Thinking of moving DD (Yr 7) to different sec school..........

[BeefyBabe]

We put DD is a 'specialist' sec school which is outside our local area as she was very interested in performing arts. Most of her prim school friends went to the local sec school and I am now thinking of moving her there as I think she is missing out on walking to school (important for gaining independance) as I have to drive her to current school - too far to walk and no buses and as she has lost contact with her primary friends she is just mooching round the house all weekend and has no one to hang out with in our area. Most of the friends she's made at her current school seem to spend their time wandering around the town and I won't let her do that.

She does not seem to be getting along that great at the school she's in now but says she does'nt want to move. I'd rather move her now than wait until she's more settled in. Any advice??

Bumping for you.

Hmm... It's not a great time to move, but as you say it won't get any easier if you leave it.

But if she's happy, I'm not sure I'd want to take such drastic steps. Can you encourage her to meet up with some of her new schoolmates? Maybe host a meal/cinema trip or something for a group of them? If it's not easy for her mates to come to her normally, could she stay over there in the new town after school, and spend time with her mates that way?

I agree that the journey to school is a good step towards independence. Is there any possibility she could cycle? Could you arrange some car-sharing, and encourage her to walk to the other person's house when she gets a lift? Or drop her off a little way from the new school, rather than right outside. Maybe you could drop her off at the house of a new friend, and they could walk in together.

My ds1 is also in yr7 and also goes to an out-of-catchment school in the next town, but catches a bus every day and has made some friends on the bus. He has 3 mates from primary school with him in his form (though they don't travel by bus). Since September he hasn't met up with any new schoolfriends in the evenings or weekends. But he doesn't seem interested in doing so, and I don't have a problem with it. He goes down (our) town on his own or with his brother, and has quite a lot of independence. He's happy at school and making good progress. The lack of a social life at this stage doesn't worry me.

But we do have the advantage that as and when he wants to spend more time with his mates there are regular buses and he has a bus pass, and he knows he will be expected to do so independently.

Agree with roisin. Early days yet...Have Dc in Y11, Y9 and Y7. Social life seemed to start properly in Y9. Encourage her to keep up with old friends and remember why you sent her there in first place. My experience is that children tend to move at the end of Y8. Hope this is helpful...