Choosing between feeder secondary school and a nearer school for September

[Zara445]

I'm really unsure about a situation. My DD is due to start secondary school in September. However, the school is a little outside of our area because it's the feeder school from the primary school. She has some good close friends there. However, there is a closer school to us.

I am about to finish my PhD and I am applying for positions which are around 45-1hr drive, so the school closer to us would work better, i.e. there is a school bus that comes right outside our house to take her to school. Otherwise, because of my starting time, I would have to drop her off with friends / family in the mornings as i would be leaving early. Friends and family have kindly agreed but then I don't want my DD to have to get up really early and feel like shes at different houses each morning. At home, she can get ready properly etc.

She is painfully shy and know it would be good to keep her with her friends. However, when I've asked her she wants to go to this school that is closer to us - only because she gets to go on a school bus and shes excited for that.

The school closer to us seems a lot better too, but I'm also unsure whether splitting her up from friends is a good idea.

Any words of wisdom?

From a practical perspective, is there still space in the closer school?

If its a feeder school I'd have expected there to be a bus?

Seems odd to be thinking about this now rather than at application time.

I'm waiting to hear back to see if there is a space, just wanted to get some perspective in case there is a space

We are outside of the area so there is no bus.

I have unfortunately been made redundant, and the positions that I am now applying for are outside the area, hence the change of plans

Sounds like a no brainer. She can be more independent since she can go by herself and she will make new friends, see them more easily if they’re local etc.

You said she sounds excited, she might use it as an opportunity to start again and thrive. If you’re labelled as a shy kid and you’re stuck with the same people it can be hard to change it.

If ypu can get a place at this late stage and there is no major difference in the schools academically then I would go for the closer school. Secondary school is a long time and logistics matter. Early morning drop offs might be ok to start with but they're likely to become quite a nuisance for all concerned if it's still going on years later. And certainly as she gers into her teens your DD is likely to want a bit more independence and to prefer getting the bus with her friends without your involvement. Also give some thought to extra curriculars. How is she going to get back from any after school activities. This can be any issue at any school that is not within walking distance but from the closer school I would hazard a guess that there is a better chance of there being public transport or of getting a lift with another pupil who lives near you.
I would put up with difficult logistics if the farther away school is much better, but if it's similar then I would opt for theb one which makes life easier.

For the closer school how long will she need to spend home alone by herself in the morning and evening before someone else gets home. Is she ok with that as 11 is quite young if it’s 3 hours plus every day in my opinion

@KarmenPQZ it would be around 15/20mins in morning and about 30mins after school

There were 100 children from DD's primary school that went to her secondary school. There were around 20 that she considered to be friends and would have loved to be in her class.

She was put in a class with 2 girls from her primary school - one she'd never spoken to, and one that she liked well enough but wasn't someone she'd ever really interacted with.

Point of story - just because she's going to a school with her friends doesn't mean she will have any contact with them.

Go to the local school (assuming there is a space).
She can stay in touch with her existing friends if she wants to.