Is it CRUEL to put child thro private school entrance exam, with high risk of not getting in?

[Onestepatatime]

YOU LOVELY WISE PEOPLE OUT THERE, PLEASE ADVISE ME!!Our choices for Yr 7: local state school (v bad ofsted) or local independent school (outstanding). No question of us paying school fees,we would need financial help/bursary. Private school only offers places to 2/3 of their applicants. If we apply for private, but don't get a place, will child feel NOT GOOD ENOUGH forever? Is the risk worth taking? Or just opt for state school????

How bright is your child? How does s/he usually do in relation to his peers? Does s/he play an instrument or a sport?

Now, at end of yr 5, shes at end-of-year-6 level in literacy, average in maths, other stuff dont know yet. Sport/music - choir. Why ? would being a tennis/lacrosse-playing musician increase her chances of getting a private place/bursary???

Many private schools offer bursaries of only 1/3 of annual fees, and you still have to pay considerable extras (swimming, lunches, uniform ££, insurance, etc.) on top of this.

The best/biggest independent schools do offer means-tested bursaries of a higher %, some even up to full fees. But they are also the ones with tougher entrance exams/selection policies.

Is moving house not an option for you?

Can I just check what sort of private school it is? Is it an academic private school where these things matter? I mean is it academically selective?

Because I think it is hard for children to cope either success or failure in this scenario. Failure would not be nice. But if it is a terrifically academic school then success in the exams might lead to your DD getting in but ending up at the bottom of the class, which would be a bit cruel

There are sometimes all-round scholarships/exhibitions. Or sports or music awards. But competition for these is fierce--realistically you'd be talking about at least grade 4 in a first instrument. But I do know a boy with a fantastic voice who got a choral scholarship with about grade 3 in violin.

Also, yes playing a sport (or several sports) and music and choir will all enhance prospects. My DD is just finishing off year 5 and plays on the tennis and hockey teams, plays piano and sings in choir. They're not all tremendously good at these activities by any means but it will help. Good luck.

He who dares wins.
He who doesn't bother....

I don't think there's fundamentally any cruelty in putting him in for the entrance exam, it would only be the way you approached it which would have the risk of making him feel like a failure. Which I'm sure you won't do, because you won't make him feel like that!

I think that you need to make sure your child is well prepared by a private tutor who has a good record of getting children into selective schools. A repruatable tutor would tell you honestly if your child has any chance.

A school that offers places to 2/3 of applicants may not be as selective as it appears. A lot of children will apply for several schools or the parents will decide the fees are too high.

My parents made the mistake of putting in for exams for private schools without preparation. It completely knocked my confidence to pieces and I got teased in the playground by girls who had been offered places. Five years later I did better than them at GCSE.

My parents then got me private coaching and I passed the exam the following year. I was expecting to bottom of the class, but infact I regularly came about 3rd out of 30 in the class.

A small minority of the children at selective schools are as thick as pig sh!t. The advantage of attending a pressurised prep school did not last and many of the bright state school kids caught up quickly.

Definitely get a tutor.