Far or near? Local school = local mates, far away = no mates? Should I take this into account?

[Steamroller]

What do people think about the social aspect of choosing a secondary school? Our local school is big (>2k)and most of the kids near us go there. There's another school, less than half the size, looks good in lots of ways, but it's in a different area. All the new school friends would be miles away, and socialising with them would be difficult. And dd wouldn't be friends with the local kids.. is this something I should consider in my choice, do you think?

We chose the latter. OK, it's not that far away and he does have some local mates who go there, but the vast majority go to a school on the other side of town. The school we chose is also much much smaller and so far (touch wood) DS#1 has been very happy there. He has made new friends (not seen them out of school yet I must admit) and kept in touch with some of his friends from his local primary too.

The social aspect is something to consider without a doubt, but only as part of the whole picture.

I think in a school with 2,000 pupils your ds would probably not be in the same classes as his current friends. They tend to scatter them to encourage new friendships.
What I would consider however is the travel to and from the far-away school. Are you happy to drive dd? Would she take the bus? How much would that cost and are you happy to pay?

I am in the same predicament as you (although our local big school is 1,500 pupils) but am discounting the further afield smaller school because I want ds to walk / cycle to school adn have the indepedence which comes with that.

I am not willing to drive him to school (plus am hoping to work again by then so won't be able to) and I am not able to pay however much it would be a month for the bus when there is a good (albeit large) secondary within walking distance.

I grew up in a village so nearest school was about 5 miles away. Even though everyone else in the village went there on the bus together I still felt left out from about 12 or 13 when people who lived in the town popped round each others' houses in the evenings etc. It was the only choice for me but I grew to resent living in the village and my teenage years were quite, erm, turbulent . I also left home very young...

I don't put all that down to not being near my schoolfriends but if I had the choice I would like my child to go as local as possible.

They'll want to meet their friends & do activities this would mean lots of driving or public transport. Also longer journey = less time for homework & relaxing when at home & earlier starts.

Good point cupsoftea. Two of the boys next door go to the local large secondary and they go see friends / have friends round regularly. They arrive on foot or by bike because they are all local albeit not from the same village.
For me that is a huge advantage.

I'm fine with the travel to further away school - bus ride but v simple & reliable. Friends from primary ins't an issue either, because most of dd's friends WONT be going to local school - most have gone the private route, so will be travelling away to other schools. So she wont know anyone at the local school Its just the new friends she makes would be local and so far you all seem to agree that's important...

Our dcs went to a school further away but it became a logistical nightmare - bus services were cut, loads of ferrying about to friends etc. We eventually moved nearer the school.

I think it's important for it to be local if everyone else is iyswim. You wouldn't want all the kids to live in area X and hang out together and your DD not being able to.
However, I think it's less important if the kids all come from a large catchment - although it does extend your taxi service .

I'm making a similar choice but all the children in the village will go to the same secondary. There is a school bus but they will be restricted to friendships with the village children.

tbh I don't really want my dd going out to friends during the week, there won't be enough hours in the day for it.

You also need to consider the size of the school. In excess of 2000 students is a big place and may be rather impersonal. I taught in a comp with 1400 students and I thought that was really the optimum for staff to have a handle on the students and to know them well.

Would your dd be happier in the smaller environment? You have to look at the school more than anything else.

Fwiw, in the village I lived in in Cornwall, some kids went to the grammar in Plymouth, some to the local comp in the nearest town, and some to private school, and they all seemed to hang out together.

it also depends on how sociable your dd is - ds1 goes to an independent school a few miles away on the train - the vast majority of his primary school go to the local partially selective comprehensive (although not all because of teensy catchment area)

tbh he was really relieved he wasn't going with anyone he knew - it's given him a complete fresh start - there are a couple of boys who live relatively close and they all go on the train together

I know the local kids are all popping in and out of each others' houses and ds does that very rarely, but when I encourage him to meet up with people from primary he very rarely wants to - he also swims several times a week so he sees all his swimming mates which seems to satisfy his need for social interaction

I moved DC1 from his local primary school, to a private school that he has to go on a long bus journey to. I thought that he would still see local friends, but he didn't really want to, he felt like he didn't fit in anymore and that his old friends didn't like him
He will be moving up to secondary school next year and we have decided to send him to a local one, as I feel he is really missing out on friends, at the weekend he mopes about the house and drives us mad, can't wait for him to have local friends again and not have to do the long journey to school.

Sorry haven't read the whole thread, but i would go with the school you think will be better for your child in the long term. Friendships change all the time.