Private education for just one of my DC? Have you done this? Can I possibly....?

[ScruffySoAndSo]

just send one of my 4 DC to a private school.

There is more to this than I wanted to go into in this post but basically feel that DD2 is lacking in self confidence and self esteem and think that a private ed could give here these things.

We have planned for all 4 DC to go private possibly for 6th form so it is kind of in the grand scheme for all of them IYKWIM. But will I store up problems for later by others thinking this was unfair to treat DD2 so differently?

DD1 said today that she could understand our reasons for doing it and is quite OK on the face of it. However, the privilege of private ed may be hard on her in reality.

Not all independent schools are acadamic hothouses, pbmt.

No, they're not, I appreciate that, but I can't think of any round here that aren't. I was trying really hard to think where I would send my DC's if I wanted somewhere kind and nurturing where they would get really close attention and support if they were not academic and I couldn't think of one single place. I really do not know what we would do if we found ourselves in that situation.The independent schools here define themselves on where the children go onto next.

A preparatory school puts a lot of emphasis on to destination senior schools, and getting children into the right ones for them. This does not mean they are always academic. They tend to cater for a broad spectrum of children and will work to get hte academic ones in to selective schools, needy ones into nurturing schools etc.

The school my ds has started at is viewed as the 'non-academic' one where we live. Until recently they and the other private school did SATs. My ds's school results were always significantly better than the school that is considered to be the academic hothouse but is less good at blowing its own trumpet. The difference I noticed between the two was the children at the school I chose seemed happier. Leavers from my ds's school do a mix of very selective, non-selective or local grammar.

I think you should send her, and see how you go with the others. Maybe your other DC will be perfectly happy and flourish at the state school, or maybe you could save a bit for a couple of years to get a 'buffer' in case of a bad financial year? I think its is important to consider the future, but really, you need to make a decisio for th here and now, because you just don't know what wil happen in the future.

Another thought - it sounds as thought your DD's year group is the problem - are there any other State schools nearby that your DD could go to, rather than a privae school?

Best wishes, whatever you choose

Cheers Apostrophe - the High School is the best for miles and we are lucky to have it so close but you are right it is the year group who are the problem.

I went to private school, my 3 older sisters didn't (my brother did but was 7 years behind us so didnt come into it really)
I went as I got a full scholarship adn suffered such bad bullying I ended up leaving and going to local state, where I got on great.
I resented that my sisters seemed to get an easier ride as I was studying for mroe exams and had more homework, they resented that I was at the local 'posh' school.
There was a lot of rivalry between the 2 schools and it was hard for all of us, so that is another thing to consider.

Personally, I wouldnt do it, but then I was bullied for being 'poor' as I could only afford ot go there with the scholarship so that might not apply in this situation.

My DH went to the local comp, (younger) BIL to an independent. They aren't at all close, which I think is partly due to their wildly different experiences. MIL goes on and on about how fab BIL's school was and how dreadful DH's school was, which also makes DH a bit . They got exactly the same A level results BTW.