DS excluded today

[unfitmother]

DS, who has Aspergers, was excluded from school today for a day after he hit a fellow pupil on the face with a ruler.
The other child was trying to rip his work up and DS couldn't cope.
I'm torn between and
DH is furious and wants to appeal etc. I don't know what to do for the best.
Clearly his behaviour was unaccetable but a suspension? I don't know if it is proportionate, DH is only in Yr 7 and is funded through the school's autism support base.

What happened to the other boy? I think you understand what he did was not nice, but under the circumstances, I do think an exclusion is a bit much. Maybe a day in seclusion might have been a better option for him.

Have you been given the full picture? Did the school call you in?

The school called DH at home. The Autism support SENCO wasn't there, it was a TA who had seen the incident and as the SENCO wasn't there it went staight to the Head.
We haven't been invited in at all though we will ask to do so.

It seems, imo, extreme unless there has been an escalation of events and this was the last straw or the incident was more aggravated that just the ruler, iyswim.

Hope you can get some clarification and yes, I would definitely book to see the Head/Senco.

What child would cope if another one was trying to destroy their school work????

yes your Ds should`nt have hit him with a ruler BUT the other child was wrong too

Suspension is`nt right

You need to go and see the head

We met the SENCO for a review only last week who said all was well.

Sorry to hear this. I would definitely want to learn more, especially re what happened to the other chld and whether your son's special needs have been fully factored in before the exclusion sanction was decided on.

It's so frustrating as we only have DS' account of events, According to DS nothing happened to the other boy and nobody would listen to his side of the story. Not that it would mean what he did was justified but it may have meant that exclusion was not warranted.
We were told that the Head knew he has AS.

Hmmm if another child hit my child in the face with a ruler I'd be pushing for an exclusion, the other child might have been winding your boy up but he wasn't physically touching/hurting him was he ?

I would say this is serious because the susp is on DS record now.

You need to have meeting and find out all details. As you know it is difficult to deal with autism/asperg etc but the school should be fully aware of the situation and how to deal with it. Reaction sounds extreme but obviously you need all facts from all parties.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

You do need to go into the school and get all the facts. It seems a harsh decision to suspend him if the other boy was wrestling or barging your DS to get at him homework, for example. Maybe not so if the other boy has merely picked it up and waved it around.

You do however, need to be sure that your DS is being heard even if he is eventually found to be totally in the wrong. He needs to know that you have given him a fair hearing. AS children can have a very strong sense of right and wrong and want to follow the rules. If he thinks the rules aren't being applied to him he won't understand the punishment which will make it useless.

Thanks Niecie, I did make this point on the phone to the SENCO today. He is so fixated on the perceived injustice of his punishment he is unable to think about the crime.
DH is taking him in tomorrow, the SENCO will meet them. I hope he feels calmer if she listens to him. I did a social story with him tonight but he still doesn't get it!

Sounds like he is still very upset by it all(not surprisingly)and not able to think about it clearly.

It's all been done in the wrong order hasn't it. They should have listened before they started dishing out punishments. Problem is, even if they said 'what do you have to say for yourself?', I doubt many of us would be able to put together a good argument on the spot, let alone a child with AS.

I hope it goes well with the SENCO.

DS went back today, he was told to report to the Head's office but when we phoned we found he's not in for the rest of the week.
DH said he wanted to accompany DS and they agreed that the SENCO would meet them both.
DS didn't say any of the things he was ranting to me about last week and was very quiet.
All appears to be well but DH in particular seems to have lost a bit of faith in the school. The SENCO is great but I am concerned that the Head took the decision to exclude without talking to DS, or us, before or after the event!

A day's exclusion sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

OP

what would you want to happen if it was your child that was hit in the face with a ruler?

The offending child to be taken out and shot!
That is why it is not up to parents to decide on the mangement of other peoples' dcs. It should be objectively.

If my son had been trying to rip up someone elses homework I would have no sympathy if the kid then turned around and hit him.

Hey unfitmother - what happened about this?? How is DS coping?? I've been wondering....