would you send your oldest child to private senior school if you didnt think you could afford to do it for subsequent children?

[SlartyBartFast]

or what?

don't you think it's the least able that would need it more though custardo? That seems like a terrible idea to me - wouldn't the less able child forever think, 'well I never had the chance' and feel rather written off at 11.

All hypothetically of course.

hmm

we have thought about this as dd1 is imaginative, sensitive and v sporty - not three characteristics served well by state secondary IMO

dd2 is so bright and bumptious (and unsporty ) she would be fine at good state

dd1 defintitely not hugely bright - private better for that I think

My elder sisters went to a private convent school and db and I went to the local primary. I was SOOOOOO grateful the money ran out!

cant bear the idea of her sinking away without trace at huge state school and forever thinking she is a dunce

at least at private she will get the chance to blossom if she needs it, or the chance to do loads of fabby extra curricular stuff if she doesnt actually blossom!

No, but the WWW's friend did it is a different matter.

No.

The friend is v happy with her choice and so are her children. She thinks her dd2 will fail 11+ and go to state secondary (dd1 passed and is at state grammar) although if that happens they may decide to payt for the dd2 to stay in current private school.

DD is at a state secondary and loves it, there is no way she would go to a "poncey" private school, even though her Dad teaches in one!

DS1 and DS2 are in a small local primary school, DS2 is lucky to be in a class of 16 but DS1 (being a millenium child!) is in a class of 30 and every one of them, including him, is a 'character'. Last years teacher nearly had a nervous breakdown after just one term of them!

So yes we may very well move him at some point, I know he would flourish in a smaller class, and he wouldn't mind moving whereas the other 2 would hate to switch schools.

I did because DS1 had opportunity for reduced fee place at a school which suited him perfectly - very academic. DS2 not so academic and went to local state school. Now DS1 is off my hands financially I am paying for DS2 to go private for sixth form (classes of 5 rather than 20+). So it all depends on the children and the types of school you have locally.

We looked this is a slightly different way. DS1 (everyone said) was a cert for the excellent local grammar. But we thought DS2 was not in same league intellectually and might not get in, and so we would have to send him to an independent (local secondaries are dire), which might then later breed resentment between them. Ironically, now that DS2 has matured, he is probably actaully brighter than DS1 and would have a good chance of the grammar after all - sigh....

Another family we know have a differetn dilemma. Their elder child won a massive scholarship to a major independent. Thye could not have afforded full fees. But the second child will not wina scholarship. So should they send him to state school, or make sacrifices to send him and pay full fees?

I don't think so.

DS1 didn't sit the entry for the local selective for various reasons, one of them being that even if DS2 passed, the school wasn't right for him, whereas they're both happy at the school they're both at now.

I will happily send one and not the other but could afford to send both. If I could only afford one, then neither would go. If I could afford to send both I would make my decision based on individual needs. As it stands I plan to send DS state grammar if he gets in and DD private because I don't think that there is the same choice for girls. Interestingly I would only send my kids to academic private schools, I wouldn't send my less academic children privately because they'd be well served in our local state schools.

yes, because i still dream that i will one day win the lottery.
however, as we have a rather large age gap between the first and second, we are still hopeful of santa bringing lots of extra money.

I would have to treat them all the same!
We looked into privately educating our son recently, but having talked it through with family we decided to shelve the idea!

The reason we considered private was because of the small class size. Our son lacks confidence and we thought it would help boost it being in a smaller class where he would count as being a class member more.

We now have all 3 children privately tutored as well as them attending state school. It works out well. They get a one-to-one with their tutor (who is a private school teacher)and it boosts their confidence in their abilities.

I have nothing against private education if thats what people choose, but i could not do it for one child without giving the other two a chance. It would no doubt come back to haunt you at a later date!

It totally depends on the reasons why. Equality of access is not treating everyone the same, it's treating people according to their needs and abilities, so in theory I don't think there is any problem with choosing different schools/systems for different children.

If I had to choose not to send any of my kids to their private school it would have to be the 1/3 who isn't dyslexic!

Maybe treating people according to their needs is right in some cases.

In cases of special needs maybe the private sector would be most helpful. 2/3 of our children are special needs however I still choose state school as I feel our eldest will resent it if the other 2 went private.

Not everyone is academic and despite wanting the best for them as parents, their true personalities shine in other ways.
Sometimes the whole School experience can be stiffling to some and they only really blossom once out of the education sector.