we are in a position financially to put both DD and DS into private school once they reach 11. Although the preference would be to put them in a decent state secondary, it doesn't look like that's going to be possible.

They will go to local state primary school because we believe in it, and we are in the catchment area for one of the best state primaries.

They are both still so young, but I feel like I need to start getting my head around where would work for them and us when the time comes. It all feels a bit overwhelming - the great unknown.

Ideally, we'd want them in a co-ed school. Also, and I know this may sound ridiculous to some of you (!) but I'd want them in the kind of school that didn't smack of old style public schooling. Somewhere that had the best possible mix of people given the obvious class and social restrictions of private schooling. I can't bear the thought of a bowler hat and a pin stripe blazer...which is terribly inverted of me, but there you have it.

I realise a lot of this is down to the fact that I don't want to feel like we are outsiders - not having come from generations of public schoolers.

Anyway. Ramble over.

How can I start getting to grips with what schools are available, whether it will matter that the DC's aren't coming from a "feeder" school, and whether they are going to suit who we are as a family.

TIA.

alswo meant to say these schools are all quite different so you can see how your children develop and wehat kind of thing will suit and then decide which ones to apply to - go and see them several times - it mkaes a huge difference

but the short answer is there are good schools out there so dont worry!

That's terribly rude donnie.

Sometimes you have to start investigating in the private sector yonks in advance (unless you're laid back like Orangina )

And fwiw I think you're right about CCS. Changed my name for anonymity but I know the school and if I were you I'd be considering private secondary too.

Thanks Mitty - I had thought that would be the case re the coaching, and I appreciate all that helpful info.

The point is I know nothing, and that I'm giving myself a few panic attacks about it. I KNOW it's ages away, but I also know that if you don't know the processes, application procedures etc, you can miss the boat. SO - for some peace of mind, and to feel like I had some sense of what to do, and where to start when the times comes, I started this thread.

Of course I don't want to pay for DC's education if I don't have to. But what if I feel I do? I'd be an idiotic mum not to have done my homework.

And yes, DS is 18 months, but to site that is being obtuse. The point is DD starts reception in September. So she's in school as of this year.

Cite....doh!

I clicked on this thread partly because my nephew goes to Latymer Upper (which he is doing v. well at by the way and getting involved in absolutely loads - dsis is very happy with the choice) and partly to satisfy my own belief that you can never have a sensible discussion about private schooling on MN without some MNetter absolutely determined to kick off an argument about private v. state.

Good for you for standing up for yourself, joshholloway and refusing to get drawn in; thank you donnie for proving the utter yawnsome predictability of this site sometimes.

Thanks Slayerette - It's like some people are just determined to believe that there can't be a reasoned and intelligent person on the other end of an OP. Like I haven't wrangled this over and over in my head a million times. Either that, or they are just noodling around looking for a ruck to entertain them on a boring afternoon.

Seems you have to write you entire life history and thought process with a hundred disclaimers in an OP these days or else get sniped, fired at, and generally have your credentials as a human being undermined.

I can hear the sound of a door slamming behind me - I shall make sure it doesn't hit my arse on the way out (to quote someone on here)

Hi I used to live very near to Chiswick and IME a lot of parents in that general area transfer their children from state to independent at secondary level due to their concerns with the state secondary schools locally .
The independent secondary school I would recommend is Latymer Upper School, I know a few kids who attend and they are very bright kids who didn't seem under presure but still worked quite hard.
For girls I've heard Godolphin and Latymer is pretty good too.

Thanks Sleepyeyes.

I'm in the same area with the same questions - although it sounds as though you are getting into a better primary!

I've found talking to other mums is useful, but as someone else has said, so much may change between now and then, so if you're thinking about putting your DC's in at 11, who knows, maybe there might be a state school that comes good in your area by then. If not, you have plenty of good private options close to home.

Would try to chill out for a while. There is serious hysteria about this in West London - i was spooked into putting DS1 down at a few months old to discover its all bullshit - if you are not looking till secondary you can wait until @ least Y3 before checking and decide what kind of children they are, whether you want single sex or mixed, IB or A levels....
If ou are really desperate, ask around the Y5 parents at the school your dd is starting at - they will have good local knowledge.

I mean y6. they will have just been thru it...

Hi there I am a year 6 parent and you have plenty of time to research secondary education from year 4 onwards. I started looking in year 5 and did not feel under pressure at all. There is very little point worrying too much before that time because schools change, due to change of headteachers and other key staff.

I have visited lots of schools in the last year (both state and private) and did not encounter one single school which was "old style public schooling" because London is cosmopolitan. Moreover, I would say that even the most traditional English country boarding schools are no longer "bowler hat and pin stripe blazer", we are now in the facebook, ipod and youtube generation.

Good luck with your dc's education.

I sympathise. I also live in West London and it is very different to many other areas. I also have just gone through the 11+ school entrance process.

There are a very few good state secondary schools particularly if you are not a committed Roman Catholic or C of E church attender but it is very difficult to get in even to these schools. Great RC schools include Cardinal Vaughen & Oratory (Boys only) and Sacred Heart and Gumley House (girls). Twyford school is an excellent C of E school. Non religious schools are few. Chiswick Community has a very patchy reputation but may well change.

As nothing is guaranteed it is wise, if you are lucky enough, to look at all the options, including Private and Grammar (Tiffin's in Kingston). There are many many people here who would not consider independent education if they were in another area, but West London is different and as parents, we have to do the best by our children.

Having said this, the good news is that there are lots of first class private schools (many in top 100 schools according to The Times) which will meet the needs of all kinds of children's educational levels, interests and have great facilities. They are though notoriously competitive to get into, Latymer Upper for example had almost 900 applicants for 120 places. So you will need to apply to 3 or 4 schools and if you are coming from the state sector will need a good primary school, lots of parental support and broadening of the curriculum and a tutor experienced at preparing children for the 11+. Tutoring begins at Year 5 (often year 4). If you have an exceptionally bright academic child you may get away with minimal preparation / tuition (I know one or two) but the brightish child will need coaching.

Girl's private schools:
Godolphin and latymer
St Paul's
Lady Eleanor Hollis (school bus from Chiswick)
Notting Hill and Ealing
Putney high
Central London schools-Francis holland, Queens gate etc

Boys:
St Paul's (via Colet Court at 11)
Westminster (via under school at 11+)
Hampton (school bus)
Kings Wimbledon (school bus)
St James

Mixed:
Latymer Upper
Harrodian,
Ibstock
St Benedict's RC
latymer Upper

Your children are still very young, so unless you are planning a 7+/13+ entrance for boys to a private school, relax and enjoy your children and complement their primary schooling but start saving! You will need to do the school rounds early in year 5. Get a goood tutor lined up. The Good School Guide online is excellent.

Good luck with it all!

Absolutely agree with LetsEscape. There are NO good non denom schools in West London and people fight to get into the mediocre ones. If you can go private then do and don't bother feeling guilty, why sacrifice your child to someone's politics you can never reclaim those years and I know lots of older children who have been failed by the system.

Hi Josh Hollowway...my step daughter goes to St James in Hammermsith and it's been absolutely brilliant for her. I'm quite like you - no experience personally of private education and new to W London - I would have prefered children to go to state schools but I have to say having seen our local state secondary school (Acton High) at the end of the school day I wouldn't put a child through it... it's looks completely terrifying. (Apologies to anybody who has children flourishing there, I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover etc). Twyford is our closest state school and looks brilliant but we've got no chance as we're damned to the eternal hell of being barred from religious state secondaries (private schoosl seem to take your cash and not give a toss about your religion).

What I found really horrifying about the whole process of going from private primary to private secondary is the pressure that children are put under - and we stayed out of that I am proud to say. Pushy parents, my god. It was staggering. The amount of tutoring and after school clubs that parents put their kids through in order to get places at some of these schools is truly mind boggling. On the day that places were announced there were kids and mums in the playground in tears... wtf? Our step daughter did no tuition/extra classes and did not suddenly start doing millions of extra curricular activities to make herself look like potential leader of UN aged 10. She does judo once an week and that's it. She got one place (at the school we wanted) and one waiting list thing. The school she is in is brilliant for her and I've changed my views on private ed as I can see how she is flourishing.

So, to sum up: state would be great in an ideal world; the reality isn't brilliant. If you have the money private means you can have access to some really fantastic education (whatever the rights and wrongs of that are) but I would be prepared for a level of competitiveness as part of that process that is truly staggering. I do think you might be getting a little bit ahead of yourself as schools can change hugely in a reasonably short amount of time given a change of head etc.

I've had a look at the Ofsted for Chiswick Community School, and I do think that in a few years it will be a school anyone would be happy to send their child to. The improvement is a very short time is amazing. Sometimes all it takes is a new Head!

Hampton used to be a state grammar. It's practically next door to Lady Eleanor Holles and the two schools do a lot together. The GSG says both have a lot of "first time buyers" ie first generation independent school educating parents.

Interesting to see this thread as it was posted 5 years ago, I wonder if the OP did decide on private as her DC should now be coming up to secondary age

To letsescape list I would add Emanuel. A few Chiswick kids do the journey. Either because they live in the river part of Chiswick and they can catch the train straight to Clapham Junction, or they do District Line to Richmond, then change to train to Clapham Junction.
It's worth adding it to the list because Emanuel has a slightly different approach to other schools.

Sorry, forgot to mention Emanuel is coed.

Sorry, forgot to mention Emanuel is coed.

From Chiswick, you can easily get to St James (boys), Sir William Perkins's (girls), St George's (mixed), on the Houston loop - Weybridge service.