What does a Catholic education give a Catholic child?

[wassername]

I am feeling very confused. I am a practising Catholic but converted as an adult so did not attend a Catholic school. My husband is agnostic.

I always thought I would send my children to a Catholic school, but when it came to it, we opted for the nearby non-denominational primary school for various reasons and both my sons are there now, with a daughter likely to follow in 2 years.

The benefit of this choice, as I see it, is a social one. My kids mix with children from many cultures and faiths (we are in Greater London) and I really love the fact that they have this exposure and involvement with the disparate elements of our society.

The school celebrates all faiths - so they mark Christmas and Easter as well as Diwali, Eid etc. However, I wonder if a Catholic education would help them to see how their own faith can be a part of their everyday lives in a way that I think I struggle to do at home.

We attend Mass regularly and the boys attend Saturday morning religious classes at the church. My eldest is in yr3 so is preparing to make his first Holy Communion this year. I think they feel a part af the church community, but I kind of envy the children at the Catholic school who say prayers in the morning and at lunch time and sometimes come to Mass at the church together or have the priest visit the school.

In a couple of years my eldest will be off to High School and I wonder whether I should look at Catholic high schools or continue in the non-denominational sector.

I think my key problem is that essentially I don't like the 'segregation' - ie only mixing with Catholics (at school anyway). Does it give children a different view of others - will they feel a little uncomfortable around people from a different religious and cultural background when they are adults?

I can't help but think that if everyone was educated in schools according to their faith we would have big problems integrating as adults.

I'd really welcome any views!

Agree with Monkeytrousers! Oh and a sense of always being watched..... no matter what you do, God will see you. If you're naughty, you'll burn in hell, etc..... But then that was about 25 years ago. I also came out of primary school (went to grammar school afterwards) not realising that there were any other religions and thinking that people who weren't catholic would go to hell. good 'rounded' education then....

Back to the original question....

In my area (home counties) there are a lot of small primary schools, so the children attending them tend to be from the area around the school. This has a tendency to make the children's backgrounds fairly homogeneous. The advantage of the catholic schools in this area (imo) is that they have a larger catchment area and so there are a far wider range of social and ethnic backgrounds. I don't have to worry that my kids will be picked on for having unusual names/coming from a non-English background because lots of the families are in a similar position.

My Ds goes to a Catholic primary school and I would've fought to get him there. I had always said to myself that if I ever had children, that they would be brought up Catholic and go to Catholic schools and I had to fight to get him Baptised and signed into the school via the parish Priest because as I worked every weekend from 7.30 until 9pm, I just couldn't get along to Mass.
Ds is hopefully going to get a place in a Grammar school this September and I actually don't have mixed feelings about this except for the RE side of things...don't ask me why though...perhaps it's guilt that he won't be having a Catholic RE lesson each week...

My dds go to a all girls catholic school, and as practising catholics thats what felt right for us, and I went to a catholic school but I do things have changed a bit since then, I am happy that my girls are in a school that installs the faith we have, they go to a catholic school that has a wide varity of diffrent girls from diffrent backgrounds, and to me has moved with the times, dd in yr8 had suprisingly frank sex education lesson and dd7 at the moment is building a synoggog, the school celebratres its catholic faith but will teach the girls about diffrent faiths.
My dds also have mixture of friends from scouts, drama & some of their cousions that dont practice or go to catholic schools they dont see themselves or their friends as any diffrent to their friends that they go to school with.

zanzibar, what i said was obviously a joke - soh failure much?

if you want to argue the point on pedantry - as you can - written text is an easy mark for that, then i have two things to state

1. Those mumsnetters who have known my style of posting over 6 or more years can advocate that i am not tolerant of bigotry in any form

2. Being a veteran poster, i would have to be extremely sily to make a rookie mistake of posting with obvious prejudice and little eeloquence or argument to back up what you assert to be a serious POV.

as you were.

Custardo - what a great sense of humour you have! Anymore to share on what I thought was a serious question raised by the original poster.
snowandsnow - my understanding is that LOS admissions criteria don't comply with the Diocesan code on the subject - complicated points system

Thankyou, i'm glad you can now enjoy it too

The only lasting effect in dh that I have noticed is a terrible fear of nuns which spoilt a train journey in Italy.

I went to a catholic school (too many years ago than I care to admit)and agree with many of caprica's comments.

To me it wasn't just about the religion which was pretty much forced on you, ie chapel 5 days a week, taught by nuns etc. It was also about the 'social' side of it. In order to get to the school I had to get two buses as it was quite a long way from my home. I therefore was in the situation that I didn't have any school friends living nearby and the children who did live nearby went to the local schools and therefore I was essentially an outsider.
I was very naive with regards to the other religions out there and was so pleased when my two eldest DC went to a local prep school where they learnt all about other religions and festivals, ie diwali, eid etc. I remember being in awe of my then 8 year old son when we went to Jerusalem a few years ago and he started explaining to everyone in the 'tat' shop we were in all about the hannaka/hannakia and explaining the meaning behind it. I was so proud of him and a little embarrsed by my ignorance of it.
I now live in a muslim country and when I first came out here I wished I'd known a little more about the faith although saying that, religious education is banned at the school my DS attends now [hmm}

am sorry this sounds glib but really going to Catholic school sped my way into atheism, happy that way
the nuns the oppressiveness the constant feeling that we were just wrong and sinful and dirty oh no

actually, I wasn't intending to criticise nuns earlier. My aunt is a mother superior in Ireland and to meet her you'd have no idea she was a nun. She has got a fantastic sense of humour and would have been a great teacher.

I think you get all sorts really, some are super fab funny energetic dedicated women others are frustrated mean bags out to make everyone around them miserable

Why is it ok to slag off Catholics and criticise at every opportunity, imagine the outcry if Muslims were held up for such ridicule

there aren't many nuns in schools anymore - it's difficult for some people to realise that Catholic schools have, in the main, moved on from what they were like when we were there.

My DSs are at a Catholic primary school and it is one of the most ethnically diverse in the city. They have just had a big thing for Chinese New Year and learn about other religious festivals as well as Christmas and Easter and what you'd expect.

I would say that a Catholic education can give a child a very real sense of Community and a continuity between home, school and church.

wassername -
I relate to you being envious of "children at the Catholic school who say prayers in the morning and at lunch time and sometimes come to Mass at the church together or have the priest visit the school"...

I always assumed I would send my dc to a catholic school but ended up living in a parish with no school, and where the nearest available option was really not particularly catholic...so I opted for the local non-denominational primary too -

It was probably the right decision in our circumstances - my dd is happy and confident in the wider community in which we live. She feels at home in our parish, went to children's liturgy and is now an altar server.

but...I am struggling...I think she would benefit from knowing that there are other children who are catholic (she is the only one in her school - we are in a very small parish) and that it is not abnormal. I feel that the critical time for teaching her about our faith is now - before she is too busy with secondary school work - and am finding that difficult to do in isolation

where did you go caprika?

wassername

You mention that you feel non-catholics are seen as outsiders.

My wife is a Catholic and she says that people who convert to catholicism are also never properly accepted either.

Are you sending your child to a catholic school in the hope of becoming more accepted? My wife went to convent and loved every bit of it but she would never send our kids to a catholic school because of the attitude you yourself have identified.

sorrento, with respect, I don't think anyone was slagging off catholics.
I'm currently living in what is probably the most extreme muslim country, my children who are catholic attend the British School and catholicism/christianity is banned, therefore no christmas, easter etc.
Can you imagine the outcry if that happened in the UK? Live and let live I say, each to their own etc

I suspect, as with all things school related, that it is really down to the school in question, whether you feel in tune with their values and whether you think your child would flourish there.

I went to a Catholic primary, and have lasting memories of being told that Mary was upset when no one confessed to pooing during a school swimming lesson, drawing pictures of various martyrs (lots of arrows, head chopped off, that sort of thing), which I enjoyed at the time, and fighting with another girl on the walk to church one morning (apparently particularly terrible to fight on the way to church). I don't think the Catholicism affected me either way, because at that age you think it is just totally normal. Being excluded for not fitting in on the other hand damaged my ability to make friends for years.

I was very glad not to go to Catholic secondary school, and in fact my parents didn't try for any Catholic (or Christian) secondary school for any of us, although my db later went to a Quaker school. Going to a non religious school at secondary (there are no secular school btw) didn't make me feel different for going to church, I think plenty of my peers did, or if not it certainly wasn't a big deal. Most of the time I thought going to church was a drag anyway (I imagine few teenagers welcome getting up early on Sundays).

In fact the only time I ever voluntarily went to church was when I moved to a CofE boarding school for sixth form, when I really enjoyed going on my own to the Catholic church in town. The boys had plenty of complaints about the behaviour of the school chaplains though - they were well known for breaking confidences, so not good for encouraging faith there. My dh went to a non-conformist school and hated being preached to by the religious teachers there, he felt that they were abusing their positions and were hypocrites too. We are both aetheists now!

nooka, PMSL at the floater in the pool incident (which is not good for my pelvic floor) Did no one ever confess?