Secondary school appeal based on domestic abuse

[alrobsx]

I applied for the secondary school closest to my home. I ended up getting the school 5th on our choices (I only put 5 choices as we were advised to by the school). There were actually only 2 schools I would have been happy with my son to go to. My son was born into a severely abusive, violent, controlling and manipulative relationship, I was domestically abused for years. I escaped the relationship (by literally running away with my son). My parents called the police after I left and a police officer working on my case said this was the worst case of domestic abuse she'd ever seen since joining the police force. I had a restraining order, prohibited steps order, legally changed my son's name to protect him from being found by his father. I have worked tirelessly to rebuild my life; I have started my own successful business, worked on my mental health (I suffered extreme anxiety and depression after escaping), and done everything possible to give my son a safe and loving home and environment (I still feel guilt that for the first years of his life he was living in the most awful circumstances). My son has absolutely no relationship with his father. My issue with the school my son has been given is that he will need to change buses at the train station, where his estranged father is known to frequent as his sister lives in the next town. My son is desperate to be allowed to come home from school by himself, but obviously I cannot allow it knowing he could unexpectedly encounter his father. The schools that were our first two choices are between our home and the train station/high street meaning he would have to take one direct bus from the end of our road directly to the school, completely avoiding the train station and high street. I appealed the decision based on these reasons. During the hearing I was told to 'hurry up' whilst this was already a very unsettling experience for me having to discuss horrific things I had been through. I do not feel like the understood what I was saying as they simply kept saying 'it's only another 10-15 minutes to the school you have been given'. We then received the email to say our appeal had been unsuccessful. We were told we would receive a letter with the reasons why this has been unsuccessful within 15 days, it has been over a month now and we still have not received the letter. I have complained through department of education that we don't feel like our appeal followed the correct procedures but have now been told our case is on hold because we have not uploaded the letter with the reasons our appeal was unsuccessful (which we have not received). I am not sure what to do, I know I can drop off and collect my son from school (which I am doing now), but how long can I do this for, when he is desperate to get the bus home alone, he does not know the reasons I am so protective over him, and its not something I want him to know about just yet. I have considered putting my business on hold and homeschooling; but he is an only child and the only child in our entire family, I don't know if keeping him from children his own age would be more detrimental to his mental health. I feel like I'm screaming but no one can hear me.
For reference; my son's father has a long list of criminal convictions, even with restraining order etc, he has still tried to make contact. He messages members of my family still, and has previously said one day he'll take my son from me like I did to him. I honestly believe if he ever sees him or finds out what school he is at he will do everything he can to form a relationship with him and to illegally take him from me; not because he cares about his son but because he still wants to punish me for leaving.

Was it 15 school days rather than 15 days? It sounds as if your appeal was more about your needs and concerns than your ds’. Are you appealing both schools nearby? Is he on any waiting lists?

what’s the legal situation now , did dad take you to family court?

how long since they saw each other, would they recognize each other?

Does your son ask about his dad? How does he seem to feel about him?

Did you make it clear that there has been a direct clear threat made to your son’s life by someone who frequents this town? Can you get confirmation of police report for that threat to help you?

You might want to self refer to early help to see if they can help you as they have links to local authority

You have set out very clearly why you don't want your son to go to the allocated school. However, most of that is about your ex's treatment of you. For any of this to give you a case, you needed to show that there was a credible threat to your son if he went to the allocated school.

The delay in getting the decision letter with detailed reasons is poor. You should have received that within 5 school days of the hearing. If there were multiple hearings for the same school that were spread over several days, they could take 5 school days from the last hearing. It certainly should not take as long as it seems to have in your case.

You say you have complained through the DfE, but they don't have any powers to step in. I hope you are dealing with the ESFA or the LGO, depending on the type of school. However, they will only step in if the Appeals Code was broken. You say that you don't think the correct process was followed, but you haven't specified what you think was incorrect. The only apparent failure is the time it has taken to get a proper decision letter to you, but you won't win another appeal on that basis.

I'm sorry if this seems harsh. I sympathise with your situation and would like to help if I can. However, on the information you've disclosed I'm not sure there is anything you can do to fix things at this stage.

@alrobsxthe grounds you've used to appeal unfortunately were never going to succeed as OPs have said.
Your best option is to get DC on the waiting list for the school(s) you would be happy with. There is always pupil movement and you could well get a mid year place this year or next.
Take him to and from school until then. Maybe you could take and collect him from the bus at the train station as a compromise for now?

As so often, I agree with prh47bridge.

It is poor that you are still waiting for the outcome letter explaining how and why the appeal panel reached its decision. Presumably, they did not accept your argument that your son would be at risk if he attended the allocated school (and, unless I’ve misunderstood, this argument is largely about your ex-partner sometimes using the station where your child would be changing buses).

The outcome letter should explain next steps. There are routes for challenging the decision but, as prh47bridge says, these are about failure to follow the correct appeal process rather than general dissatisfaction with the decision.

@LIZS 15 school days, but it passed this a while back. We are on both waiting lists but number 30+ for both so not holding out hope. They were mainly about my experience as I went through it for years, I managed to get my son out at 18 months but all of his birthday and Christmas presents from family were thrown in the bin, I had to take him out in the garden when he cried as a newborn and onwards because his father didn’t like noise and would get angry, if I hadn’t had left I know he would be abused in the way I was.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum no he won’t go through courts, there was a warrant out for his arrest for years so that would have got him caught. He saw my sister in a shopping centre a couple of years after I left and told her he’ll take my son when he’s ready. My son looks identical to him, he would recognise him instantly.

I’m sorry you went through all that and are obviously still carrying the trauma so many years later. However an appeal needed to be based upon the direct impact and risk to your ds, any support needs which the desired school can address or hobbies and interests it offers. Are there any other more local schools with space or for which he might be higher on wl?

I have much sympathy for you OP, but have you got any information about why there was a warrant out for your husband's arrest years ago? Are you in touch with any social workers/police etc who could show more info about what your husband was/is like? Is there are paperwork to show that people other than you believe that your husband might be a risk to your son? Police? Social Services? Medical services? I get your concerns, but I also think allocating a place based on the fact that you clearly think the other journey will be risky for your son, may not be something they do. Lots of parents could claim there was someone they didn't want their child associating with in a particular town or on a certain route. I'm not sure it would hold water without some evidence of risk.