Two questions about taking days off sick...

[seeker]

First - do your children have "I'm poorly" voices that make you want to stamp on their fingers? Or is that just me....?

Secondly - and more seriously - at what age do you let your dcs make the decision for themselves whether they are unwell enough to stay off school? My dd is 12. She is very tired, a bit flu-ey and is, I think, still suffering a reaction to the HPV virus jab she had on Wednesday. I think she could probably have gone to school, but as an experiment, I laid out the options for her - getting behind, missing out on weekend plans, having the hassle of finding out what the weekend homework is, being the sort of person who allows being a bit poorly to stop them doing things rather than the sort of person who gets on with life etc etc etc...thinking she would say "OK then, I'll go to school" Naive fool that I am.....!!!!!!

ah yes-my dd is luckily in the "get on with it brigade" she's in the 6th form and has learnt that time off is a pita and results in extra hassle.

Twelve is still young-she may take time to learn or be like me as a teen and scive off at every opportuniy

not answered any q's

voice-no sorry dd doesn't,ds too young

age to let them decide-hmmm ,over 12 I think,14 maybe!BUt if I feel they are well enough to go I insist.

It's not only my kids who use that 'I'm poorly' voice!!!

My kids have never had a great deal of time off school, but now they are in 5th or 6th form, on the whole, they make the decision and face the consequences. I do find that sometimes dd seems to have 'overdone' things, and a day off enables her to get over this, when as forcing the issue can lead to several days off with a bug.

Having said that, she probably has no more than 2/3 days off each year - it's just that this term is the tough one!

Ds will do anything to avoid time off, as he hates the catching up bit!

1 - Yes. The "I'm going to fade away any moment" voice! Irritating, isn't it?

2 - I think by 12 they're old enough to be involved in the decision, and take the consequences, though only if you think it's a "maybe" - sometimes you'll probably be clear enough that they are fit to go, or not. But if you're not clearly decided one way or the other then I think you were right to give her the choice.

It's not just children with 'ill' voices though is it. People phone it to say they won't be in work for a bad toe, using this 'poorly' voice. A friend used it when she told me her consultant's appointment had come through - concerned yes, ill no!

I'm just being miserable, I think!!!

I think as they get older (year 9+) they realise that any missed work has to be caught up and this is a hassle. Therefore, they tend to police themselves.

However, I have been known to be quite tough and informed my son that being tired and feeling 'under the weather' was not the same as ill and he needed to realise that life can be tough and it only gets tougher once you're out of school! I then had to go and get him mid morning after an irate phone call from 'matron' to say he shouldn't have come to school

Difficult! I got caught out last week. Had phone call saying DS2 (13) felt "dizzy & sick" which is his usual try on if there's something he doesn't fancy. Thought about it, got there in time to see him being picked up from the floor in sick bay having fainted. He came home and went to bed for the next 2 days and is now fine. He is a bit of a hypochondriac and I've had him suddenly feel better when the others have gone to school so was convinced I was having my leg pulled again! Usually unless they are actually throwing up or have a temp I get them to go in, saying they can always see the nurse and come home if it's really bad. It seems a bit harsh and I don't particularly like doing it, but know that they'd certainly try it on more if I was more lenient!

If you can see the symptoms - ie obvious cold, cough, peekiness, d&v - then let them have the day off.

If they are just telling you they are sick, then give them some paracetamol and send them in and say that you will pick them up if they feel unwell at school, or let them go to sick bay.

Oh, how I wish my ds 15 was concerned about catching up.

We usually have a disagreement about every 3 weeks about his (so called) ailments. He will try and wriggle out of school over anything, and loves taking time off. I find it very wearing, and usually try and make him go. Otherwise he would never attend

Weigh up the odds - giving them the benefit of the doubt versus getting a call from the school nurse or some irate head of year who has your dc sitting outside their office, with 5 other kids all with their poorly voices and poorly faces on for full effect, and having to leave work/interrupt your day to pick them up.

Dd (12)unfortunately has a disability that does not show on the outside but which does mean that she is sometimes in too much pain to go to school. After years of bullying, arguing, cajoling, even crying, I have decided to leave the matter up to her. Her attendance has not got any worse since the matter was taken out of my hands, but my blood pressure is looking slightly better.

mine didn't start school till 13 and they are old enough to make up their own minds but how they feel.
if anything its me telling them they lok peaky and should stay home!