We had similar dilemma this time last year, between v. selective state grammar and selective indie in London. We eventually chose the indie because journey was easier, prospect of more local friends, and given slightly less selective intake they seemed to add more value in results terms. However, I'd be lying if I didn't sometimes wonder if we made the wrong decision. We can manage the fees out of income, and we've never spent much in any case, but sometimes it's hard not to think what else you might be able to use the money for (eg exciting holidays for the kids etc). In our case we were coming out of state primary so the switch to the indie world was also unsettling and I've had to work hard to keep contact with parents of old primary school friends. However, all that said, dc is very, very happy and involved in loads of stuff - sport, music, drama etc, although the grammar also had lots of extra-curric stuff too... But the grammar is a much bigger school and I'm not sure dc would really have had the same opportunities there... But you will never know how the other decision would have turned out which is why I think you just have to make the decision based on your thoughts at the time, and then make the best of it. It's a good dilemma to have!