Year 12 house parties - hosting tips please

[queenceleste]

Dd is 18 this year and we are thinking of her having a party at home for her 18th.

She has been to very few so isn’t sure what is generally a good offer if you like.

My sister had a daughter who had some house wrecking parties son am a bit nervous.

I have a few questions

1. can parents be present but out of the way?

2. how do you manage alcohol with a mixed age group of year 12s?

3. is pizza, mocktails, snacks, cake etc enough?

I was a teenager so long ago that I have no idea how it’s done but I would love to have some pointers to encourage me.

We don’t have a very huge grand house though. My insecurity makes me hesitate in case her mates are snooty but maybe they’ll just be happy to have a party. But I just don’t know how other people manage it with confidence.

My best advice is don’t! We did it once - never again. At a compromise I’d allow her to have a few friends over to get ready/have pre drinks with and then head on a proper night out.

I don’t even have a Year 12 (yet) and I just came in to say don’t 😂

good idea on pre drinks tho

Thank you! I’m very torn!
I like the idea of it being in the garden but then it’s SO noisy for the neighbours!

Why do you want to host it in your home?

I think it depends on group. My Y12 daughter had a party in Y11 after exams and then a birthday on at Easter this year. She had about 50 kids at each, mostly in the garden. I stayed upstairs, provided pizza, soft drinks, water, sweets and things. I’m sure they brought drinks and - whilst loud and me being stressed all evening - the worst they did was decapitate a spoon . We were lucky with lovely weather and neighbours who think she’s great meaning the 12.30am finish didn’t bother them. She was really clear what she thought was okay in the house though and they stuck to it, so I guess I’m lucky. I already know with my 12yo DS, I will never be allowing him to host

We have allowed hyper social daughter parties several times since she turned 15, and nothing terrible has so far happened. We even go out to give them a few hours head start - take younger, quieter sibling to cinema then give him noise-cancelling headphones and a couple of thick pillows on return!
I’m a former secondary teacher and I just love teens. Especially when they’re having fun. Of course, as I say ‘no alcohol’ several used to arrive trolleyed (one lassie loudly complimented me on my outfit as our paths crossed on the drive, and proceeded to plough through a flowerbed and fall over the doorstep).
Highlights have been sitting in an armchair shoved against my bedroom door listening to the gossip as they queued for the loo, two lovely lads helping pick up after everyone had left at midnight (rule set in advance), and a very cheeky lifelong mate of my daughter’s telling me that ‘I’ll let you know when I’m ready to leave’ after I pointedly offered him a lift at 12:30. Ah, no dear, here are your trainers.

So are her friends a mixture of 16 and 17, if she’s year 12? I think it’d be a bit miserable for her to have no alcohol at her 18th birthday party, but it def makes it harder if her friends are a fair bit younger.

My eldest is turning 18 late on in y13 so a bit easier on that front. We’re having a house party for about 25 of them this weekend… I’ve been reading various threads on it and asking friends as this is the first time he’s had this sort of party at home.

We’re in a terrace house with obv a few close by neighbours. They are all lovely and I messaged them last weekend to let them know there’d be an unusual amount of noise and they were all v nice about it - we are always super considerate and have never hosted a noisy party before.

Hoping they’ll mostly be outside as there’s more space for milling about. We’ve bought a few extra cheap deck chairs and borrowed an extra bench for lounging around. Got three large bins for empties to dot about strategically. He’ll have a Spotify jam on the Sonos system downstairs with one speaker out in the garden. Large plastic crate with ice cubes and cans - we’re buying beer and mixers, apparently some people will bring spirits. They are a reasonably geeky crowd but I’m expecting a smattering of rowdiness. We’ve emptied all the alcohol out of the house and will clear all surfaces and put party tablecloths on them all. Throws on all the sofas. Moving furniture all to one side. Downstairs loo with strategic collection of cleaning supplies. Ordering domino’s around 8pm. Lots of plastic glasses. We will lurk upstairs out of the way.

Big 18 balloons and some party banners. He is otherwise unfussed on decor.

Will report back after the weekend….

Tips
buy loads mixters so they can water stuff down / hydrate between drinks
(assume they’ll bring alcohol from age 15/16)
provide loads bins - for cans etc but also gum and other stuff. They’ll use a bin if close. If not you’ll spend weeks clearing cans and gum

On our estate everyone is cool with it as long as warned and curfew by midnight.
Maybe 1am if 18th

Buy cheap rugs and put them down over carpet. Ditto cheap throws over sofas!

Oh no, just don't!

Have it as an outside event - couple of gazebos, garden chairs, fill up flexitubs with ice & get some ciders in, party lights. Otherwise just get them to go elsewhere.

We’ve had quite a few teenage parties. It’s an 18th, completely normal to have a party at home especially with licensing laws being far stricter than back in the day.

I’ve hosted (well not really but allowed them to happen) a few teenage parties without any real incident. My tips are:
• Don’t worry about the size of your house or how well decorated or tidy it is. They really really will not care
• Move anything you particularly care about out of the way
• Have an end time, have it on a weekend, let the neighbours know in advance.
• Go out but not too far and tell them to call you if there’s a problem and return shortly before the end time
• Provide some alcohol - they’ll bring it anyway. Don’t bother with food beyond some crisps etc and nothing you wouldn’t want to clean out of a carpet
• Have a limit on numbers
• Provide easily accessible bin bags and kitchen and loo roll
• Be prepared to clean the next day

It’s always been fine, vast majority of teens are lovely. I came home to the last one to find no-one had got sick, and they’d sorted the recycling.

Well most of her friends won’t be 18 at the time and they don’t seem to be pub goers, there is ID strictness.

Some of these posts make it sound doable? If a bit scary 😆

Our three kids had at least two parties - on 16th and 18th
the worst that happened- someone took all my Ikea egg cups home (bashful brought them back next day haha), sick in the garden, downstairs loo, mud on the carpet.

do you have a lockable space like a garage? I put ‘precious’ things in there - family photos, mementos, art, ornaments, etc.
have a sign by the door saying shoes off, and one on the loo (saying loo!)
buy in beer and cider and pre mixed cocktails- they’re all usually less than 5%
lots of snacks.
lots of soft drinks.
leave out some group games - twister and jenga.
wipes in every room!

then I go away with any younger children and stay at friends.
my DH is in charge- in the first one, our DDs 16th, he and his mate were in charge - they went to the pub and said they’d be back at midnight- which they were , throughly pissed . DH promptly fell asleep in DSs bed, whilst his mate played drinking games!!
all was good - ime kids really really appreciated having a party, and were very sweet and funny.

The best organised house party when I was young had the parents present but upstairs, so we could enjoy ourselves without feeling we were being watched but they were there for any issues (like when I vomited in the kitchen sink and her lovely mum cleaned me up and drove me home)

When I had a party (well, the one party that was sanctioned by my parents) my parents went out and left us to it but it was only a small group and I decided I would be very grown up and throw a dinner party and we only drank wine. So depends on the group really.

DD had a party at home when she turned 17. It was absolutely fine. I was upstairs and I told her she could use the ground floor but not upstairs (apart from DD's friend with autism who was allowed to go to DD's bedroom if overwhelmed), if anyone was going to smoke they had to do it in the garden and absolutely no spirits whatsoever. They all did what they were supposed to.

My view on alcohol at parties/ gatherings 16+ was that I would not police what other young people drunk, but I wouldn’t provide it. I used to get DS a 4 pack of the flavoured cider to take with him and just hoped that other kids hadn’t got stronger stuff.

I allowed a group of his friends round for his 17th, they did a BBQ. DH and I agreed to go out for the evening, I think til about 11 and they had to tidy up, which they did.

Actually, as I think of it, there was a non-sanctioned party the Easter weekend before DS was 18 when DH and I were away. I gather from some of the neighbours they were a bit rowdy in the garden (neighbours told me in the sense of being lighthearted rather than complaining but that they wanted me to be aware). The only indication in the house was a few ornaments in the wrong place, so without the neighbours I wouldn’t have known.