Would it be cruel??

[walkingprimrose]

Hi - I know I am thinking way in advance but it seems important anyway.

I am trying to decide on a Primary school for my daughter but I am torn between 2.
In the long term we'd like her to go to the Catholic high school at secondary level - it's a fantastic school, and just about the best in the county.

The problem is I wasn't keen on the Catholic Primary school; I visited it 3 times, each time hoping to like it, but there was something I felt kind of tense about. This school is the main feeder school for the high school.

There is another primary school which we do REALLY like but 99% of the children go from there to a secondary school which is no way as good as the Catholic school.

What should we do? Would it be cruel and unfair to send to to the primary we like but then take her away from all her friends at 11years old and send her to the catholic school?

What are other peoples experiences? Are we worrying needlessly? Or should we stick to catholic route from the outset (we are a catholic family but fully lapsed).

Please please help, got to submit application by 3.30pm tomorrow - have been agonising for weeks.

Thanks.

I'd go with what you like NOW. Things could change and the catholic one might stop being great etc, I think primary edu. is far more significant in terms of outcome ie happy child, than secondary.

Go with the one you like best now.

OK, if you don't like the primary school DO NOT send her there.

Then the question is, what happens when she's 11? It's a long way off, in a decade's time when you are applying both that and the other secondary may well have new heads and be very different places. Right now, just focus on choosing a primary.

Lots of kids end up going to different secondaries to their friends, btw, it is NOT the end of the earth.

Agree with what others have said about schools changing over the years. A secondary school local to us has gone from awful to ok and back again in the 20 years we have lived here.
That said I would look closely at the Catholic high school's admissions criteria if you are sure you want her to eventually go there. Not attending a feeder school round here would seriously affect your chances of securing a place at the over subscribed Catholic secondary school.

My dd (11) recently transferred to high school. All her close friends from primary went to a different high school. I anticipated problems but there were none at all and she has very quickly made loads of new friends.

Personally I would go with the school that you feel is right for your DD now. My DD started High School this septmber and unfortunately all her primary friends went to another High school -she's made loads of new friends. 8 years ago my DD's High school was dire the Ofsted from 2000 read like a horror story - not quite in special measures but nearly.The
Ofsted done last month and published a couple of days ago glows, so things do change and dramatically so in some cases.

You should send her to the school that you like NOW.

Anything can happen with schools, intakes and results between now and then.

Anything can also happen with your own family life, you or dh may get offered the perfect job with the perfect salary at the other end of the country.

Twould be silly to not be happy with primary school when there is no absolute guarantee that you will all still be in the same position by the time you get to secondary school age.

My son went, at 10, to a different school from most of his friends. He adapted and made new ones.

As an aside, if you're 'fully lapsed" then why do you want a Catholic education for your children? I'm 'fully lapsed" too - and I just couldn't sign up to everything you have to at Catholic school!

I know exactly what you're saying Seeker - I don't even know if I agree faith schools at all. We had planned on the catholic primary because of the excellent high school, and the fact that we were in a dodgy catchment area until recently, and the catholic school is exempt from the catchment area stuff.

I'd worry about secondary education in about 5 years time! When dd started primary in 2000, there was no way on earth that I'd have sent her to the secondary school she's at now. However, that school is now the only Ofsted Outstanding comp in the borough and she is doing fantastically.

she might be more than happy to leave the people behind in 5 years time; she might not but she'll have a whole load of new friends to make, plus the ones she carries over from the previous school - I still have friends from junior school.

I went to a private girls' school after a state junior - in my year, only 5 of us went to this private school and I wasn't friends with any of them (none were in my class) - I made a good friend on the first day at senior school and we are still friends now, some 30 years later. And I was not an outgoing sort of person, quite shy.

So choose what is right for you now and if she has to move without her friends in 5 years time, she will cope.

Hi.

Please do not send your child to a primary school that you are not happy with. Mum's have instincts that need to be listened to.

Your child may well pick up on your feelings and be affected by them.

I went to the 'best' grammar school in the area and my younger sister went to the local secondary. She was lots happier than I was mainly as her friends lived closer.

There is a long time before your child will be old enough to go to secondary so enjoy life at primary - and get involved with the school too.

Wishing you and your child a happy education.