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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Teachers Swearing and Shouting

25 replies

mice · 08/12/2008 18:05

I am just looking for opinions on something my son in year 8 has told me today.

He said he had a bad Rugby lesson as the teacher was really horrible to them. He said he was constantly telling the Rubgy B team that they were useless compared to the A team - that they weren't trying hard enough - that they were "shit" " crap" and "useless" and that he was telling one boy that he was "just big and ugly" when I asked if this teacher was joking (about the "big and ugly") he said none of them knew and the boy involved just said nothing.

My instant reaction is that this is quite shocking. In every other way this is a really good school (one of the best in the country apparantly) and this is the only bad thing I have heard.

Am I right to be shocked and should I approach the school to discuss this teachers methods - or am I being a little precious and this is the way things are these days??
Any advice welcome

OP posts:

frogs · 08/12/2008 18:54

Tell me this isn't QEB?

No, it's not okay, but not sure there's that much you can do about it other than make a formal complaint, which will sour your relationship with the school.

lazymumofteenagesons · 08/12/2008 18:59

I have never actually complained, but I have found that games teachers seem to act like little Hitlers alot of the time. They say and do things no other teachers would. We have often discussed this at home and my boys have come to the conclusion that alot of inadequate men become games teachers so that thay can have a go like this. By the way I know this is a bit of a generalisation and they are nothing like what they used to be when I was at school, but still unacceptable behaviour and if it happens again I would have a word with head of PE.

cat64 · 08/12/2008 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mice · 08/12/2008 19:35

Thank you! Glad you haven't all told me I am being over sensitive!

All the other PE staff seem very good (as in fact do all the staff) which is why I have been so shocked.

I will phone the school in the morning and see what they have to say!

OP posts:

Hulababy · 08/12/2008 19:48

It is unacceptable.

You wouldnt think twice about it being wrong if it was the Maths or Science teacher. Games teachers are no different and should abide by the same code of conduct as other teachers, and fortunately most do.

I would complain personally.

stillenacht · 08/12/2008 19:57

oops sometimes i use the words crap and bloody to a class when i am trying to rehearse something and the little blighters don't listen and/or if they repeatedly put minimum effort in (whilsti slog my guts out to get the best from them and practically kill myself doing it)- unfortunately it does have the desired effect most of the time (wakes them up to sing/play more in tune/more accurately)

In fact i am pretty well known by older pupils for my descent of language 2 weeks prior to a concert/performance but i would NEVER say anything like this to one particular pupil

WalkingInAWonderStuffingLand · 08/12/2008 20:04

totally unprofessional
I said I was pissed off once and got called up on it, didn't realise that was a swear word

But actually swearing at the children! Such poor role model, complain

seeker · 08/12/2008 21:38

I would complain - BUT I would tread very carefully until I was absolutely sure that I had the whole story - and there hadn't been an element of exaggeration in the telling!

Original poster

mice · 09/12/2008 14:55

Well - I checked and double checked with my son - and told him I would ring the school - and did I have all the facts and he assured me that I did! He is very sensible and very academic (one of the reasons I am so annoyed as I am so pleased he has been enjoying rugby and taking part in less academic things too) and it was the first thing he told me when he cam home so was quite important to him.
I have spoken to his head of year this afternoon - who was as shocked as me. She said the worst she had head the PE tachers call the boys were "girls" and "wusses" which I don't have a problem with. She said swearing is alwas unacceptable and took all the details. I did point out I didn't want my sons name mentioned! She has said that the teacher involved is not actually a member of staff but that he usually just comes in to help wih rugby training - but normally just with the older boys.
She will investigate with the head of PE and get back to me.
So - thank you for all your advice!

OP posts:

seeker · 09/12/2008 17:55

Actually, I would be much more upset if my boy was called a "girl" as an insult that if he was sworn at!

Original poster

mice · 09/12/2008 19:18

The way I see it - is if you call accuse a group of boys of "playing like girls" - that is fairly jokey. Saying you are useless, crap, shit and ugly - I don't see that as very jokey.
I am sure I have accused my boys of acting like girls - but would certainly never speak to them in the way this teacher has done.

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onebatmotherofgoditschilly · 09/12/2008 19:27

very that you think it's okay to use 'girl' as a term of abuse or a gauge of relative crapness. I want my son to grow up thinking girls are great.

seeker · 09/12/2008 19:33

So what is "playing like a girl?

edam · 09/12/2008 19:38

Of course swearing is unacceptable but I do wonder whether there's ever so slightly more to the story. (I know you've checked.)

Guess you just have to wait for the head of year to find out what happened from the rugby coach's point of view. Hope you get a satisfactory answer.

Btw, I don't like 'girls' being used as an insult either. I want ds to respect girls and boys, not see one as inferior to the other.

Original poster

mice · 09/12/2008 20:09

My son certainly does respect girls as well as boys - he has as many female as well as male friends and we have been chatting this evening about how in awe he is of one of the girls talents (musical )
I would love to hear that there was more to this than I am aware - as I find it really hard to believe that it could have happened - I kept repeating the same quesions to my son - in a - you really can't be serious voice. The head of year seemed to use the same tone today too.
I have no wish for this rugby coach to be severely disciplined - eveyone makes mistakes and I am ready to believe this was an error of judgement. I am happy enough with the response that this is not something the school would consider acceptable and that all teachers - PE or Maths should have the same standards.
I am also happy that I have taken the step of informing the school - the head of year was very grateful as they can do nothing if no-one tells them what has been happening.
If it comes back that my son is a fantasist then obviously this is something I would deal with then - but I am as confident as I can be that he has told me the truth as he saw it.

OP posts:

edam · 09/12/2008 20:44

Oh, I'm sure he did tell the truth as he saw it, but there could well be other stuff that didn't make it into his point of view, without any intention to mislead you. If you've ever heard several eyewitness accounts of the same event, you'll know how differently people remember stuff, even if it's only just happened.

Coldtits · 09/12/2008 20:46

Er, I played rugby at school, and I played like a girl - ie, very well, thank you

I really really hate the idea that "Like a girl" is synonymous with "shit"

Uriel · 09/12/2008 20:49

Agree with Coldtits.

Original poster

mice · 09/12/2008 21:08

I agree entirely too.
I don't expect my chldren to be told they are shit no matter how it is said.
If someone said to my boys "stop acting like girls" I would assume they were squabbling or chattering etc - or something stereotypical "girly" in the same way if my friends said "you are acting like boys" to their girls I would think they were being rowdy and boisterous or something stereotypical "boyish".
Maybe I am being naive. I certainly didn't mean to offend and apologise if I have.

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seeker · 09/12/2008 21:13

Except no one would EVER say "sop acting like boys" to girls!

seeker · 09/12/2008 21:14

Maybe when you compalin about the swearing, you could complain about the sexual stereotying too - the Head didn't seem to see it as a problem. Your mission - to enlighten her!

choccyp1g · 09/12/2008 21:17

Agree with other posters that using "girls" to mean "not good at sport" is totally unacceptable.
Swearing and shouting generally may be a useful tactic in some contexts. Swearing at an individual child is out of order.

Original poster

mice · 09/12/2008 21:17

Mission accepted!!
Thing is I am a wuss and was shaking like a leaf just making this call!! I will certainly do my best.

OP posts:

edam · 09/12/2008 22:51

were you really? Only you didn't come across as at all nervous on here. Give yourself a pat on the back for actually making the phone call, then.

Original poster

mice · 09/12/2008 23:08

Nice to know I don't sound nervous on here - lets hope I pulled off as good an effort on the phone and she didn't hear my knocking knees - but - I did make the call myself rather than the easy option of geting my husband to do it - so personal progress today if nothing else!

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